A8& - Wednesday. October 24, 1984 - North Shore News Joyboy surpasses himself! T’S ABOUT TIME that the Bad News got a good kick where it hurts most. Don't ask me who will do i. Nothing that appears in this space will change anything. Perhaps it would help if we took to sticking pins into dolls. All ET know 4s that the Bad News News pro- vides bad news above and beyond the call of duty. The Bad News News, my friends, as The Sun. The funeral parlor paper of Gran- ville Street, editor Mr Joyboy. “The funeral parlor paper of Granville Street.’”’ ’ Po) Day after day, gaseous Sunspot headlines flare up from the Bad News News But it excelled itself a few days ago with this one: -‘*Econony heading’ for hell’’, it read. There followed a long bad news report that had no more substance to it than a dandelion puffball. The item was exquisite in ws agony, if you hke pain, and was based tn part on the predictions of one Stanley Webb, a Vancouver accoun- tant According to good old Stan, economic fire and brimstone lurk in walt Another expert in the art of the economic occult is Mr Roman FEvancic who, tt seem- ed, thought the only way to avoid the handbasket was to get some tax breaks. The Bad News News also dredged up a “bankruptey expert’? who quoth: “tCs going to be another tough winter."’ But 1 was dear Mr. Evan- cic who provided the stuff of the headline “AL that (a list of bad news) lead us to believe thal were heading for hell in a handbasket,’’ said Evaneie, whom | would not employ to make people laugh on a pub night. The story assured us that businessmen are moving capital out of B.C. because of the provincee’s “‘tax regime’’. It may be so. But saying so does not make It so, and our trio of pro.- gnosticators declined to name anyone who had = actually moved his dough out. But Doug's quarrel is) not with these humorists It os with the Bad News News, which chooses to pul teacup readings of this sort at the get this Doug Collins | top of the front page. Accountants are no more able to predict the future than are gypsies, tarot card experts, psychics or cardsharpers Some of them, as I've heard, even make mistakes in thetr own income tax, just Inke the rest of us In this instance, the Bad News News was to blame not only tor scattering dandelion flutt, but for contradicting self, because the same ex- perts were quoted much later in the story as saving that the El mailbox (> <| Doug an infallible prophet? Dear Editor Doug Collins takes on the appearance of a saint when his supporters air their views Does such reasoning come from spending a lifetime on the North Shore of are there other factors presene? The clammed strong sup porlof his views ts ludicrous his chome of electoral Can Mattaged ono more than to beat the Rhinos bya hain, | dhdate Salute such demonstrated strength wath a hearty (OO) WOW! é bed g A att, q Z G jad ae Ky. eur. y. Serv eer i } “y 7 ay lminigiants become Cana diars, ask Doug, he knows, and much as anyone respects a man’s military history in defence ot his know ot country. | no ane whe has a monopoly on such a tistors or became an intallible pro phet atterwards Trade unions are a new ox perenne for tammy iim mipeamts, a correspondent recently pointed our that a touch blamed Country loses fewer rian hours to strikes than BoC 0 the true siluation appears fo be oof a nature “ ona’ Ce RX SRN stags, Souee cS Hi » which makes the vocal locals feel wo osafer to bark up the wrong tree Many immigrants and new € anadians have tirst hand ex- perience of totalitarian goxyernments and have withessed the horrors of racial intolerance, they have much to teach rt this country Is CoO remain Cruly democratic and they contribute a great deal towards the lomy stan ding ideals ot © anada Peter du Plessis North Vancouver Nan: S30 A eed NA ARREST ON a) ae Hels eo dum i US recovery will eventually spill over into B.C., that tn- terest rates will keep talling, and that Fapo 86 will boost eCONOMIc acuivily The headline could therefore just as easily have read: “Economy not heading tor helt."’ Never mind about what ac- countants predict, Joyboy Just give us the news. Ac- countants can be put between the truss ads, along with the horoscopes and Ann Landers. The Bad News News was at it again the very next day. Sniffing gloom as keenly as a dog sniffs posts, 1t had sent a reporter down to Peachland so that we could read — also on the front page: “Sull reeling from the last shutdown, families face another bleak winter.’ Any day now, Joyboy will be reporting on the foods r 4 that haven’t yet haprcned on the North Shofé.7 Come to see us, Our Fall line is in we ear e Fitness wear e Aerobic Outfits and accessones e Reebok aerobic shoes (white blue, black & pink) #teatner weight lifting gloves and belts tor men & women FAIR PRICES OPEN SUNDAYS 10:30-4 PM *Personal Service *Special orders upon request Now... 3 free classes at any Ron Zalko Workout location on every purchase over $20.00 ($18.00 vaine) HURRY... 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