COPENHAGEN — The
Danes pride themselves on a
peculiar form of freedom.

Visiting this romantic, historic
capital on a Sunday morning of a
holiday weekend, one can only
surmise that freedom means quan-
tities of litter rivalled only by ur-
ban garbage dumps, and record-
setting standards of public intox-
ication.

The filth on the town hall square
was so thick in places it was like
walking through eight inches of
snow.

Thousands of young peorle,
faces and hair gaily painted either
as a fashion symbol of the times or
for the special weekend carnival,
paraded around in a zombie state.
Many of them towed cases of
Tuborg beer along with them, fre-
quently stopping to sell bottles to
any and all comers.

Nearby, the fabled Tivoli was
clean and sedate: just as boring as
it is attractive.

With the seven years of study
leading to Vancouver's Expo still
fresh in my memory, it was pain-
fully apparent that the Danes have
not kept pace with the times.

Tivoli Gardens, were it opened
today for the first time anywhere
in the world, would be a charming
curiosity and a business bust.
Tourists flock to it, but there is not
one single aspect of the attraction
that is not surpassed just about ev-
erywhere else in the world.

The amusement park is cute but
pedestrian. The grounds are no
more than a 10-minute walk.

While promoters proudly display
a variety of bandstands and a
schedule of planned events, hours
go by where not a note of music is
heard anywhere on the site.

One Expo lesson was that some-
thing must be happening at all
times: marching bands, mimes,
magicians, face painting, wander-
ing minstrels, clowns and so on —
not just on a central stage, but
along every walkway.

One advertising contract with
exclusive merchandising attached,
with a firm like Kodak or Coca-
Cola would finance a year of
entertainment.

Those who have not visited
Tivoli may think this idea is too
commercial. But tasteful signs by a
multi-national would improve the
ambience over the garish, hand-
painted advertising facades that
now dominate parts of the

‘ounds.

“Wonderful, wonderful
Copenhagen,”’ the song goes.
Perhaps the writer was awash with
Tuborg beer.

wee

Watching Johnny Carson a few
weeks ago, the guest was a 100-
year-old character, a long-retired
medical doctor from the U.S.
Midwest. After he told Johnny he
had been married 68 years before
his wife died, the incredulous host
asked how such marital success
could be achieved. The crusty old
gent replied: ‘Well, first you got
to get 2 good woman. And she’s
got to put up with you.”’

Alas, this trip, my Patricia has
more than the usual to “‘put up
with.’’ Along with us is a retired
RCMP sergeant who owns a large
private security firm. As we ap-
proached Denmark, Preston of the
Mounted spent a good deal of time
explaining to her where the First
World War naval Armageddon —
The Battle of Jutland — took
place, and where, during the last
war, the battleship Bismarck tried
to break out in a run for freedom.

My contribution was a detailed
conversation about the stifling so-
cialism of Scandinavia and, despite

a Danish government that calls
itself Conservative, a heritage of
youthful lethargy. All these coun-
tries are rapidly sinking from the
list of leading nations.

This conversation was diverted
by a passing waterfront vision: the
forlorn blackened superstructure
of Scandinavian Sun, the ferry that
became a killing inferno not many
months ago.

The largest ferries in the world
regularly sail these waters, but this
one company — for no apparent
reason — has been jinxed for
years. They have had numerous
accidents. A previous ship, dam-
aged in a Florida grounding,
caught fire in drydock and was
destroyed.

Stan McDonald of Seattle,
founder of Princess Cruises,
returned to the industry a few
years ago by buying a ship from
this troubled company.

The former Scandinavian Sun
became Sun Dzncer and proceeded
to sink during its first voyage to
Alaska. Undeterred, McDonald
had more luck by buying Scan-
dinavia from the same firm. Star
Dancer continues to cruise for
another owner.

As the fire-scorched bridge of
the ferry disappeared from view,
Sgt. Preston was back into the act.
After learning that our hired driver
had been in the Danish under-
ground during the war, we
detoured to a building that seemed
to me to be occupied by Shell Oil.

To them, it was the former
Gestapo headquarters and we
digressed through a long disserta-
tion about the accuracy of Mos-
quito bombers as they devastated
this facility over 45 years ago.

I can’t understand why Patricia
sometimes chooses to nap while
these fascinating tours are under
way.

nee

T first boarded P&O’s most ex-
pensive toy, Royal Princess, from
a pilot boat in the middle of Juan
de Fuca Strait.

As the small boat clanged
against the enormous bulk of this
45,000-ton ship, struggling with
choppy water, I had to plan my
leap to a rope ladder, which was
hanging from a cargo door.

Safely wrestled aboard by then
Chief Officer Bernie Warner, my
somewhat dazed mind asked:
“What ...no photographer at this
entrance?’’ Warner escorted me up
12 decks and the length of a foot-
ball field to see the Master, Capt.
Jotn Young, who had escorted
Princess Diana a few months
earlier when she christened his
ship.

That was five years ago. Both
Young and Warner have served on
other ships during the interim, but
they were both aboard a week ago
when we embarked at Tilbury on
the Thames estuary. Warner is
now Deputy Captain.

Within the North American
fraternity of cruise passengers,
John Young’s sense of humor is
legendary. It was good this week to
hear his jokes once again — even
the old ones.

.As he welcomed his new passen-
gers, he apologized for beginning
the cruise with a life-jacket drill,
not the sort of activity best suited
to put guests at ease. He said his
ship has a rule that, in the event of
emergency, women and children
get off first.

“*That’s why, if you visit my
cabin, you'll see a grey wig — a
natty little number — and an at-
tractive nightgown hanging on the
hook behind the door.”

From page 4
the Upper Levels Highway, but is
accessible only by travelling
through part of the British Proper-
ties.

Johnson also said the area al-
ready accommodates its fair share
of community facilities, such as
the Capilano View Cemetery.

“This is also an_ established
neighborhood unsuited to a seniors
residence,’’ he added.

But church representatives em-
phasized the need for a_ public
hearing to discuss the proposal.

“We need the opportunity to
point out some of the benefits to
the community of this facility’
said David Gow.

According to Gow, the West
Vancouver Baptist Church already

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