32 - Sunday, February 25, 1990 - North Shore News

H, ding )

BRIDES-TO-BE had lots to
see during Park Royal's re-
cent one-stop shopping
wedding showcase. Fash-
ions, furnishings, china,
food and stationery in Vic-
tosian, country and nautical
themes were shown over the
weekend, which was topped
off by 2a bridal fashion
show. Park Royal's market-
ing coordinator, Kelly
Millin, shows off a pown
from the Victorian display.

Couples must share more than dreams

EVERY DAY | work with
couples whose marriages
are terminating. My advice
is that couples share more
than dreams — it is impor-
tant for them to share some
pragmatic reality as well.

1 think that if the following three
points were kept in mind by peo-
ple marrying, the resulting union
would have a far better chance of
success than the current marriage
success rate.

Firstly, the couple should ex-
plore and discuss the property
which they are bringing into the
marriage or which they may ac-
quire during the marriage. These
include things like pension plans,
RRSPs, as well as houses, cars and
inheritances.

One of the main causes of dif-
ficulties is that couples entering
marriage have differing assump-
tions as to how these items will be
dealt with, both during the mar-
riage and in the event of a separa-
tion. One way for a couple about
to marry to have similar assump-
tions is for them to sign a marriage
contract.

Secondly, learn to celebrate the
differences in each other. The
characteristics of your spouse
which you find exciting and which
tead to courtship, love and mar-
riage, are those very same charac-
teristics which, over time, may
drive you crazy. It is important to
develop ways of recognizing and
respecting those differences.

Thirdly, learn to manage conflict
in your marriage. Since conflict is
an inevitable part of an intense
relationship like marriage, it must
be managed carefully, so that ..
produces positive results, not
destruction.

Marriage preparation courses
and conflict resolution courses in
marriage are available throughout
the Vancouver area.

(Ed. note: North Shore Family
Services, a member of the United
Way, offers marriage preparation
courses in conjunction with North
Shore Continuing Education. The

If couples crossing the threshold
into married life could follow the
previous three suggestions theis
chances of a successful marriage
would be significantly increased.

Sharing dreams is considered
romantic. Making practical steps at
the threshold of marriage is con-
sidered unromantic. It is smart to
take them, however. Staggering
modern divorce rates (50 per cent
of first marriages, 60 per cent of
second marriages, and 80 per cent
of third marriages) suggest the
necessity of couples taking steps to
improve their chances when

next series starts on April 23, and crossing the threshold.
tuns for four Monday evenings.

The cost is $60/couple. For more — Douglas R. Chalke
information call 988-5281.) Barrister and Solicitor

GARDEN WEDDINGS:

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986-5651

ATTENTION:
BRIDES TOC BE
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