20 — Friday, August 14, 1998 — North Shore News

The perf

I’ve been giving sericus thought to get-
ting a family boa constrictor. P’ve been
driven to this extreme by two years of
waterfront living.

¥ love our neighborhood. Like many lucky
North Shore residents, we're not far from the
water. I can see the niarinas and ferry docks of
Horseshoe Bay right out my window. I can
walk to Whytecliff in 15 minutes.

However, there is a seedy, lice-encrusted,
flea-ridden underbelly to these shores. And, -
unfortunately, it just comes with the territory.

Rats.

They can squeeze through a pinhole if they think there’s
grub on the other side. They use any and all surfaces for
relieving themselves. If they get into your house, your walls
and crawl spaces become their labyrinth.

Lock down the dog food! Empty your bird feeders!
Fortify the composter!

Throw away the Jiffy Pop and any other edibles stored in
the basement with the rest of your camping gear. Heck,
even old suntan lotion is a tasty treat for these critters.

Replace these items with an ample supply of aati-coagu-
lant, well removed from beloved family pets and other less

Juue Wercut
HOWE SOUNDINGS

pestilent wildlife.

From Ambleside to Horseshoe Bay, rats are a part
of life. I semember childhood picnics at Ambleside
when my playmates and I would run around the
duck pond ind breakwaters flushing our the rats.
On the North Shore, for a million dollars, you can
buy a waterfro:it home with an unobstructed view
of English Bay. That is if you don’t mind a railway
running through vour backyard
and may I recommend a good pool
boy and a wonderful exterminator?
One year ago, I did my best to
clean out the basement of rat droppings and
chewed up camping gear. I was pregnant and my
nesting instinct overcame my disgust. It was a fruitless exer-
cise. They came rigint back.

Weeks later, during 3 a.m. feedings with my newborn
son, I would hear the scritch-scratch of little paws running a
nocturnal relay between my walls and the basement. But to
touch the rat poisen, to cven enter the basement. I just
couldn't face it.

“I don’t £0 in there anymore,” I explained to the carpen-
ier just two days ago. The next day, I happened upon telltale
rat pellets in the. back of our laundry room cupboard. They
must have gotten in through the doggie door.

‘COMMENTA

it pet for the waterfront —

The irony for the rats was that the only edibles stored in
that cupboard were packets of rat poison!

Ha ha!

I gingerly removed the poison box so as not to contami-
nate myself with poisonous dust or traces of bubonic plague
and headed for the basement for the first time in months. It
was time to get tough again. “Be strong,” I urged myself.

I entered their turf, poison in hand, ready to da battle,
when what should I see? A gray and furry
six-inch corpse plus tail. It was the laundry
room snacker, and he had anti-coagulated in
our basement. } blindly fiung a few packets
of poison and retreated, leaving the corpse where it lay.

I try to kill spiders as required without putting up a big
fuss. 1 would really like to learn how to use my husband’s
cordless drill so that I could put up my own shclves, etc.“
Bur I am not going to touch the dead rat. It awaits my. hus--
band. :

That brings me to the boa constrictor. [’ve ruled outa
cat because we're both allergic. [ have considered an Gcelot
cr something, bur I don’t think that they’re. good with kids.
So that leaves me with the boa constrictor, It can live in:the.
basement. It will have a steady supply of nourishment and if.
it ever runs out of rats to munch on, I’m sure ic could make.
short work of our Jiffy Pop. : ;

Gemini nominees named Piants.

ig Ceremony. was also broadcast
) ers Community TV.
r; the academy received -
ion; performarice and craft categorics.

er of Eyes of a Cowboy, for Best Short

on; co-producer of The Adventures of Shirley
hildren's or Youth Program or Series;

. Jay Brazeau

Best Original Music Score for a
Dramatic Series;
B John Screda, The Rat Among
Us, for Best Originai Music Score
for a Documentary Program or
Series;
B® Nicola Cavendish, The Sleep
Room, for Besc Performance by an
Actress in a Leading Role in a
Dramaiic Program or Mini-series;
@ Jay Brazeau, Stargate SG-1
episode “Tin Man,” for Best
" Performance by an Actor in a
* Guest Role Dramatic Scrics;
@ Patti Harras, Cold Squad cpisode
“Rita Brice,” for Best Performance
by an Actress in a Guest Role
Dramatic Series, and
5M Vicki Gabereau, Gaberrau Live! cpisode “Robert Duvall/Peter
Nevill-Hadley/Dal Dil Vog,” for Best Host in a Lifestyle or
Performing Arts Program or Series. ; .
The 13th Gemini Awards will be presented on Oct. 2, 3, and
4 in Toronto and will be broadcast five on CBC Television on

Cet. 4 at 8 p.m.
— Layne Christensen

.

Vicki Gabereau ;

AT EATON’S - PaRK:ROYA
CUSTOMER. -):

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK * TI
LOCATED BEHING SUPER. VALU AND THE MARKE’
SOUTH MALL 922-3325:.0c. 219