‘but I. hate

topnotch’ home,. etc.. When

‘we go out to dinner, I long to |
go to one of the very best —

_restaurants. I want to fly first

_ class and. live in the best —
- hotels when we ‘travel. a
guess that’s enough to give.

you the picture. I want
first-class in everything. iT

should tell you, before I pose —
my question, that my hus-..

band can well afford all these
gocdies and has something

although his tastes

perhaps not quite as rich a8 as
mine. Now here’s the prob-—

lem. Although I aim just as I

have described — “above; Tr

QUESTION: I build houses _

‘and Pve noticed that marri- .
age problems seem. to. be. :
related to particular reoms in —

the house. Some. people. are.

other rooms. ve: noticed itin.
your column although J was
aware. of it before..
people are unhappy over. one
of.the couple being ‘a TV fan

read or. something else.
Their ‘‘bad’’

bad reem is the bedroom.
The “I want to be alone’’ guy
has troubles in the den or

. workshop. The kitchen riles:
the woman. ‘who whines,

. QUESTION:

There are some things
I’ve never done in my life,
thank goodness. Ive never

really cheated on my hus-
band and I’ve never got into
drugs. Now, the bewilder-
ment to me is that even
though I say thank goodness
- Pve never done those things
Ireally want to!! I was raised

rather strictly and ours was a
good moral family. I.am traly
glad about that, and that’s |
the way J want to be, MOST

of the time. But Pve never

even tried grass. And I’ve

. 2 QUESTION: 1 3 ‘ret: love good
things. T don’t alw
Om: “the | best?’,.
‘shoddy. things. I like. good. 7
' furniture, a° goed - car, a”

loathe :
much emphasis « on: ‘things””.
1 ‘am “most uncomfortable
with: ‘Sghowy”? ‘people: who |
try to. impress me with their
wealth. I don’t like money.
snobs. -I_am mest disturbed
by: the . wealthy having. so"
2 ite. and the Poor having 6 so .
= ec. Ae,

ways insist —

“Pye been tolling © over a hot

stove all day, while you etc. ”
»Pve- just | ‘recently :
become aware - “that.
z family fits in to: this theory.”
more unhappy in one room in -
their home than in any of the

ete.”?.

Some
':the others because of. being
in a hurry. The kids tend to
while another wants to talk or grab a lot and never pass _
_ anything. There’s a lot of |
room is. the. interrupting goes on at the
living room. A few write you table
about sex problems and their.

. together. |

Page 22, June 14,1978-NorthShoreNews

people. : who | put too |

In other words 1 don’t like

off’, Pd
LL want the

Our bad room is the dining

- never even seen another man
naked, let alone. go- to bed

with him. At times I feel lam

le so that no one can |
finish a sentence without a —
couple of sthers starting to.
talk about. something else.all
Some : insist on. -
eating something different to
the others. UYou know L, =

and ‘for that you ‘can be '-

STEWART:
_ “good things in. life’’ ‘that.
_you already possess is a good

‘One | of: ‘the

healthy conscience. It makes
it hard for you to'be’ selfi: sh,

grateful. You have a concern

people like me. I live in dread —
- of people. thinking of me as a
-Svich bitch’. I don’t want .
people mad at me because I _
derive a Cadillac instead of a -
: Mazda. If 1 knew ‘that
of the same. leaning I have,

feel
good

_MY-* 4

have, and.couple-them with.

‘for others“and are sensitive.
“to the injustices that are SO”
- hard on people who. do not
have the. ‘financial stability -

that. you have. If you can

come to’ acknowledge those

good. things you © already

other good things that. the

-whole ‘world .recognizes as
~ being:
“someone ‘thought - Twas’:
are “‘showing
terrible. . .
_ things of life, but I don’t.

“want to be. categorized’ asa :
- cold show-off.” -

“first class’’, then.

you’ handle. -your’.money _
well. Those. other | things I
refer: to..as being ‘ widely |
considered top-values, —
~ Jove and ‘sharing and concern.
for others, and giving: with a

are’

t can’t - stand squash”), ‘The

kids are pretty normal talkers

and. slurpers and pokers and —
- whiners. |
. Granma is pleasant until’ she
gets in the dining room. My -
‘room: We are more unhappy _
there than any piace else in_
the house. Someone always -
wants to start eating before.

pinchers and

wife-and I are most at home
in the bedreom and the living
room but we are caught up in

all: the: unhappiness: of ‘the

. dining room. What to do? .
- STEWART: I’m tempted to
answer,

“*Eat: in. the. bed-.

room’’, but ‘that’s ‘over-

in simplifying i isn t it.

mo

“You have’ not: told us ‘the:

ages: of the kids, nor. how
‘many of them there are, but I.

would suggest you get them

‘all together (not in the dining
room!) : and. let them. see. that ;

far too conformist and just-

too chicken all together. Do
you know what I mean?

like to try like switching to
NDP or not wear a hat to

church or wear a pant suit to

What a weird variety of
things to feel chicken about!

e

There are some things ['d -

church. Again, Pm. too
chicken. What do you ‘think :
about me? ,
STEWART:

Pu applaud when you. go ‘to

church hatless and suited. (I

attended a church the other ‘‘

day where half the women
wore suits and I only saw two
‘hats). a ee

I'm all for ‘trying “most

things when there isa strong .‘
urge to'do'so. Some things 1

have not got into,. not so
much. because I'm scared,
‘but. because’ I:

am curious and feel a. little

cheated - they don’t fit what

: when: they all get together
_ with you two and Grandma in
‘the dining room, no one has

~ happy. |
Suggestions |

simply :
“KNOW.” even though 1°

“gr grace! Be’ “prateful that. you |

are well-to-do, but if you find .

you. -are_ proud: ‘of -being -
well-to-do, then. off-set: the.
7 pride (which is so distasteful) -
.by more and more. Jove ‘and.’
" ‘more‘and more giving. Your |.
‘sharing and. giving will be |
: increasingly valuable to you
(and others) the more you are
_ able to find ways of doing it
‘secretly.. Do. your darndest.
“not to get. credit ‘for: your
. giving. a oe

“And forget about what the

‘rest of us think of you! Do

yourself the favour. of being
‘Secretly giving and unselfish’
‘to ‘the -extent : ‘that will: be

- pleasing’ YOU.

any fun. but. that: it. really
doesn’t have to be that way::
Mealtime COULD ‘be real
Then ask them for
and make
suggestions of your own. See.
if you can come up with some

ideas that. everyone (or a - Q

good majority) can agree on.

Then ask: everyone to try .

those ideas for a week when

_. you’ll have another: meeting.
and see what the next steps

are. You might agree to have

no nagging at the table
: during that. week’s trial run.
‘In other words, try to get
_ everyone: working -at having
‘more fun in the dining room.

_I’m becoming. You say, so
in your letter,.

naturally, -
‘fours was..a good moral
family:-Fam truly glad about
that and that’s the way I

"want to be’’. If you got.into
_ drugs or did a little discreet
| bed-hopping, do you. think

that’ s. the way you would

‘want it to.be’’? You know, .

the answer simply MUST be

-your own. Do yourself a big

favour and stick with how -
-you KNOW you want it to be.

Only YOU know how you ©

Norcu Insurance Services Ltd.

The North Shore Community Credit Union announces that with effect from
_ the 29th of May 1978, the name of its wholly owned subsidiary Norcu Realty
Ltd. Is changed to. the name Norcu Insurance Services Ltd.

‘

N | ae Noreu Insurance
Services Ltd.

A Subsidiary of the North Shora Community Credit Union

* 4100 Lonsdate Avenue,

North Vancouver, B.C,

986-4321

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