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CB8-Wednesday, June 18, 1980 - North Shore News |

Her sexual activity a
traumatic experience

QUESTION: I had a very
early and traumatic § in-
troduction to sexual activity
(when I was 11) and was
married before I was 20. Ai
my current ripe old age of
33, I look back on about 12
years of sexual disen-
chantment and boredom,
and, at times, revulsion.

those years, I have
settled into feeling that 1 am
stack with a sort of
inevitably disagreeable
mecessity to do my duty as a
wife. I have grudgingly
accepted that situation as my
lot. It seems to me that the
last six months or so have
started me thinking that I am
giussing out on a part of life

that fs extremely important
and which, properly
speaking, ought to be more
enjoyable than it has been. |
have no more yearning to
have a full sex life than |
have had for some time, but
I have become ifiterested in
whether it COULD become
the sort of joy for me that it
apparently i for many
people. Do you think thai
once sex has gone sour for
someone like me, it can
become enjoyable again?

STEW ART: You have asked
a complex question that calls
for more attenfion than it
can be given in the space we
have available, but 1 would

ce et ON RR EO REAP ESRI SES EET MER OL CANIN ELH STE A AI RTT TEE! BO ed PSY AC REO II EER LOTITO TF

hike to make reference toa
reaction I had to your letter.
In all tikeluihood the source
of your current’ disen-
chantment is not so much a
sexual matter as you are
making it. Your “very early
and traumatic introduction
to sexual activity”. at 11
years of age, would almost
certainly load you’ with
anxiety, bewilderment and
feelings of guilt, which, at
that age, you would hardly
be expected to handle well.
At best, we humans are nol
very good at understanding
our guilt feelings, let alone
handling them rewardingly.
What I am saying is that you
are probably not being

You and Your Stars

FROM PAGE C3

deplete your emotional
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Auly 24

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December 22
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bothered

with a “sex
problem” as much as you are
being plagued with feelings
of unworthiness or = in-
ferionty. You were jolted
into confusion about what it
is to be a human being who
has feelings of worth and
dignity and freedom. That
experience is still wide open
for you and right now, at age
33, you are seeing signs that

\ padres>

\ Cily

suggest you are ready for it.
Don't try to solve your

“sex problem”, but rather

get some help in finding your

own identify and your own

inner worth. You have a full
hfe coming to you, you

deserve it and it will be yours
if you really want it. There 1s
absolutely no need for you to
lug around that load of guilt
and that feeling of being only

VANC(

SAAT NAR Te Om ate ve

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached ai 261-6242
forappomiments for individual, family or group counselling His new
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conventence of North Shore residents

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