48 - Wednesday, September 15,

Q. MY HUSBAND has had
two affairs and ['m afraid
he’s having another.

He denies this is true. However,
he denied the others until } caught
him in the act. Each time I begged
him to teil me the treth. And he
lied. Not only did he Jie. he ac-
cused me of being crazy and
paranoid.

Fhen, after the second affair,
he told me ii was my fault he had
to do things this way. He says I
have denied him the right to have
an occasional outside ‘‘sexual liai-
son*’ which he needs to keep uur
married sex life interesting.

Furthermore, fhe says all men
need to play around occasionally
if they are going to maintain their
stamina in the marital bed. Is that
true?

A. No, it is not! Tell him, ‘Cut
it out or get out!’ If you have the
feeling that he’s having another
affair, you are probably right.
You should not have to spy on
him to get the truth.

Sit him down and say, ‘‘l know
it’s happening, and I want it to
stop.”’ He is subjecting you to the
possibility of contracting a sexual-
ly transmitted disease.

His thinking does not fit into
the realities of our present society.
Maybe a hundred years ago a man
felt he had to have his “harlots,**
but today he can have exciting sex
in his own bedroom.

Q. My wife acts like wearing
sexy lingerie and letting me per-
form cunnilingus are sex treats to

1991 - North Shore News

LIFESTYLES
Does he have right
to cheat on wiie?

Dr. Ruth
Westheimer

ASK DR. RUTH

be reserved for special occasions
only.

T love it when she dresses in
sexy lingerie for me. I buy her
beautiful lacy things. She wears
them once — and no more.

Also, she is willing to perform
fellatio on me whenever I ask, but
most of the time she stops me
from reciprocating. When she
does let me, she gets very hot. It
makes the sex hbetfer for both of
us. So why dues she limit us the
way she does?

A. Maybe she does consider
these things ‘special treats’? as
you say. But, she may also believe
that wearing sexy lingerie or
allowing you to mike oral love to
her cheapens the sex somehow.

This is a negative sex attitude
some women have learned from
their tamilies or rebgious training,

Or maybe she fears sou will
think less or her if she allows
herself! to beeome uninhibited.
Since she gets turned on by oral
ser, you Know she likes the espe-
rience. She is also willing to do
things to please you, so you know
she isn't refusing these special
treats (0 punish you in same way.

Q. Are there any mea over 50
who wouldn't dump a woman
their age for a woman 20 years
younger?

For the past six months, I've
been seeing a man in bis mid-50s.
i'm in my mid-40s. We seemed to
have everything, includins great
sex. I thought he was comfortable
with my professional success.

Then suddenly his career took a
downturn, and shortly after that
he began seeing a thirtysomething
unemployed secretary who lives
with her parents.

Fm stitt reeling. 1 feel ofd and
undesirable and wonder if (ll ever
be interested in another sexual
relationship again. Do you think
he'll come back to me?

A. 1 don't have a crystal ball,
so J can’t tell you if he will ever
come back to you.

I am guessing his career
downturn has more to do with his
sudden interest in this woman
than your age does,

Some men still need to feel su-
perior in some way to the women
they date and even marry.

Sorrell promotes reading for pleasure

From page &7F

cach basic exercises as reading and
writing.

“‘Were illiteracy an identifiable
disease,’’ writes U.S. Senator
Joyce Fairburn, ‘‘it would be
judged as an epidemic.”’

Many outspoken Canadian
authors have warned of the
dangers of illiteracy, but Sorrell’s
message has been to promote the
world of the imagination through
reading for pleasure.

“Obviously it’s deplorable that
many people have such difficulty
with reading. Even though my
family comes from great ig-
norance, I believe it’s more im-
portant to learn to read for
pleasure than to learn to read to
just get by. That’s (reading for
pleasure) what inspires us and
allows us to enter into other peo-
ples’ lives. It deepens our sense of
understanding of other people and
increases our compassion.”? And’
that, says Sorrell, is what makes
us grow as human beings.

Sorrell says he doesn’t have a
master plan on how to solve the
literacy problem. He only hopes

Wolo

Fail Flyer
Appearing September 11, 1991

Due to circumstances beyond
our control, some of the men's &
boyswear items may not be
available as featured in our flyer
of September 11 Rain checks will
not be available on these items.

We apologize for any inconve-
nience this may cause.

that his own books will serve as

the door to literacy for others.
Sorrell will be at North Van-

couver City Library at 2 p.m.;

Thursday Sept. Sth
5-7pm open house

i

Library at 4 p.m.,
Vancouver District Capilano

FRENCH LANGUAGE TRAINING

Efficient up-to-date methods
All Levels - Adults or school students

STARTING SEPTEMBER 16TH
Village Square, suite 2-202, 1457 Marine Drive
{above McDonald’s)

Registration - Placement tests

Saturday Sept. 7th
10-12am open house

Saturday Sept. 14th — 10-12

ALLIANCE FRANCAISE

Centre for French Studies
INFORMATION: 327-0201
North Shore: Ask for our West Van Chapter

YOUR NEXT CAR OR TRUCK RENTAL

MUST BE PRESENTED AT TIME OF RENTAL.

NOTVALID IN CONJUNCTION WITH ANY OTHER
SPECIAL OFFER.

judget

car and
truck rental

r
I
i
|
{
!
1
|
I
I
I
!
i
|
{
I
|
|
{
I
I
i
t

West Vancouver Memorial
and North

Library on Oct. 3 at 7:30 p.m.

Thursday Sept. 12th
5-7 pm

y

NEWS photo Cindy Goodman

LIONS GATE Bridge as viewed from below on Welch St.

is holding auditions’ for its Student Company
September 13th ‘& 14th, 1991;.. at-4:00
(Previous Dance Required -~ Intermediate/Advanced)
We are also. taking’ registrations for: our fall session
of. classes -in Jazz, Ballet, Tap & Modem.
* Guest Teachers: Meribers of Alvin Ailey Company
September 14th & 15th

HARBOUR DAN CE CENTRE

** New Class: HIP HOP for Kids Thursdays at 4:30 p.m.

HARBOUR DANCE CENTRE
JAZZ * BALLET * TAP * MODERN

927 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C. V6Z 1L3 % 684-9542

i
I
i
I
!
|
I
I
I
I
!
I
I
I
!
I
i
i
t
d

Y nal
We feature EJ vehicles

TWO LOCATIONS IN NORTH VANCOUVER

1700 MARINE DRIVE & 1507 MAIN ST.
PHONE: 263-5555
NORTH SHORE CENTRAL RESERVATIONS