32 - Sunday, November 12, 1989 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES ‘Nosy’ parents irritate DEAR MISS MANNERS — How do you gracefully tell parents and in-laws to mind their own business? Tam 30 years old and have been married 10 years. My husband and I do aot have children yet. We decided years ago to wait until we renovated our house and thew sav- ed up some money, so I wouldu’t have to return to work after the miss manners Judith Martin birth of our child. Our parents continually ask what’s taking us so iong. They often say, “I hope you have a baby before we die.’’ They ask if we're ‘“‘working on’? a baby yet, and they generally badger and em- barrass us, sometimes with other people present. They are often Tarn a weeknight into a great night in a few easy steps. quite crass about it. Their comments hurt us, but we feel this is personal and is nene of their business. What's woese is that for all they know, we could have been trying for years without suc- cess. How can they be so insensitive? How do we tell them to stop? Ig- noring the comments, laughing them off or just saying ‘‘soon’’ doesn’t seem to work. This has been going on for two years, and I’m about to blow my top. Ours would not be the first grandchild on either side. GENTLE READER — Look at it this way: If you’ve been married for 10 years, and this has only been going on for two years, these people held out for eight years. Miss Manners suggests you tell them your genera! thoughts, using the intimacy of the occasion ta ask them to keep your confidences in secret from the vast number of nosy outsiders who think nothing nowadays of quizzing about private matters. DEAR MiSS MANNERS — Several weeks ago a friend drop- ped by while I was listening to classical music on the stereo. She said she didn’t like ‘‘that type of music” and asked me to change the station. I complied, even though I felt the request was im- proper. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners counts two improprieties from a guest who first drops by and then demands that the in- VISIT WITH SUE COLEMAN FRIDAY, NOVEMEER 17 3-5 pm — 7-9 pm A collection of the artist's work will be on display till Nov. 25. BILTON’S ART CENTRE 4109 East ist Street E N. Vancouver 925-4033 aD ‘ <= Just makea reservation @ at The Roof for Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. We're open from 6p.m. to mid- night those nights, but if you join us for dinner before 7 p.m., we'll make yor'r evening even more enjoyable ~ we'll take 50% off your 1od bill. The band, which plays your favourite music from contemporary to big band, starts at 8p.m. {If it's entertainment you're after, remember ou! lounge is open from 4:30p.m. on, with live music.) Call 684-3131 for reser- vations. And have a great weeknight. Canadian Pacific 24 Hotels & Resorts Hotel Vancouver voluntary hostess change her activ- ity to suit the guest’s tastes. How- ever, you may be comforted to know that a hostess gets double credit for complying with a guest’s improper request. DEAR MISS MANNERS — My fiancee and I want to be married soon. We very much want (to in- clude ail of our family and friends at the special event; however, we are limited financially and cannot afford to pay for a nice reception. We would like to at least an- nounce our marriage plans to everyone. GENTLE READER — Not if you are thinking about sending out an announcement of an upcoming wedding. Miss Manners is sorry, but there is no formal way of say- ing, ‘‘We’re having a wedding, but ~ we're not inviting you.”’ Announcements are made after the wedding, leaving guests to assume that the event was so small that there had to be a cutoff just short of some category that would include them. At our Thomasville Gallery you'll tinct exceptionat values on ali styies of handcratied Thomasville home furnishings: French. 48th Century American, Comtemporary and Country. 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