Parents very concerned about [OF021ogmENTAL HEALING ARTs daughter and her children MY DAUGRTER is in a very. destructive relationship which is totally foreign to the upbringing she has received from my husband and myself. She has been married to a man whos* culture is substantially dif- ferent from our Canadian culture and one in which the male is dom- inant. Although we have resisted in- volvement where we have felt our daughter was allowing her hus- band to control her life and diminish her image of herself, we have become increasingly con- cerned that our daughter and two granddaughters for the last. 18 months to two. years have had | unusual : bruising on their. faces, arms and legs. Two nights ago, our daughter came to-our home in.tears and said she couvid no longer stand to live with her husband. - Although .she had separated from him twice before, she had _ Feturned to him against our ad- vice. This time, however, she has confirmed our. most feared saspi- - cions — that he has beaten both her and our two granddaughters “when he.has become angry and. ‘ particuiarly when he has been drinking alcohol... ‘Ske is afraid to: ‘return to her ' ~home with: her. children’ even -. though the police have removed : Her concern is that he will come - _into the home, overpower ber and “ take the children out-of the coun- try back to his homeland. . What ‘can. be: done to heip our danghter? Your: daughter’ $ situation is one x which : requires . not -only legal in- ~ tervention, but~ ~ gounselling KIRSTIE Family Affairs HUGH MACLISE STARK . assistance to help her in restoring her feelings of self-worth and restructuring her personal life so that she feels she is once again in control of her life. If she does not receive ap- propriate counselling, then in most instances, money spent on the. legal aspect. of the problem will simply be wasted as she will return:once again into the same environment that has been destructive to her in the past. : The first ‘step then is to have her see her medical doctor and have him or her refer her to an appropriate counsellor. Her lawyer. should commence an action pursuant to the provi- sions of the Family Relations Act, sain an order for interim custody, ° exclusive occupancy of the home, Testraint of contact between spouses and the exclusive retention of furniture and motor vehicles by ex-parte application to the court. By proceeding with an ex-parte application her lawyer might well be able to obtain relief on an in- terim basis without the necessity of serving the documents on her husband before gaining the order of the court. Once her home environment has been stabilized. and she is no longer fearful of physical violence and re-entry by her husband to the home, it may be possible to work out a_ settlement which would include maintenance and access to the children. ‘It is normal for individuals such as your daughter to feel that they have done something wrong and ‘that they have caused the family upheaval. She will need a lot of emotional support in the ensuing weeks and months to assist her in breaking this unfortunate syndrome. The legal aspect of the problem is the easiest one to solve. The questions and answers ~ given in this column are for gen- eral information only. if you have matrimonial prob- lems you should seek legal advice So that your. adviser can fully assess your particular cir- cumstances and give you the best advice,. Question... ‘about family law and estates can be directed to Stark & MacLise, Barristers & Solicitors, c/o Family Affairs, North Shore News, 1139 Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver, B.C. V7M 4. F ree service helps seniors NEED MORE information on pension benefits,: health, or other subjects of interest to seniors? Kent Lyons (77), a-director of the Seniors’. Resources and Research Society (SSRS), helped create. 2 computer bulletin board service (BBS) for. senior citizens. He. previously. operated a BBS called “Harbinger” for Vancouver authors. As on a: supermarket bulletin board, people can leave messages “for one another, but because it ’. uses a telephone and a computer,’ SRRS-INFONET is much more than a ‘message place. It also con- -tains 20 libraries of information for seniors, on a broad range of subjects. “One of ‘our libraries has a listing of. hundreds of senior. citi- zens’ groups in B.C.,” said Lyons... ‘‘By typing in the first -- three digits of their postal code, ““ users receive a list of seniors’ groups in that area.” “Most senior citizens’ groups Read Tim Bell’s FILM REVIEW every Wednesday in the in North Shore News__. and many senior individuals have computers now. They just need to buy a $100 modem and they have quick access to this library for seniors. For one ekample, we have health fact sheets from the STAT Unit at. the Vancouver General Hospital.’” These health sheets, and many other documents, were turned into computer-ready text by a new technology called Optical Charac- ter Recognition — a program which enables: the computer’ to read printed text. “We think it’s a breakthrough for elderly people,’’ said Lyons. “Smaller seniors’. groups (and individuals) need a place to meet without travel. A computer BBS provides a meeting place for ideas, as well as a way to make new friends.” SRRS-INFONET is open 20 hours per day, from 2 p.m. to 10 a.m. There is no charge for this service. To try -SRRS-INFONET, call (604}733-0269 with a computer ]SpEaRES modem, or phone the Seniors Resources and Research Society at 733-2310. Back Ache — Digestive Disorder — Muscular Pain? 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