4- Friday, May 31, modern Canadian A roies in the front line. x I'm sure every other male chauvinist editorial writer, columnist and commentarer in the universe has crawled all over this one, but I can't resist. 1 think the defence department is completely out - of its tree. A leaked document states. that the military brass don’t think women should be in the front lines. First, they’re not strong enough. Second, if they’re there, the males in’ the squad will get crazy with lust and forget to blast the hell out of the male enemy ahead. And third—probably most devastatingly—officers, it is implied, might not be able to delegate which piece of can- non fodder to throw into the : : face of unrelenting enemy i, . fire with complete objectivi- ‘ ty if they think there’s a chance they might be able to sleep with it tonight. Have 1 got this right?Sure I have. i ‘ understand the problem perfectly. By the way, the brass are right. These are all serious problems. And while we ail know that women can learn karate and take the gonads out of just about any guy in . * the world short of Conan the L Barbarian, we also know : ‘that on the average, men are bigger than girls and can beat them up. Sorry,'am 1 speaking out of turn?! . But it seems to me that’s ‘precisely the reason mates OPEN |SUNDAY Piggy Back plants Philadendrons Spider plants Prayer plants 9,95 North Shore family run business © Gm Paconrd Partuonld © 1985 - North Shore News have a solution, ahem, to the issue of whether or not female persons should be allowed, in the rmy, to perform combat strictly -_personal by Bob Hunter adopt ‘protective attitudes"’ toward women. Listening to some people, you'd think there was some- thing evil about men being protective toward women. Men just ARE that way because nature would really prefer it. So would most women, Certainly, that's how my mother taughki me to be, and that’s how | teach my sons to be. Hitting girls is bad, dumb and cowardly. Even if they hit you. Yes, son, that’s the way it is. That's why perverts and rapists get such a bad time in jail. The rest ~ “of the males. even if they’re mass murderers, are at least norma! in this one regard: Ya don’t beat up on dames, man! Okay. Given all that, the military brass, | repeat, are missing the boat entirely with this nonsense about women not serving in the ‘front lines. It is, first of all, notewor- thy that in all revolutions and underground move- ‘ ments, women fight side by GRAND OPENING ~ Hang ups that you'll love 34% 8” Hanging Baskets (Get them while they last) 1s! quality bought directly from the grower Open 7 days a week 1509 Lonsdale, North Van 985-4588 Boston fern sale carried over 8" pot reg. $8.95 ( side with men. It is only when the army becomes ‘professional’? that women are bumped aside. Yet in the battle to liberate the British Isles, it was a female leader who drove back the Romans. And then there's Thatcher and Indira and Golda and Mila. Jeez, do we need to belabor the point? So here's my suggestion. It's not men who should be in the front lines, it’s women! We should have an all-female army with males regulaed to washing the linen, manning (literally) the telphones and word pro- cessors, and sitting at a desk outside the commanderess’s office; legs crossed, reading Soldier of Fortune. Right away you see the wisdom of this vision, right? If it is true that male soldiers, including officers, can't carry out their orders in the presence of females because (a) they're too overwhelmed by [ust and (b) they can't bring themselves to kill what they might sleep with, then it follows logically that we should send nothing but females to the front. This way, the Russkies (or for that matter the Yanks) would be totally thrown out of kilter. In fact, with ail due modesty, 1 think I have just hit upon the ultimate military strategy of all time and should be knighted. While the enemy is busy gawking at the regiments of Canuck femmes (and heaven knows they’re a gorgeous lot), our ladies can flutter their eyelashes and gun these turkeys down en masse. It’s le, (gn Women best war weapons that simple. ; A-bomb to me. With the Canada could probably take ! dunno. Sounds like the first all-woman army since over the world, I say go for most fethal weapon since the days-of the Amazons, it! INNONAT IVE “develoomernts in ~ MICROCOMPUTER APPLICATIONS A one day free show and fell exhibit, demonstrating BCIT’s expertise in designing software systems for business, industry and health services application. TUESDAY, JUNE 4 from 40 am to 6 pm a BCIT, 3700 Willingdon Avenue, Burnaby,-B.C. Look at how BCIT students have designed and implemented’ suc- cessful software systems for industry. Maybe we can Aelp with your project? School of Managernent School of Engineering Technology — School of Health Sciences BRITISH COLUMBIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY FINANCIAL SUCCESS SEMINAR Featuring MIKE GRENBY Money columnist, The Sun. Topic: A Straight Talk On Money - B. W. (BARRY) PICKFORD, CA. Peat, Marwick, Mitchell & Co. Topic: Tax Planning 1985 Federal Budget D. BRENT MAYALL JOHN R. GILMOUR Investors Syndicate Ltd. Topic: Investment Strategies Retirement Planning MODERATOR: Jack Hetherington, Vice-President, N.S.W.C. President of Evergreen Empire Mills ‘ ADDRESS: The North Shore Winter Club ' 1325 East Keith Rd., North Vancouver, B.C. DATE: June 6, 1985 TIME: 7:30 p.m. COST: $10.00 Single, $15.00 Couple. Part of proceeds go to: North Shore Assoc. for the Physically Handicapped DOOR PRIZE Dinner for two at the fabulous Cloud Nine Restaurant Return this reply with a cheque before June 4, 1985. TO: North Shore Winter Club Financial Success Seminar 1325 East Keith Rd. North Vancouver, BC, VéT 1J3 NAME: ADDRESS: —. PHONE NO. (Home). nen (Bus.) ENCLOSED $. ($10.00 Single, $15.00 Couple)