32 - Sunday, September 11, 1988 - North Shore News mo? Bn Ga yepodge effect DEAR MISS MANNERS — My husband and I are plann- ing to attend a ‘‘semiformal ball.’’ Please define the phrase ‘“semiformal attire’? for me. Is my husband’s suit ap- propriate? Is a short evening dress considered semiformal? Would a long, casual dress do? I enjoy dressing up but seldom get the opportunity. GENTLE READER — ‘‘Semiformal’’ means the hosts want to give a formal ball but are intimidated by people who say they hate formality, they don’t own evening clothes, formality is elitist, etc. They are therefore going to settle for a hodgepodge effect, believing it impossible to persuade everyone to dress properly. A ball ought to mean that gentlemen wear at least black tie, unless white tie is specified, and that ladies should wear ball dresses, which are long, wide, low-cut and anything but casual. Since you asked Miss Manners, she is going to tell you to dress proper- However, should you prefer to make less of an effort, you could seek a second opinion from your hosts or the host committee. They will undoubtedly reply wimpily, “Oh, anything you feel comfor- table in,’’ which authorizes you to year your tennis clothes if you ike. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I’m an older woman who moves about a good deal both socially and geographically. Were are three social problems J've never been able to solve satisfactorily: What should be done about name-droppers? These peopfe ar- rive at a gathering excited about having met some celebrity, imply- ing that nobody present would ever have an opportunity to meet such an exalted person. Or they drop the name of a place they imply is Srac EASE “Therapy Now Open at | #220-1940 Lonsdale Ave. North Van. 983-2046 too exotic, expensive or exclusive for us to hope to go there. What do I do if they are spenk- ing about an old friend, or a place I’ve often visited? If I speak up, they are irritated because I’ve taken the wind out of their sails. If I keep quiet, someone invariably brings out the facts later, and the situation seems worse. Since the primary obligation of any guest is to help the party be a pleasant one, what should I do? miss manners Judith Martin What do I do at a large round table, when the people on cach side of me get into prolonged conversa- tions with those on their other PET C D.O.N.A.T.E. — pretty kittens. They have had their flea baths and their coats are thick, soft and fluf- fy (in photo). Phone Doris Orr 987-9015. Also waiting for a home: big, almost Persian, beautiful cat — spayed and de-clawed; pair of snowy white kittens and many others; Lab; Husky; -Shephard; gold and white Collie; Toy Poodie; Peke X Cocker; Maltese Poodle; Angora rabbit. Please phone 987- sides? It hardly seems a polite time to catch up on my reading or cor- respondence. Finally, what should I do when, on jeaving a party, someone [ never met before announces loudly for all to hear, ‘‘T love you’’? GENTLE READER — Whew — this was a close one. Miss Manners was just about to burst out herself with an announcement that she loves you for wanting to spare the feelings of even name-droppers. Lest you either take Miss Man- ners literally or believe that she is telling a baldfaced lie, she will control herself. But do allow her to dismiss the last problem by ex- plaining that the comment is mere- ly an effusive way of saying, ‘‘I found you charming,’’ and that your reply is perfectly adequate. That name-droppers eventually get their comeuppance is in- evitable. The only choice is in how this is administered. By saying “Yes, isn’t he charming?” or “I’m so glad you like it — I have a small cottage there,’’ or at least warn them from further excesses. Dinner-party isolation is indeed awkward, and a justification for the unfortunately obsolescent custom of the hostess “turning the table’’ by speaking to the gentleman on one side of her for half the dinner and the other for the rest, thus creating a domino effect around the table. Without that, you must simply insist upon entering One conversa- tion or the other. This is done by leaning into one of those two conversations until you can catch enough of the drift to make a commenti. Failing that, you simply tap someone and say with a timid smile, ‘May I join in?”” NER 9015 or 988-5643. PETS LTD needs good homes for: p/b standard Poodle; p/b Irish Setter; p/b Bouvier; delightful mixed breed; large Shephard; large blk. Lab.; young Collie X; young Scottie X; cats and kittens of all ages and descriptions. Please cal! 988-7461 or 254-9788. Quality clothing and miscellany at our big Sept. 24 sale, West Van Communi- ty Centre. TRAINING All Glasses starting September 19th ® The most recent audio-visual methods in French ® Qualified French instructors * Regular morning and evening classes * Placement tests for non-beginners * Social and cultural activities © Income tax deductible fees ALLIANCE FRANCAISE West Vancouver Chapter Suite #310, 1425 Marine Drive, Village Square, West Vancouver Information 327-0201 Registration — Placement tests Wed. Sept. 14th, 5-7 p.m. Thurs, Sept. 15th, 5-7 p.m. Sat. Sept. 17th, 10-12 noon DRINKING WATER ON TAP’’ NSA Home Water Filtration System * De-chlorinates * Removes Sediment * Convenient counterton or 2 verton oF Cae wsihereed Sarees A under sink models For further information - in home demonstration Pacific Aqua Systems 986-6343 _ Distrikutorships available REGISTER NOW FOR CURLING * Leagues for all ages * Curling school Sept. 21, 27, 28, 29th * Registration information evening Sept. 12th * Call 987-PLAY for more information Get swept up in the action! 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