4 - Friday, March 29, 1991 - North Shore News Suspender sentence: the new Ontario silliness HAVING GROWN up in, and eventually out of, the On- tario of Leslie Miscampbell Frost and John Robarts, it isa little nard for me to think of Ontario as the Silly Province. However, British Columbia can’: expect to keep the title for- ever. Sure, it’s the champ. But it’s getting to be an old champ. It can’t wear the clown’s suit in- definitely. Yes, British Columbians, we're just going to have to accept the inevitable: our province may soon relinquish its role of the Whoopee Cushion of Canada. Still, it’s a bit of a shock. We've always figured the top challengers were Alberta, maybe Newfoundland. But with all the smart people insisting that the next premier will be Good Grey Mike Harcourt, chairman of the board of the New Democratic Party — notice how all the NDP males within the camera's eye were dressed in Sincere Suits of darkest businessmen’s blue when B.C.’s first televised legislative session began a couple of weeks ago — it’s starting to look as if Ontario may sneak up on the inside and seize the cap-and-bells. Now, let’s be fair. Bob Rae —- Premier Bob Rae, as he’s been since he alarmed himself by winning the Ontario general election last September — is a smart man, probably a good man. And I do not hold with the journalistic impulse to mock our top elected leaders merely because they are our leaders. Though I never cease to be amazed that they West Van smokers to butt out April 1st SMOKERS IN West Vancouver will be required to butt out in public places and most private businesses as of April 1. By Elizabeth Collings News Reporter The municipality is the last of the three North Shore municipalities to enact a bylaw that strictly restricts smoking ia public areas. North Vancouver City and District passed sinfiilar bylaws in September 1987 and September 1989 respectively, while West Vancouver adopted the bylaw in February 1990. “The North Shore now is com- pletety covered by smoking bylaws,”’ said Bill Kimmet, direc- tor of environmental health at North Shore Health. Kimmett and his public health inspectors are charged with ensur- ing compliance with the new bylaw. Clean Indoor Air and Smoking Regulations Bylaw 3540 bans smoking in West Vancouver municipal buildings and in public access areas such as_ elevators, escalators, stairways, reception areas, taxis, and near service queues. Restaurants with 30 seats or more are now required to reserve 50 per cent of their seats for non-smokers and ensure that smoke does aot waft into non- smoking areas. The 1984 smoking bylaw preceding the new bylaw allowed restaurants to opt out of having a non-smoking section. Private businesses will also be affected by the new bylaw. Kimmett said the bylaw pro- hibits’ smoking in private workplace areas where the public or non-smoking eniployees may gain access. Smoking is only per- mitted in an area where non- smokers do not need access. Nightclubs, pubs and bars are See Editorial: 6 excluded from the bylaw. The maximum fine for violating the new smoking legislation is $2,000. If found guilty in court, business operators can be fined an additional $50 each day until their business complies with the bylaw, Kimmett said. Health inspectors will check for compliance during regular inspec- tions and will also investigate complaints. Kimmett is asking people with concerns or complaints about non-compliance with the bylaw to call him at 983-6780. Sexual harassment story clarified IN THE March 6 North Shore News, the newspaper accurately reported the outcome of a B.C. Council of Human Rights hearing . in which owners/operators of Un- cle Sam’s Restaurant were ordered to compensate a female assistant manager for sexual harassment. _, The locatica of the incident was identified as ‘‘a back office of the former Sirloiner restaurant.’’ The Sirloiner restaurant chain PROTECT YOUR LUNGS DON’T SMOKE f Beitih Columbia Lung Association was mentioned to assist News readers to identify the location of the restaurant at issue. As reported, the incident occurred at Uncle Sam’s. The Sirloiner restau- rant chain wishes to emphasize that The Sirloiner had no connec- tion with the incident. The Sirloiner restaurant had once oc- cupied the location in the Capilano Mall that was occupied by Uncle Sam’s at the time of the incident. CORRECTION NOTICE The ad which appeared on page 60 of the Wed., March 27, 1991 issue of the paper for House of Fabrics should have read NOTIONS DEP'T: Zippers, Gutermann Thread and Scissors all % OFF regular prices. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused! Trevor Lautens GARDEN OF BIASES want to lead such a self-centred, grumbling, grasping, insatiable rabble like us — which makes me think that they can‘t be so in- telligent after all. But let us move on, Mr. Rae recently put in a strong bid to stake Ontario’s claim as the Silly Province by firing a cabinet minister named Peter Kormos. And what was Mr. Kormos’ scarlet sin? As a stuffy editorial writer in the stuffy Globe & Mail stuffily put it (just because it’s stuffy doesn’t make Ontario any less sil- ly — in fact, the pair are often running mates in the same two- seat riding): “(A day after announcing that he would write tough guidelines to banish sexism from beer and li- quor advertising, Mr. Kormos ap- peared as the Sunshine Boy in the Toronto Sun, a tabloid’? — yes, that word’s a signal that alerts the ‘BLOUSES: sharp reader to get ready for SUPERSTUFFY! — ‘whose daily diet of female and male pinups is often described as sexist.” Oooocooh. How awful. How perfectly dreadful. It’s a wonder that everybody in good old bluestocking Ontario didn’t drop dead out of sheer mortificatior.. But here is the wonderful thing: Being a word man, only later did I see the erotically arousing, lubricious, sexually explicit, and — let's not mince words — just plain horny photo of Mr. Kormos that caused tie ministerial crisis. It revealed an otherwise fully clothed male who had shed his suit jacket and revealed his suspenders. For once in my long and blameless life, | regretted that I am too fat to double up with laughter. But, as Lord Byron noted, laughter tends to make us doubly serious thereafter. As Geoffrey Stevens reported from Toronto in his Vancouver Sun column, the serious underly- ing thing is that Mr. Kormos wasn't a favorite of Rae’s 12 women cabinet ministers. Bit of a maverick — and what’s a maver- ick if not a male horse? Someone also found that one of his advisers had once been con- victed of wife-beating. Mr. Kormos, by the way, had championed some perfectly serious ideas, notably about auto in- surance. So he wasn’t just a pretty suspender. But, under the predictable pressure of the feminists and those who snoop around for sexism ev- $4. erywhere, he got the chop. And what added fun it was to listen to the announcement by the normally articulate Bob Rae — “articulate’’ is one of the buzz words of journalists and the kind of trendy who talks about ‘‘rela- tionships’’ and ‘‘smoke-free en- vironments.”’ I heard the voice clip on CBC radio of Mr. Pae uttering the fateful words. It began with the longest collec- tion of confused and, I strongly suspect, erabarrassed ers, uhs, ums and ahs that I’ve ever heard. Might have set a Canadian record. Rae sounded as if he was trying to speak a foreign language. Finally, he got his tongue in gear and pronounced sentence on Mr. Kormos — banishment from cabinet. I expect a lot more of this fash- ionable nonsense from the Ontario government — and (a surefire prediction) from any future Har- court government. Meanwhile, though, I might as well enjoy my own new-found sexiness. You see, I’m one of the vanishing breed of suspender- wearers. And I’ve always thought that they’re about as sexy as an old cardigan with leather patches sewn into the elbows. Now it turns out that they’re more or less secondary sexual characteristics like the male beard. Think I°i] just wander through the office, casually snapping my suspenders. God only knows what ‘uncontrcllable passions I'll arouse. Might have nubile young bodies throwing themselves at my feet from all directions. a er. i