4 — Wednesday, June 9, 1993 - North Shore News A ser! THE RECENT horror show in Waco, Texas, reminds me of why I got out of the religion business. I don't mean the business of going to church, or thinking about God, I mean the business of being a minister. For a couple of years back -- oh, many moons ago — | hada little religion going. It was incor- porated under the B.C. Societies Act as the Whole Earth Church. 1t wasn't legally a religion, al- though, truth to tell, if | had kept it up, filing annual reports and all that, by now it would have been in existence long enough to be du- ‘ly recognized as an official religion. That is to say, it would have had charitable organization status, ‘and I'd be able to give peaple tax receipts for write-off purposes. You have to keep in mind that Buddhism isn't an offically sanc- tioned religion either, or at least it wasn't the last time 1 checked. That's because Buddhists don’t sec any point in seeking permis- sion from provincial bureaucrats to carry on their rituals, With good reason, they doubt ‘that the Buddha would give a hoot one way or another. I’m sure there are quite a few religions that aren’t properly reg- istered in Victoria, or Ottawa for that matter, although, as far as [ can tell, religion — the tax receipt end of it, at any rate — is a pro- vincial jurisdiction in Canada, even if the right to freedom of , worship is a federal matter. ¢ ,; | started the Whole Earth,’ ~Chaureh back in the early 1970s as a kind of a prank, Not entirely a prank, mind you. It had a serious purpose initially, which is to say | was hard-pressed for material for a column one day, and hit upon the idea of “ordaitling” people, via the news- paper 1 was writing for.! It_was harmless enough. } ..” “myself had been ‘ordained’’ in _ San Francisco a few years earlier _ asa minister of the Universe Life “Church. =: All it' amounted to was some hippie coming up to me ata . peychedelic light show, tapping me “on the forehead with one finger. and saying: “‘Zap."" Chilliwack, I got talked into going On stage and zapping a couple of - . thousand people at once. They too wanted ordainment papers. Before | knew it, membership was getting up there. Somebody asked if 1 ‘‘did’* marriages. Why not? Over the next few years | performed a couple of dozen mar- riage ceremonies, just for friends, you understand. They all had to go out and get it legalized at a registry office of course, although, in one case, | performed a joint ceremony with a real minister. : (i. don’t think he was too happy Advertisement _ EXCITING KITCHEN CO. COMESTO NORTH SHORE The Kitchen Co, has recently opened ils doors, specializing in kitchen and bathroom renovations and offering-a complete line of exciting cabinets and countertops in conjunction with a professional kitchen/bath design and decorating service. “The staff of Kitchen Co., with over 40 years of experience and expertise, are dedicated to ensuring that our clients receive the highest quality, most innovative design, competitive pricing and our ‘most excellent record of customer service,” says owner Ray Kelly. Working along side Ray, Ron Luther has many years of kitchen design and project management experience. “We also provide renovation services such as demolition, removal, plumbing, construction, electrical, drywall and flooring, In fact, we offer: the complete package, ensuring that the end result. is: complete customer satisfaction.” The Kitchen Co. invites you to call them for a free consultation on kitchen and bathroom needs a at 984-6458. b ARDAGH HUNTER TURNER. . Barristers & Solicitors Personal Injury AFTER HOURS FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION a al | 986-4366 | 986-9286 #300-1401 LONSDALE, NORTH VANCOUVER, BC. OQ about sharing the assignment with an amateur, but was quite gracious about it, all things con- sidered.) ‘twas all done in a spirit of good, anarchist fun with a bit of an evo-message thrown in. Also, | think it's fair to say, there was an element of a shared sense of disillusionment with the “real’’ churches, a bit of an indes finger aimed in the direction of organized, i.e., established religion. Now, | was perfectly aware that some people would consider such shenanigans to be blasphemous, heretical, sinful. I could have got- ten into deep, deep trouble back in the Middle Ages. Heck, depending on where one pulled off such a caper — say, Texas or Iran or India — ane could still get into serious trouble today. Almost everybody | dealt with as ‘Reverend Bob" understood that the point of the Whole Earth Church was notto take religion, or at least organized religion, too seriously, It was more in the nature of street theatre than gospel, a take-off on the pomposity and deadly earnestness of preachers and priests alike. Satire. Fun, What you would call performance art these days. But a few people started taking it to heart. They wanted, for God's sake, to be followers. They Our most popular wanted me to tell them what to value do. | , § That's all it took to scare me 399.95 off, I'M tell you. And the really scary aspect was there was a little part of me — 1 think there's a lit- tle part in all of us — that secretly liked the idea of playing guru toa bunch of followers, And we all know now — or should know — where that leads, don’t we? The last thing the world needs is any more religions. Or gurus, Let alone messiahs. That First Spring Gar Wash Won't Scrub Away | Winter's Damage! SUPREME High quality look with extended durabilly "$499.95 | PRESIDENTIAL 945 West ist St. Ph. 984-4111 : BODYWORKS Vans, tucks and commercial vehicles by estimate. Rust repair and bodywork extra. - Free estimates on all bodywork. | Join us for refreshments on FRIDAY 11TH and SATURDAY 12TH JUNE from 10-6 pm and see our exciting new showroom full of. contemporary and traditional kitchen. and bathroom designs. The Kitchen company 1259 MARINE DRIVE (ACROSS FROM SAVE-ON FOODS) — NORTH VANCOUVER |.