From page 15 Early one morning I gota call from Pauline at a carpet clean ing joint. “Good morning. Mrs. Humphreys” came the saccharine voice through the telephone line. I was immedi- ately an the defensive, since no one | know calls me Mrs. Humphr “There's no Mrs. Humphreys here,” 1 advi Pauline, which is not a com: plete lic, as Pve recently reverted to my maiden name. OF course, Pauline, sk salesperson she is, valleved back with, “Are you the lady of the house then? forced to cont : Pauline then laune her spiel, which is pretty 4 cal. It’s my lucky day. Her ser- vicemen just happen to be in my neighbourhood, and they’ve had a cancellation, so she’s calling to offer me the ridiculously low price of $59.99 to ‘clean all the carpets me. | only have a couple of rooms with carpet- ing in them, but Pauline hears my dogs barking in the back- ground and explains that the bacteria content in even j one carpeted room wh: there are pets is positi into the charts. It could make my tamily ail, she explains, and as a mother, herself she Knows what a worry family health can he. Emake the mistake of hest- tating for a moment, and Pm taust. Jow's today for your “she chirps. “Egan have our men there in half any hour.” “No good,” Psay forceful: fy, as I'm going to be out all day and [don’t care what she says, no one in my family has gotten sick from a few dog germs. [ tell Pauline with great authority that it will have to be next week or noth- ing, and she puts me on hold while she gets her manager. That her manager sounds like he is 12 years old is irrele- vant. In short order I've agreed ro have my carpets cleaned, deodorized, and scotch guarded at considerably more than $59.99. Not only that, | have | han 20 min- utes fo remove everything trom the floor (including fur- niture) in the rooms to be cleaned so that when the men get here, they don’t have to waste time doing that. After ali, they’re doing me a favour by squeezing me in today. My entire day is ruined, and the cold shoulder [ deliver to the carpet cleaners them selves after I” aited tour hours fnot 20 minutes) for them: to show up gives me no satisfaction whatsoever. Is it just me, or does this happen to other people too? No offense to charities, but they may just be the worst of the te me soliciting Lot. The ne at all hours, sell- ing children’s books, tickets to puppet shows, light bulbs and a} manner of miscellany tor supposedly excellent causes that neither [, nor anyone else TP know has ever heard of And by the time they're finished with me [ teel guilty enough so that Pve made another Wednesday, June 7, 2000 — Screening scheming telephone solicit donation, which naturally ensures that PH be getting another callin three months time for more money. But no more. The handy call display feature Pve signed up for allows me to sercen ay calls. 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