: ‘going tomorrow?”

Tired

_ From page 14

NEWS photo Cindy Goodman

MEMBERS OF the Korean National Adult Demonstration Team thrilled spectators during last
weekend's B.C. Provincial Taekwondo Championships at Capilano College.

“What in the world?” exclaimed /

the nun. The man enlightened her: -

©. “Here’s your two dollars back. ’

God's Will paid off at boxcars in
the fifth race. What have you got

A jockey had been killed in a
car crash and his agent was called

/ to the mortuary to identify the

body. He lifted the comer of the

first sheet and shook his head.
‘Then the second sheet. Another

shake of the head. The third sheet

and once more he shook his head.
“Yes,” he said, as he lifted the

comer of the fourth sheet. “This

has to be Joe. In death as in life —

never in the first three.” °. ;

. 1@@@ oat

‘This horseplayer had a dream

the night before: He was out there

‘on the dance floor, in top hat and

tails, doing his Fred Astaire rou-
;tine. In the morning, looking over
the day’s entries, he spotted it, in
the sixth race. At 100 to I, a nag
named Top Hat. If ever there was
an omen, this was it.

Twelve hours later he arrived
home, exhausted, slightly drunk
and broke. “It’s all gone,” he
croaked to his wife. “The car, the
house, our savings account.”

“Calm down, calm down,” she
said. “Tell me what happened.”
“What happened? What hap-
pened?” he sobbed. “Top Hat fin-
ished dead last.”

' “Yes, but who won?”

“Some bum named Chapeau.”

eos

Over in the UK, at Royal Ascot,
the trainer was holding up his hand

‘ toa horse’s nose just before the

race when the Duke of Montrose
walked by. It just happened that the
Duke was a steward and demanded
to know what the trainer was giv- _

b NADL SREEWAW
COASTAL PREMIER CUP
 PNALS FOR BOYS —

Town Gentre Stadium, Coquiciarn

SATURDAY, APRIL 15, 1995

9:00am
11:00am

Under-12 -Peace Arch United vs, North Delta United
Under-15. North Shore Selects vs. Fraser Valley Thunder

1:00pm Under-17 | Fraser Valley Force vs. Richmond United

3:COpm

Under-13 Metro-Ford Benfica vs. West Richmond Impact

SUNDAY, APRIL 16, 1995

9:00am
11:00am
1:00pm
3:00pm — Closing Cerer
ADMISSION
Acisits: $3.¢
wk f

Under-14° . North Shore Selects vs. Vancouver City F.C.
Undes-19 Vancouver City F.C. vs. Richmond United
_ Under-16 — Lower Island United vs. Richmond United
esentotion of Awards .

~,

a! we
Fommunity Spirit ze
aN en P bad

rims and tall tales

ing the horse.

“Sugar, your grace.” Said the
Duke. “Let me taste it.” He licked
his lips and told the trainer. “Good.
We can’t be too careful, you know.”

Moments later the trainer was
giving his instructions to the jock-
ey. “Hold him in the backstretch.
When you get to the turn, move

him up to about third. Then go like .

hell from the head of the stretch.

“And by the way, if anything
goes by you, don't worry. It'll be
the Duke of Montrose.”

eee

Parting piece of advice: People
who think they can beat the horses
should remember the old Irish
proverb: the only difference
between a champ and a chump is
the letter U. oot

Furst toe February, 1995

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