(roe canes eee eee

fall, and his

Friend can’t stand
sight of suffering

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
I have a very good friend
with whom, until recently, I
could discuss just: about
anything. The problem now
is our disagreement concern-
ing the girl he is dating.

miss
manners

by Judith

Martin
a

‘They began seeing each
other when he had just

graduated from high school ..

and she was a sophomore. In_-
those days, he was lucky if
he saw her: once every two
weeks, her reason being that
she was too young to be tied
down. --%
Personally,” We never
thought of a weekly’ dinner
asa lifetime -commitment.
When. my . friend succeeded
in. uring a date with her,
thee “ appointments’ would
often be “forgotten”? or she
would call him at home,
often after he had been to
her..bouse, to explain that
she. simply couldn’t break

- off whatever she was cur-

rently involved in. Usually it
was because her friends had

‘stopped ‘by.and she just ‘had

to do something with them.

“This situation is almost in
its third year, My friend will
be a junior in college this
‘girlfriend’
will be entering the same
school.

‘She is the first girl‘he has
ever dated. 1 think he is get-

‘ ting'a distorted picture of

how a relationship should.
work. He is taken for
granted, used for siatus (he
is very wealthy), and worst
of all, he has: developed a
severe case of Puppy Dog
Syndrome with an Elastic
Complication —- he follows
her around like a loving

.devoted puppy, but the
‘harder he gets kicked, ‘the

faster and more directly he
returns,

‘When any of. his friends
try to approach him with the
idea of maybe taking
another girl on one date, he
flatly refuses. Any per-

sistence on the part. of the -f

suggester is met with a con-
descending ‘“‘Someday you'll”
understand.”
‘How would Miss Manners
gt in this situation?

‘GENTLE READER —
Miss Manners would first
solemnly reflect that this sit-
uation ,is not her business,
any. more than it is’ yours.
She would - next. remind
herself that nothing is less
rewarding than trying to talk
sense into someone in the
throes of emotion. |

> Then she would try to cure

your friend of this degrading
involvement. Knowing that

it was both impertinent and
close to hopeless, she would
nevertheless make an effort
because, like you, she hates
the sight of suffering.

Her approach would, at
least initially, be more. suc-
cessful than yours, however.
That is because she would
not even try to persuade the
gentleman to look for hap-
piness elsewhere. Instead,
she would offer him a for-
mula for extracting satisfac-
tion from the only lady who
interests him.

That would be to ‘feign
indifference and give the
impression of being cured of
his passion to the point of

seeming unable to remember
that he once had it. If he
cheerfully neglected the lady
who finds him such a
nuisance, and subtly allowed
her to discover that he had
found happiness elsewhere,
as she supposed she had
wished, he would find her
taking a new interest in him.
If you predict this to him,
and it then happens, the ob-
ject of his love will stand
exposed like a magician
whose tricks are explained.
Miss Manners is sorry that
such a cynical trick would
work, but it would. Should
your friend truly succeed in
appearing to be free, the

DR. KATHLEEN PERRY, M.D.

wishes to announce the relocation
of her office to #105 2419
Bellevue Ave., West Van.

24 hrs.

926-0197

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‘FOR LUNCH |

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926-8922

lady would be unreasonably
annoyed by the disap-
pearance of what she now
considers an annoyance —
his attention.

Paradoxically, those who
believe most in the durability
of love are those who scorn
it. Struggle as one might to
tid oneself of a lovesick pest,
success is marred by resent-
ment.

Come in and
meet your new

business partner.

Yes, | am interested in.attending NY bp
an Apple II Tutorial Seminar. ae

i Name. j
i Address j
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rT Postal Code. Telephone i
Tam particularly interested in: 1 ij .

i C3 Apple tle (1 accounting

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r ©) Education C7] Telecommunications r

C} Small business applications
Mens rer corm ws wes me mC US a | [

Your new partner just might be an
Apple Uf personal computer. With ane at
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Of course, choosing a partner is also a matter of compatibility,
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North Shore News

37 - Sunday, September 2, 1985 -

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