Freelance Counsellor Ha yden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appoinime nts for individual, family or group counselling. His new office in the Internauonal Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the convemence of North Shore residents. Enough of being nice QUESTION: How do I put _ _on the brakes? When I first | married I had the idea that I wanted to do everything in the world to be pleasing to my husband. I think I w pretty good at it and at first, felt real good about it. But gradually 1 have seen that 1 . am making myself into a nobody. I don’t have any will of my own. My whole Life bas come to be in pleasing him. I feel like I am losing my identity. I do not mean this in the Womens’ Lib way, it's more that I am not QUESTION: For several years now our family has been at loggerheads. My parents and two of my sisters and a brother all live in greater Vancouver and we practically never see each other or even talk to each other on the ‘phone. It is not quite right to say we are at loggerheads because we never had a big feud or anything like that. We just simply don't bother with each other. This has been all right with me. I don’t really like my relatives very much anyway. But just lately ['ve been thinking that there is something very unnatural about our family ties. If I had a deep longing to do something about it, I believe I would. But to tell you the truth, I don't care a heck of a lot one way or the other. Any comments? ‘ STEWART: decisive any more, I don't take any initiative. I don't even go to the comer store without “reporting in” when I get back. How do J find my old self again without disrupting my marriage? STEWART: taken the first step in recognizing what you are doing to yourself. Tell your husband what has happened and that you want to do something You've If you don't care a heck of a lot, some of your options seem to eliminate themselves don't they? However, at least you are curious about what you call your “unnatural family ties” and that gives you an Opening door. Would you feel hike ‘phoning your mother and father and telling them you'd like to come over and see them and talk over something that is on your mind? Then you could tell them that although you don't know of anything serious that keeps you all apart, you are sort of curious about it and would like to get better acquainted witinthem again and see where it leads. Let them know that it has occurred to you that it is a sort of unnatural way for a family to be and that you are quite open to discovering Thanks —tra-la QUESTION: Your answer about spring was good. TRA LA! , STEWART: Thanks. I thought so too. TRA LA! LL SHOW YOU HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF! ve had a weight probiem myself But | con- quered it' Now I'm a size 9 tnatead of a 16 So ! understand the social, psychological and physical problems of being overweight Through our ret Workshop system of diet and nutrittonal guidance exercise program mes and behavior modification | can help you lose weight too' VIDA CRAWFORD Branch Manager FREE! 6 Cycte SUPER COOKBOOK Fire: Mayty Change on Oret Wornsnop Mimsory “asking” him and - about being more of your own person, without spoiling your relationship, but rather making it better. You see, he will be better off himself when you become more like your real self. He will not lose out, but will gain by your growth, especially if he is wise enough to understand and support you in your emerging. Get into a Self- Assertiveness group, or arrange for counselling and get on with the business of being a more complete person. Family at loggerheads whether you all would like to become friends again. Don't have any specific expectations. They might be delighted that you have wanted to take the initiative in establishing a _ relation- ship, or, they may be quite lacking in any interest in it. Just be there with them, open to anything that develops. It may turn out to be a very pleasing get- together. After all, | imagine you have all received a lot from each other and given a lot too. Keep open — and give it a good old try. 4 sessions Fee $15 North Vancouver Cy Designed to help participants to assess their present: tion and clarify possible options for change. We will existing and potential skills, develop short and:ion WRCP 61031 Wen-Do: Wamen’s Self-Defense Wednesday, 7:00 to 9:00 pm, starting Apri Ssessions Fee: $28 Lynnmouw Centra ND1 This course is a continuation of the basic Wan-Do. It: cludes techniques as well as reviews and practice of basi : “Intermediate Wen-Do" is the beginning stage of gaining ranks in this system of self-defense. Open to any wom who have completed the basic program in Wen-Do wacpe 63001 Going to Work: How to Land a Job Saturday, 9:00 am to 4:00 pm, May 10.| 1 session Fee: $20 Lynnmour Centre ND101" ‘This workshop will include job search techniques::.| Video-taped rojle-playing of interview situations will be available for participants who want this kind of opportunity. WRCP 64001 Changing Jobs Saturday, 9:00 am to 4:00 pm, April 26, 1 sesston Fee: $20 Lynnmour Centre ND101 ERS do eR RF TEM Bane, Es TM RATE BEST RRS ROR ENE one ee _ask hayden stewart - Searching forbetter weekend ‘ QUESTION: A lot of people say TGIF (Thank God It's Friday) but I am just the % opposite. Weekends are a drag for me. Pm more likely . to say Monday. I've got a real good job, but that’s not why [m | eager for Monday. I just don’t like Friday nights, Saturdays and Sundays. I’m “between men’’, and weekends without a partner are pretty deadly. I'm getting sick of staring at my four walls. ['m_ tired of writing letters and reading magazines and doing the vacuuming: all over again. What can a single girl do to handle her dead weekends? STEWART: Well, someday, (1 hope soon) you'll decide to turn your dead weékends into live ones. But for goodness sake do it while you are still “between men”. That will save you from forming the opinion about yourself that you can only have good weekends when there is a handy man within reach — or even a very important man within reach. I refuse to give you some cute little ideas about how to fill your weekends rewar- dingly. Do it yourself. And if you say, “I just don’t have the energy, or incentive, or ideas to get going”, then Ill just say right back at you, “Then feel sorry for yourself a. litde longer until you are’ sick enough of that plan to — discover another one that is better!” You'll do it soon. Why not NOW? instructar: Joanne Qben intermediate 1 instructor: Alice, Macpherso how to write a resume | writing covering letters - getting references. : making-contacts pinpointing opportunities” how to handle an interview — fielding questions : what to expect | Instructor: Suzanne Bolton Thank God It's °° Butterick #6927 Save 28% Denim Western & casual fashion must. Polyester/cotton blue jean denim for the ‘entire family. i Gold's req. iow 3.99 Yarn Dyed . Slaliatiare| Top off your wardrobe with plaids & stripes. 115 cm easy.care blends. Everyday sale price ¢ Fe Terry Chenille Soft & Juxurious for summer fun wear. Absorbent cotton/polyester. 150 cm. Gold's reg. low 6.99 Memory Lane Prints You'll love these mini prints for special occasions or Cas- ual fashion. 115 cm polyester/ rayon. Gold's reg. low 4.36 Velama Velour Four season favorite for sport pullovers & fashionable robes. $9 Everyday sale price metre 4 . Nubby Boucle Prints Semi-sheer, soft and cool prints that read spring! 150 88 cm polyester/nylon/cotiton. metre Gold's reg. low 8.74 Fashion & Decorator Fabrics from around if you think you are in a dead-end job or frustrated with your present field of work, join us for this-workshop We will hetp you evaluate the pros and cons of making a change. Wa can share the techniques of decision-making and how to ac- tually go about implementing your decision. instructor: Suzanne Bolton . CALL 986-1911 Local 321. Or stop by the WOMEN’S RESOURCE CENTRE -_ Lynnmour Campus. Up the hill rom the Coach Hotse § the world. _ VANCOUVER S = 2690 Granville & 11th Ave 736-4565 | ~ : 11th & Arbutus 736-0538 NORTH VANCOUVER 341 Lonsdale 980 4433 GRAND OPENING Thursday, April 24th 7:30 No Obligation to join! 3300 Lonsdale Ave., N. Van. SPECIAL OFFER North Lonsdale United 18 CLASSES FOR THE PRICE OF 16 — $56.00 (Save 25%) During Open House Week Only Or $10 OO Registration Fee & $4 00 Weekly