SOMETIMES a movie tells us something about ourselves, and the hilarious Crocodile Dundee himself is the kind of Australian a jot of Avsiancns pretend to be and mast woula like to be. He has the twang of the outback and moves lazily ex- cept when he wants to move quickly. He is no Rambo, but never comes off second best. Not with crocs, not with crazy hunt- ers, not with muggers and not with women. He may be a hick, but nothing impresses him too much. His girl friend’s rich daddy may have a big house and chauffeur, but to Dundee he’s just one of the boys. Her editor and prospective hus- band is taken in stride, too, even though he is a city-smart slicker. So Dundee gets the girl. The plot of Crocodile Dundee could have been concocted by any teenager. There’s this beautiful New York girl reporter on assignment Down Under, you see. She hears about the fabulous fellow up in Queensland who had his leg chewed off by a croc but still managed to crawl ‘‘hundreds of miles’? through snake-infested territory. So she persuades New York to let her cover the story. The leg part was just a bunch of beautiful outback bull, After all, you can’t have a hero hopp- ing around like Long John Silver, even if he is a bit of a pirate and Dundee is such a movie. talks as if he'd just jumped off a convict ship. As Dundee tells the lovely lass, the croc's effort was “‘yust a fove bite’, As a consola- tion prize, he shows her his scars. The story itself doesn't matter. It’s the trimmings that count. So I can tell you that after saving the lady's life — a nasty old croc wanted her for lunch, too, when she stepped into man’s territory — Dundee ends up in New York where he is paraded as a curiosi- ty, there not being many real men left in that burg. He knows what the score is, in a sort of way, but isn’t advanced enough to know what a bidet is for. Are there muggers around? No need to worry when Dundee is around too. “Just a couple of kids out for a bit of fun,” he tells the girl reporter as he scares the baddies off into the night. Figu- ratively, he sends everyene ofi into the night. “*Yeh,’"’ says Dundee when daddy thanks him for having saved his daughter’s life. ‘‘Well, buy me a pint of cold beer some time and we'll call it quits.”’ i'd bet there's no one in the Australian outback who even remotely resembles Dundee. He’s a myth figure but, unlike Rambo, a credible one, so the men who see the movie like him because Ski theft battled the Mount Seymour Ski area engraving skis. A police spokesman said engrav- ing the driver’s licence number on ski equipment has proven to be a AS SKI thefts continue to be reported to the North Vancouver RCMP, the detachment’s auxiliary constables plan to old a Ski Watch event to try and prevent the crime. This Sunday, Jan. 18 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. members will be in deterrent to thieves and aids police in identifying stolen proper- ty. "HUMBERSTON EDWARDS ‘REPRESENTING fine ant FOREST INTERIOR 1942 EMILY CARR OIL ON PAPER FOLL PROVENANCE AVAILABLE ROBERT GENN JACK HAMBLETON PETER ROBINSON KARL WOOD ALLAN EDWARDS AND OTHER FINE ARTISTS | 1360 MARINE DRIVE, WEST VANCOUVER, B.C. TELEPHONE (604) 922-7934 ose len eee | pat Ag atk parton Ste ene ethl a Reet en ote a ar A aaa he’s the way they secretly see themselves. And the women like him because he’s the way they'd like their men to be. You know, Protective. Rarely af a loss. Ex- cept with bidets and things, Old- fashioned, in Fact. Which indicates, 1 think, that we dan't yet see day care and the ways of the limp wrist as how things should be. We may get the state to smother us, but we yearn for something else, In Walkabout Creek, where Dundee comes from, the only state is a state of confusion. Plus beer and battles. The Australians have always been seen as a free-wheeling, devil-may-care lot. And some of them are. But there's always been an element of myth in that im- age, too, and today the myth is more mythical than ever because Australia is plagued by all the left-liberal claptrap and pan- sydom that plagues the U.S. and Canada. There, as here, the clamor is for rights for homos, rights for women, and rights for aborigi- nes, alcoholics and Aids-suf- ferers. There is kudos for every candy-ass cause you can think of and some causes that don’t even bear thinking about. In business as well as the bars, the fighter is out of fashion. Australia has been homogenized along with the rest of us. Gordon Gibson is dead. But into this pot of purity shambles the wonderful Dundec. Doesn’t he have anything to say about the nuclear menace, native rights, and such-like, the beautiful girl asks him in the wilderness of Queensland? **Yeh, well, it’s like this,’’ he | replies in his quiet drawl. ‘‘That rock over there is probably six | hundred million years old. So what's the point in arguin’ about who owns it?’’ <> D OS Yes aN a Sr 9 ~ Friday, January 16, 1987 - North Shore News NV boathouse meeting called A PUBLIC MEETING will be held Saturday, Jan. 17 to discuss the proposed small boat storage facility in Deep Cove. The meeting will be held at 2 p.m. at the Deep Cove Stage, at 2151 Panorama Drive, An open house will first be held at the Deep Cove Boathouse from Ito2p.m. An outline of building configuration will be located on site in Deep Cove Panorama Park. For further information call 987-7131, local 325. the proposed Dr. Shane B. Barclay Physician & Surgeon Wishes to announce the opening of his office of general practice at #302 - 123 E. 15th North Vancouver, B.C. V7L 2P7 987-5250 Frod Woltas ARAN ELECTRONIC ANALYSIS BRAKE & CLUTCH 4 Gyl. Tune-Up Only : 6 Cyl. Tune-Up Only and have them Arranged Purchase one of our Vases at 20% off or Bring in your own vase Hurry Offer ends Jan. 31 for quality, selection and service Open 7 days a week 1821 Marine Dr, West Vancouver 922-4171 922-3968