mH ‘QUESTION: I am awfully s about an attitude | “fave that is becoming, or already Is, quite obsessive. | ‘simply can't stand people ‘who give the impression that “fhey are right and no one -who is different in their ‘opinions or their way of life \or their beliefs can be anything but dead wrong. It fon't thac Io am just un- comfortable with them, or dislike them. It is far more than that. They make me sick. They frighten me. They ‘allow so little hope. I am “worrled about my attitude seeming to be strengthening rather than improving. I don't like the way | am, but believe me, that’s the way I am. What goes on in me? and what can I do about it? STEWART: Perhaps you have intuitively sensed, as I have, that people who choose to live in the ways you have described, are perhaps the most dangerous of human beings. You have said it in a very telling way in writing, “they allow so little hope”. However, you may keep in mind that people who talk and act as though they have the final word, don’t. No ome, in fact, “allows” the rest of us to have hope. Hope is ours. It is not assigned to us. Too many of us altogether are affected by the closed cocksure mind of others. We must keep in mind _ that cocksure minds are rarely ever cocksure, but only present that illusion. They are quite likely to be as the North residents Shore 988-1220 ENERGY Insulate with Thermasuede Drapery Lining providing frightened and bewildered as the mousiest of us. You know the fellow who says things like, “It was Tuesday. Yes, I'm SURE it was Tuesday. Yes, there’s no doubt about it, I am positive it was Tuesday.” Well, what he is saying in a good clear t way is that he doesn’t know whether it was Tuesday or Wednesday or Doomsday, but that he has a great need to appear “right” and sure. Such a man is dangerous only because we choose to be intimidated by him. If you can see his fears, you'll be dangerous type of person able to love him and give him his time for growing toward his REAL self- assurance. Obsessive dislike for a person with those needs does not look good on you. Give yourself a little time to get laid back. Cli - Wednesday, January 20, 1982 - North Shore News ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. Hubby says she’s boring QUESTION: My husband has decided I am boring. He says so in so many words and expresses the wish I'd get out of his life. I love him dearly and am terribly hart over his indictment. What can I do? STEWART: You may not feel that you are boring, but the fact of the matter is that you ARE boring, or, he has some reason for telling you you are. If you KNOW you are boring, be grateful to him for letting you know it shows! 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