C6-Wednesday, April 30, 1980 - North Shore News QUESTION: For vears | have been aware of my seemingly natural tendency to be a searcher in the field of religion and _ higher consciousness. But there is an aspect of my interest that is quite bothersome ‘to me. Simply put, it is this: i have a heavy feeling of guilt whenever I give unbiased attention to the teachings of anyone who is considered to be something other than a “mainline Christian" My father, and his before him. were devout members of a small but fervent denomination which each o! them, | am sure, considered to be “correct”, or perhaps. even the one and only true followers of the Bible. To me, that is not only » narm- ful attitude, but a ridiculous one. And yet, as } say whenever | give objective attention to any other group or creed, I have the feeling ! am disloyal to my tather. tt Thtee aMOUnTS ab un- comfortable feeling of being a deserter. How can ! handle this? STEWART: Your — grand- tather and vour father, | am sure, at umes tell as you do Your father may have come vlose to expanding = his nonzons and then. when vou Came along. he perhaps ‘elf a responsibility to pass mn LO you what he had been aught was right” not only tor hus father out for himself and now tor you He may nave had his moments when ne wanted +o search a little more. rather than settle in or life. bul ne would come mack to the place where he relt “sure and mght” And Ae passed on hat ‘nghtness” -O VOU. He wanted so much for vou to have what he telt was right” for vou. Now years tater. you nave the op- portunity to do what he freetance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 201-0242 torappomiment ‘orindividual family or group counselling His new nthe fniernanonal Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays oniysis tar the ortventientce of North Shore residents ing creates guil wanted for you. He wanted to feel “mght” about what he passed on to you Now it ts YOUR turn to find what you feel is “mght” for vou Don't give yourself permission lo continue to be “stuck” Many of our “con: necuons” are valid but all of our “atlachments are a drag. Vitalize your valid connections, bul don't chng to any of your attachment. You might even end up comfortable and content and honest with the very philosophy that your tather Shared with you, but 1{ must be yours. not Ms Or you may find voarself evolving and matunng and changing In either case. itis loo vour own higher self that your Jovalty must be true “To thine own self be true and 1t tollows as the might the day. though canst not then be talse to anv man” including your father and grandfather The ball isin your court ow about ‘pole cat’? QUESTION: How come women are quite often compared with cats, put men seldom are? Women “sleek as a cat”, they “purr like a cat”, they are as “independent as a cat” “vou mever know what they are thinking — they are just like cats", “women, like cats, just look vou over and go about their own way ‘She + as lithe as a cat" ‘ aear things like that all the time but | never hear a man being compared to a cat. ts there some deep hidden meaning to all this discrimination? are STEWART: A guesnon lke his always gives me pause That shipped entionally No ‘ended). i decide whether (to attempt an in telligent response or to treat ‘he question with the hghr ouch, or -sen disdain In mis case 1 dismiss disdain est | be called cat-like | also dismiss in attempt at an mtelligent reply ithat as always SO difficult for me’: so — in this case — i opt tor thp. My flip answer then. is. 1 wouldnt touch that question with a ten toot pole out unin: pun in- Nave ww What bothers him? QUESTION. There is something or other ‘hat is bothering my husband and | don’t know what it ts. He is worried or sich ar something. He ts quiet or smappy in ways that are not like him at all. F've tried to get him to talk, but he won't When |! ask him what is the matter, he says, “Nothing’ but he says it so that Il expect him to add, “leave me alone”. He hasn't dome that yet, bat I'm afraid he will. What more can I do? STEWART: Tell him you Know it bothers him tor you o keep at mim about whats ‘he matter that for his sake you want to try not to do that anvmore om know there and Then tet that you teel sure is something making him unhappy and that if and when he ever wants to talk thout i vou will be meh here Teli tim vou wall pive mm your support and un ferstanding whenever he is ‘eady) Then stack to your cuns Dont nag no matter how badby vou feel for him (sive him the time and Space he seems lo want For Information call LHARLED Tell-O-Grams for those phone calls you want to make but can't have one of our expenenced callers relate a special message with the utmost discretion Ni onfer Me Not Inexpensive rates 873-3388 & ENTERPRISES (tl cal) By the wav. have vou ever seen 4a ten foot Pole’ Potenually great oasketball plaver ld bet Sears Capilano Mail ask hayden stewart Hugging apart from football QUESTION: The attached clipping from a publication that shall remain nameless, caught my eye and made me think of you. 1 expect you wil have an appropriate comment to make about it. STEWART: There follows the chipping and the com- ment that the wriler expects to be “appropnate” “Dr Virgima Saur has a cure for the blues. All you have to dois hug them away. Dr Saur a social scienust, who says her contact philosophy labelled her a ‘freak’ 30 vears ago, told a meeting of the American Orthopsychiatric Associa- tion in Toronty. four hugs a day are necessary jusf to survive Eight. she says, are good for maintenance and 12 for growth — bul most people are not really into 10 Says she, “Most touching 1s done on the football field” ] am sure the good doctor had her tongue in cheek when she laboured over her ‘tour and eight and ‘twelve’. bulitius easv to hear her saying that hugs and touching are good tor what ails us TH buy that Let's hepe that all the hungry hugiess dont turn oul for football this tall. 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