QUESTION: Have you ever ‘got yourself backed off into a corner and felt you HAD to get out and that there was no way? I made a bad choice a few months ago and now it looks like Pll have to pay for for it. I’ve come to see ‘that the specific dcisks of my boner do not really matter. The question : Pm asking fs, what can a guy do when he has made a Costly, unwise a ‘choice? STEWART: I can see. your. point about the details of your ‘situation not being of vital importance, and yet, I find myself forced into rather Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart does private counsel- ling as well as a great deal of greup werk, He can he contacted at 261-6242. far information and appointments. Letters are always welcome. | vague . theory in trying to formulate an answer to your query. You say, ‘‘There’s no way of my. doing anything but living with my stupidity.. O.K., let’s start there. If that i is true, you are still left believe you can find a way to JMS we wireewee awwawsas into. opportunity. You have options, even now. I think of a few, even without a knowledge of your circum- stances. For es example, | one to sit around and. mope; another is to get with people and talk about ‘‘Poor Me’’; another is to run away; another is never again to talk. ahout or think | about your QUESTION: You answered a letter a month ago about a- fellow you theught was ‘trying to do two things at once. That’s what I’m doing I guess. I’m 15 and what Pm trying to do is make all the guys think I am not being bossed by my parents. But, at the very same time I **bad choice’’, but instead, to concentrate on the fact that you now have an opporiunity - to make a NEW choice; still another is to enter into a period of preparation ‘of your whole self for what lies ahead it for a long leng time. ’'m with some options about how (like improving your health, hooked. There’s no way of you will live with it. Even your ability to relax, your my doing anything but living though the future looks black prayer life, your love life, with my stupidity and paying to you right now, I firmly your acquaintance with your Higher Self, the quality of your fun. vour ahility to quit. Week SUEESY Jv wun Sas Asad y Tuy wy eae wallowing in what you call your stupidity etc. etc.) It’s a new day! Start making your new choices, wnburdened by the load of negativity you are lugging around. You need all the energy available to you, and that is a lot of available energy! It’s yours to cash into new, vibrant living, things are in opposition to each other. Two things you CAN do at the same time are: Have your guys as friends and have your parents as friends. You can do it, but where it. is hard is at that place where you are phoney - with either one. I'll bet my bottom dollar. that most of oo @ @ @ ive ry eanggegaggaanaaa Af weiss reed aver SRIMAM AM ss yuu weww wwe weupwss wee ahalan hase. wesvive B BAeamens o SOGs Wuuppey ou 1449 Charlotte Rd. North Van 986-1531. thia ‘w]e ru go you csuld save S14. UV UIs week. Take advantage of them. They represent bonafide offers by the , merchants, who are willing to make a littlo extra sacrifice to introduce — you to their products and services. B Simply clip the coupons and present them to the Bin morun Berne afl Laas ba 1-8 45 co5 them—and G tors ths eee Gais. HIG 1 US HiGU tS SSS Wisiti—- AiG Grau oO ES eaa ua ton yv“s page 15- July 6, 1977 - North Shore News -_maem mm abt. EE _ ae es —4cyl. reg. $29.95 6 cyl. reg. $32.95 & cyi. reg. $34.95 paris extra Limit 1 Coupon Per Customer Expires July 13/77 fe & _ ThAme Cov > g WANT to be bussed by th j i Haron Me NORT pnt © hos y tiem. the guys feel just like you do! WORTH Well - I don’t really meam I They’d love to be close to | want tobe BOSSED by them, their parents and are afraid AG a Waal es be on their. side . « IT want te have them fer friends. What I really want is to love them and Ict them — know it and let them know I want them to love me, too. I'd like to do things with them aud everything. I really like my mom. and dad bat. - gosh if I say that or act like | that with the fellows I go with they'll think I'ma crazy. They think £¢’s real square to like. your parents. I guess I'll just — have to choose whether I want my friends or my parents. You think I can’t do two things at once, so which youll laugh at them because they are square. What’s bugging you most is that you | are being phoney at home and with the fellows. You’d probably find it -easier to start being on the level at home. Why not tell your folks that you love them and want to be close to them but that it - is hard for you because of the funny ‘‘peer pressure’’ thing that is such a heavy on you. They may be able to help you: be more independent of them - - than you have been once they are put at ease about you loving them and needing ” This coupon valid on THIS COUPON | The purchase of macrame Mail - th t HAYDEN ; ; : ‘ STEWART. c/o. the North Hould Ido? them. ee home . Plant Hangers &. Wall dale, Morin Vow 02-1438 Lons- STEWART: I didn’t say you AND with your friends. Cool Hangings. Regular Price NTN can’t do two things at once.. it and be your REAL SELF at Le ala But it’s HARD to'do two things at once if those two home and with the gang. It will work. Limit 1 coupon per customer Expires July 13/77 f | WORTH ~ cog twee Pay Rae ae IMAGES GIESN plants tic 3063 Lonsdale Avenue 984-9814 just above Queens Ad.) Limit 7 coupon por customer ‘Can contro! "$6 Wk QUESTION: Well - here’s another letter about booz- ing. My wife fs fanatical about me drinking and keeps you’ve given me. First, you can get her to quit nagging by giving her no reason to do ‘so. That should be easy for 2 y not?! thod, but she’s minding her. own business, just as you are using an ineffective method while you are minding your Expires July 13/77 A nagging me about going out you because you feel sure own business) » a Bieweoronal Pp j THIS COUPON for a-few drinks after work, you can control your drink- ry caning & Pressing. WORTH ij What's with her anyway? I ing. Second, a straight Alterations or Repairs KNOW I can contre] my dvinking. She says the Kids are being upset by my drinking and that’s a lot of baloney. How in hell can I get her to quit nagging and mind her own business? STEWART: Two questions Walk alone QUESTION: Sunday I took you up on your plug for SOLITUDE and QUIET and belleve me you were right! I’ ve always felt sort. of incomplete and sad if 1 didn’t have a fow people around me and something to do with ‘thom. But Sunday I went all alone Into Lighthouse Park during the first part of the morning. Once in 2 while I saw other people m candpr- Ing around and cccasfonaly heard ihe treble calling or answer to how to get her to ‘‘mind her own business”’ harder because she probably feels she is doing that. You see, she is unhappy, or afraid, or resentful of. your behaviour and is trying to do something about it. Isn’t that “HER business? (She may be utilizing an ineffective me- You asked a straight question about two things you want done. So much depends on how. much you want them done. If you really want those two things done, your answer lies in your own words: ‘I KNOW I can control my drinking’’. Why _ not? brought self- discovery - laughing of. little children, but I kept alone and enjoyed it immensely. I heard birds like I never heard them bofore and I saw flowers and trees and rocks and the water in a different way eltogethor because I aidn’t feel any need to comment about thom to. somoone else. And the best thing of all was that I get acquainted with mo and my interests etc. Once, I sat on a rock ‘and actually caught better | myselt thinking about how i fit In to everything around mo and I felt real good about it. It was a very worthwhile ‘adventure with myself. Just thought I’d tell ydu about It - and of course, your readors. STEWART: Strangely enough, that sort of. exper- | ience seems to add to my humility and also. my self- ‘confidence, both at the same titne! So glad you ‘went out with yuu, | 922-4811 CARLTON'S CLEANING CAROUSEL This coupon valid on a minimum $5.00 order. 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