36 - Sunday, February 23, 1992 — North Shore News Extracurricular activities troublesome EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES can be a source of frustration to divorced or separated couples with children whether in a joint custody arrangement or in a more tradi- tional arrangement of one parent having custody and the other access. Many cf the problems arise because the parents failed to con- sider the matter at the time of separation. Lack of attention to extracur- ricular activities at the time of separation is quite understandable. Thoughts may well have been directed.to the more substantial aspects of separation such as the issue of custody itself. However, . if the matter is addressed before problems arise, there is usually less friction between the parents and both the parents and the. children benefit. : In an arrangement’ of one parent having custody and the other access, it is the custodial parent who usually decides upon - the extracurricular activities of the child. However, both parents may have strong feelings as to, the types of activities or the amount of activities he or she feels is ap- propriate for the child’s develop- ment. In agreeing to the other parent having custody, the access parent may want to set out the type or amount of activities in which the child will be involved or include a provision allowing the access parent input into those decisions as the child gets older. _. Assuming it is:. the custodial .parént making the. decisions re- garding extracurricular activities, is it fair for that parent to sign the child up for activities occurring in the time:the other parent has ac- cess to the child? It may be very inconvenient for the access parent if he or she lives across town from the activity. On the other hand, is it fair to the chiid or the parent who paid for the activity for-the ‘child to miss portions of the activ- - ity? The problem may be resolved by” the parents agreeing be- forehand that the. custodial parent ’ will not sign the child up for ac- Family Affairs equipment costs. Parents may also wish to ad- dress whether it is their intention that both attend the activities despite whichever parent the child is with at a given time. it may be very appropriate for both parents to attend an activity such as a soccer game, but inappropriate for either to attend on a regular basis for an activity such as a piano lesson. In activities where both parents can attend, the parent who regis- 1 ters the child for an activity KIRSTIE MACLISE | STARK tivities occurring during the time the child spends with the access parent without the prior written consent of the access parent.. However, that may deprive the child of many extracurricular ac- tivities or put pressure on the. ac- cess parent to consent to and take the child to activities lessening the amount of individual time the ac- cess parent’ can spend with ‘the child. : Alternatively, or in addition, the parents may agree that access times will be changed from time to time if extracursic:var activities are only available a: times the child is with the access parent provided adequate notice is given: to the access parent. . In situations where both parents have input into the extracurricular activities of the child the parties should address who pays for the activities or any equipment re- quized. For example, friction be- tween parents could easily result: from one parent signing a child up for a sport such as hockey and the other parent finding himself. or herself responsible for substantial ‘Business Management Diploma Programs ’ Information Meeting "Wednesday, February 26 at 7 p.m. ca H Building, Room 501 . “It’s time to plan ahead — our two-year full-time . Business ‘Management diploma programs start in “September. Begin your career planning now. Attend this information meeting and find out more about how you can become job ready for tomorrow’s marketplace. = = Our programs include: © Accounting/Financial Management © Administrative Management © Marketing Management © Merchandising Management © Business Computing Co-op ’’ International Business (8 months) Information will also be available on our accelerated 10-month diploma programs applicable to several of the above areas of study, starting in July, 1992. Learn more about our new B. Admin. degree available at Capilano through the B.C. Open University. Appiications for enrolment in these programs are now being accepted. Call Business Management at 984-4960 and CAPILANO COLLEGE let us know that you are coming to the meeting. 2055 Purcell Way-e North Vancouver « B.C. HUGH « should agree to provide the other with schedules of the activities when available. As anyone who has been in- volved with children and extracur- ricuiar activities will know, there are numerous other issues which may arisc. If the matter is discussed in detail with the parents’ respective lawyers at the time of separation it can be dealt with as part of the settlement agreement. Normally it is much more dif- ficult to deal with the matter after custody and access arrangements have been dealt with either by court order or agreement. However, it is possible that the matter could be addressed at a later stage particularly where both parties wanted a resolution to rec- curring problems. The form of agreement is likely to vary depen- ding upon such factors as the age of the children, the ability of the parents to communicate easily with one another and the distance between the parents’ residences. An agreement well thought-out and well-drafted may aliow the parents to sit back, and relax and enjoy their child’s ball game rather than. spending the time. glaring across the field at an ex-- spouse. RUBBER DUCKY DAY COLOURING CONTEST Bring your coloured picture for judging on Rubber Ducky Day at Capilano Suspension Bridge SUNDAY MARCH |] 11 am - 4 pm. WACKY QUACKY FUN ALL:DAY! Children under 12 Free 2 for 1 ANNUAL’ PASS SALE ° ALL PROCEEDS FROM ADMISSION GO TO NORTH SHORE RESCUE TEAM Buy your Great Capilano River Duck Race tickets here — only $5! | CAPILANO SUSPENSION BRIDGE 3735 Capilano Road, North Vancouver Ss Ih 985-7474 north shore