38 - Sunday, March 8, 1987 - North Shore News Lifestyles Address impolite remarks correctly DEAR MISS MANNERS — As a single 35-year-orj female physi- cian, | frequently find myself on the receiving end of unmannerly observations about) my marital status. These remarks are delivered by married persons who seem tu feel that their marriage licence confers on them the right to be rude. SCE Eee miss manners by Judith Martin CATE The comments are delivered cheerfully enough, and the speaker is somehow unaware of the hidden message. For example, a speaker’s amazement that Iam not yet mar- ried though I am not bad looking, carries with it the implication that there must be something malignant about my personality. And the ap- parent compliment about how courageous I am to keep trying goes hand in hand with the reminder that J keep failing. Here sre responses I am con- sidering: In answer to ‘‘I don’t know how you do it — I simply could not live my life alone the way you do,” I plan to say, ‘“‘I don’t know how you do it — I simply could not live on $30,000 a year.”’ And in retaliation to suggestions that I am ‘“‘not getting any younger,’ I am going to suggest that the speaker is not getting any more aware of the feelings of others. Miss Manners, do these responses make me unfit for polite society or are they justifiable on the grounds of self-defense? Would homicide be justifiable as an alternative? GENTLE READER — = Miss Manners is under the impression that, etiquette aside, homicide is a distinct violation of your medical ethics. And yes, those responses would make you unfit for polite saciety. What polite society, you may well ask? Miss Manners certainly sym- pathizes with you there. No doubt these people think, in their well- meaning way, that they are helping you manage your life by pointing out that you are single, because you might not otherwise have noticed. But idiocy is no excuse for rudeness. Neither, however, is being driven to madness by that same idiocy. The correct answer to such im- proper personal questions is a freezing ‘*How kind of you to take an interest in my personal life,” followed ty 2 pointed change of subject back to the professional matier at hand. In your case, you are particularly lucky that there are areas normally considered private that are, in fact, the business of a person’s physician. What is to stop you from saying, quite properly; “And 1 hope your movements ANN aN Adventure Tours Presents ALASKA TRAVELTALE FILM NARRATED IN PERSON BY FRAN REIDELBERGER VAN ORPHEUM Wed. Mar. 11 — 6:00 p.m. Res.: $8.25, 7.50. 7.00 Stu. $5.75 North Van. CENTENNIAL (3 shows) Tue. Mar. 10 6:00 - 8:30 p.m. Thu. Mar. 12 — Mat.: 2:00 p.m. Res: $8.25, Students $5.75 TKTS AT ALL VTC/CBO OUTLETS INFORMATION and CHARGELINE ph: 280-4444 $1.00 service charge on sgl. tickets 'NORBURN LIGHTING 4600 East Hastings, Burnaby Tel. 299-0666 WHOLESALE & RETAIL—-FREE CATALOGUES AVAILABLE} have been regular tately"'? DEAR MISS MANNERS — Pre- tend thst today is Tuesday, the first day of no month in particular. TL want to have friends over for a casual dinner party on Saturday, the fifth of the same month. When inviting friends (verbally), should 1 say, ‘Please come over for dinner this Saturday’’ or ‘Please come over for dinner next Saturday?” Enter family conflict, which we would tike settled once and for all. The father of our household in- sists that (he correct usage is ‘this neat Saturday." Does Father know best? GENTLE READER — You could listen) to your father. Maybe he is making the extremely sensible point that if you keep quibbling over words, no one is going to get anything to eat around here. NORTH VANCOUVER STORE Mon.-Fri, 8:30 am - 9:00 pm Sat. 8:30 am - 6:00 pm Sun. 10:00 am - 5:00 pm avery “Drive Through Lumber Yard Now Open’”’ WE'RE GIVING YOU SOME REASONS | TO ORDER CUSTOM UPHOLSTERY NOW (A) Furniture to last a fifetime. {B) Made on the premises by the finest craftsmen. (C] Hardwood frames prop- erly dowelled and corner blocked. (D} Webb and coil spring construction all 8 way hand tied. (E} All fabrics patterned matched and Scotchquarded. (F} Only the best materials used. § (A) March is the slowest month of the year in our upholstery shop. {B] A good reason for a sale to keep them busy. (C]An opportunity for us to, reduce our large inventory of fine fabrics. E {A} All those lavish — Import fabrics. (B) Gorgeous textures and sophisticated prints. {(C} 20 to 30% off our regular price. {D) Sale — includes sofa-loveseats, chair:, ottomans, and sectional pieces. THOMASVILLE GALLERY 4240 PAANOR ST., RURNABY, B.C. (1% block west of Villa Sheraton Hotel) That should be reascn enough to pick out the style — then indulge yourself with the perfect fabric. Free advice from our interior designers” Ter em We ae En et ADE Tene a eee arene SE Pe Cy Wehel ERED ENE HE ene SEEN Dt etn EP res