8 - Wednesday, July 24, 1985 - North Shore News

Doggy bag with a d

THIS CHAP I know will prebatly make a for-
tune from the wonderful idea he has. The bankers
are interested, and those guys have no time for

frivolities.

The fellow of whom I
speak plans to market some-
thing calied **Flush-Aways’’.
Or it may be ‘*Flush-Its"*. it
could even end up _ being
called ‘‘Flush-It-Or Chuck
it," there being so many
smartasses around.

The ‘it’? part refers to
doggy-poo.

Doggy-poo is a vexatious
item. People with dogs don't
think so, and betieve that
other people should be
tolerant. ‘‘What's a bit of
kakki between friends?’’ is
the way they look at it. But
people who have no doggies
are not amused when they
find a pint-sized poo on their
lawns.

There are such things as
pooper-scoopers, of course,
Bu: the ‘‘Flush-Away’’ will
te to the pooper-scooper zs
dieset is to steam. Or so my
man fervently believes.

Quite simply, the
““Flush-Away’” will be a
bio-degradable bag into
which the doggy-poo will be
scraped with tender loving
care and then flushed down
your toilet. Failing that, you
will be able to heave it over
someone’s hedge. (Hence the
“chuck-it’”’ bit.)

oo EAN is a ee EE

Lynn Valley
Centre

985-2517

Soe a RE gO, ee _—

Sy eee
aS

selected Summer
Stock

Select from these Brand
names 2nd save

“Can you put it in your
pocket?’’ 1 asked. That
might be possible, he said. It
would be up to the individu-
al, Most people, he thought,
would prefer to carry it.

There are all kinds of
statistics on dogs and
dogey-poa, and my man has
them at his fingertips.

In B.C., 31 per cent of
households have one or
more dogs. That’s close to
the national average,
although the Froggies don’t

like doggies to the extent:

that we do. In Quebec it’s
only 21 per cent.

In Greater Vancouver and
Victoria, there is a grand
total of 387,345. Doggies,
that is. All pooping.

My man also knows the
weight of the average
doggy-poo. He says it’s one
pound, give or take a few
grams.

With each doggy produc-
ing twice a day, the sales
possibilitize are practically
limitless, he enthuses.

The North Shore alone
presents a very attractive
market. It has 38,360 dog-
gies, and they’re all well fed.
But even if they're only
average producers, it still
works out at 76,720 pounds.

ee

Tas a en Ba

ee eee

es

ree a

Park Royal
south Mall

926-0007

Or, as he sees it, 76,720
bags.

My man is a salesman,
and when he trots these fig-
ures forth he starts breathing
heavy. Every dog that passes
is seen as a_ potential
nioney-bag.

**That one over there,"’ he
said, pointing to a big beast
across the road as we were
having coffee. ‘ht must
poop like crazy.’’

Ever sniffing for bottom-
line facts, I will take no
man’s figures without check-
ing. So I asked how my

yn

oi
AY)
20

friend knows that one
doggy-poo equals one
pound. Had he weighed
any?

He confessed he hadn’s,
but said conspiratorially tha:
the dog-food people check
these things cut. That's how
they know that some dog
food produces more poo
than others.

“But we're talking about
averages,” he said firmly.

How did he know, |
queried further, that anyone
would buy his amazing in-
novation?

itference

“*Laws,"* he said. ‘‘People
are revolting against
doggy-poo, the filthy stuff,
and I know because a lady in
our apartment block threat-
ene’ to kill me when my
own dear litle doggy left a
packet behind. That's how |
got the idea for “‘Flush-lts’’.

“Just think of the mar-
ket,’’ he cooed. More than
2,402,200 doggies in five
major market areas in
Canada. That’s ...."".

‘“‘Wonderful,"’ 1 said.

My man’s name, believe it
or not, is Brown.

Al

get this
straight
a

| Renauilts

front wheel drive
electronic fuel
injection
5-year/80,000 km
warranty

European technology
at affordable prices