46 - Sunday, December 23, 1990 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES Don’t challenge other people’s beliefs DEAR MISS MANNERS — Last Christmas there was a story in the paper about 2 five-year-old who upset her kindergarten classmates by telling them there is no San- ta Claus. When the teacher asked the lit- tle girl to kindly keep that infor- mation ‘to herself, the child's mother became indignant. Claim- ing abridgment of her daughter's freedom of speech, she removed the child from the school. This incident has nothing to do with rights and everything to do with manners. The essence of good manners is being loath to offend another person when there is no constructive reason to dc so. A young woman with good manners is reluctant to inform her great-aunt Alice that she (the young woman) has moved in with her boyiziend or has taken a ies- bian lover, if that informaffon is bound to pain Aunt Alice. Parents who do not want their young children to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy may so instruct their children. If, however, they want them to have good manners, they will ‘ell the children that it is wrong: to use that special informa- dion to hurt other children who have different beliefs. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners wishes you hadn't mixed up the little girl’s declaration with the hypothetical big girl’s. There Plies, Shi 5 Judith Martin MISS MANNERS is quite a difference between the question of Santa Claus’s ex- istence and that of someone who is sharing one’s apartment, Couldn't you have made an analogy with a young atheist’s refraining from debating theology with her religious aunt? Then it would have been a clear-cut case of not challenging others’ beliefs, rather than concealing one’s living arrangements. The rule is that one does not denigrate others’ faith by declar- ing that what they believe is not true. Miss Manners thinks that rather too much was made on both sides of the small child's artless challenge, but agrees that the difference between what is epen to class debate and what is personal should have been taught. How right you are that this is a question of manners, not of rights. DEAR MISS MANNERS — Not being of the Christian faith, but having many friends who are, T always send Christmas cards to my Christian friends. My dilemma is that 1 receive Christmas cards in return, some with a very religious picture and message. [ must admit that I am a litte resentful and somewhat hurt that the consideration I show for them, during their religious Christmas observance, is not reciprocated when I observe Hanukkah. How can I convey to these dear fciends that I would rather not receive any card at all than receive a Christmas card for a holiday I do not observe? GENTLE READER — Your friends may not be callous so much as confused, Miss Manners surmises. The idea of sending people greetings on their religious holidays, rather than on one’s own, may make sense. but it doesn't happen to be the general custom. Because you send Christmas ecards, your Christian friends assume that you are participating in this exchange. Those who sent you religious cards are, Miss Manners agrees, insensitive. But those who failed to send you Hanukkah cards may actually be sensitive to the fact thar some Jews regard them as an offensive aping of Christian customs. FOTOMAX ONE HOUR Fujicolor Quicksnap with flash wn i | Coupon must be presented with purchase. We reserve ihe right to limit quantities. I L Coupon expires Dec. 30/90. One coupon per family. 4 FREE SECOND SET OF PRINTS With this coupon we will make 2 sets of prints for the One Hour photofinishing order. 135, 126 & 110 only. (Full frame & C41 process). Coupon must be presented with purchase. Not valid with any other specials. Coupon expires Jan. 6/91. One coupon per family. . “The Image o* film and paper -— parfectior’ LONSDALE QUAY MARKET 985-3339 ee ce ee hia 9 ohn ot, MERRY CHRISTMAS WASTE SYSTEMS LTD. — HOLIDAY GARBAGE COLLECTION SCHEDULE NORTH VANCOUVER CITY RESIDENTS THANK YOU! WEEK OF CHRISTMAS ae FRIDAY FRIDAY JAN. 4 HAVE A SAFE HOLIDAY! WEST VANCOUVER CITY RESIDENTS DEC. 24 DEC. 27 DEC. 28 DEC. 29 MONDAY [WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY FRIDAY DEC. 31 JAN. 4 dn tacit chy ath aty ats OM cH on Re or tis 2 Tis tthe corte tis 2 Ht 0