4 - Wednesday, April 1, 1992 —- North Shore News The British Royal Family circus continues AT THIS critical moment in history, when the British Royal Family seems to be in deep disfavor, 1 think it’s time to come out of the closet and admit to being an anglophile. In my mind, the Brits, and especially the Royal Family, are great living theatre of the absurd, and I would sorely miss them if they were to be retired en masse from the public payroll. It’s easy for me to love the Royals, of course, because there's not much that I can see being squeezed out of my tax dollar to support them —- except, I sup- pose, when a Royal couple and their kids come traipsing across Canada, snipping ribbons and talking to boy scouts and en- vironmentalists. When they arrive in our midst, the media give them much more coverage than ordinary visiting overseas relatives, largely because they are a kind of fair-game freak show. They don’t make for great copy, because they are mostly careful to not say anything, but they are a fabulous photo op, at- tracting as they do so many famous focal faces within camera range. Also, it gives police and security forces something to get all worked up about, faced as they are, not only with a traffic problem, but the possibility of some crazed IRA type perched on top of a Lethbridge book warchouse, look- ing for revenge. Part of the thrill is that coverage of such tours is, at one level, a death watch. Into our rel- atively tranquil Canuck backwater comes a chance of actual ter- rorism. Iv isn’t polite to say this, but there is one more, visceral clement to the peculiar magnetism royalty exerts. It is the rare spectacle of 2 bot- ched centuries-old pan-European breeding program on public display, the desperate attempt to otsford 858-0945 : 2 Pully adjustable, 12 auto- act dials, cay to assemble, my Reg. $298.00 ca. ° Members 151990 1798 Bob Hunter STRICTLY PERSONAL avoid the genetic fallout from too much inter-marrying, while somehow keeping the bloodiines “*blue.”” There was a brief period of my life in which ! more or less bought into the argument that the British Crown served a politically useful fuisction for Canadians, in that the institutions the Crown per- sonified were our guaranties of democracy. And, after all, in this century the British Royal Fainily was an important factor in rallying op- position to tyranny, even if, previously, it was the tyranny. But the fact is that the United Kingdom sti!! remains distinctly un-united, even after all those bloody thousands of years. In the era of the European Community, it is not just Nor- thern Ireland that challenges Brit- ish rute, Scotland and Wales are more strongly nationalistic today than they have been for centuries. They see membership in the EC as their ticket to independence or at least some form of sovereignty association. How can I any longer expect the Crown of a distant, war-torn archipelago to have a unifying ef- fect on poor Canada as it faces the sudden widening of its own bitter internal divisions? Quite to the contrary, the Brit- ish Royal Family is a pain in the butt to most French-Canadians. At this stage, the Royals are a part of our political problem, not part of the solution. This could change, easily enough. If Quebec votes itself out and a spasm of identity crisis hits the remnants of the country, the Royals might find themselves en- joying a resurgence of popularity in the former dominion. Enough left-over Canadians might feel an urge to cling to the Queen's skiris. Oops, of course you can’t do that — actually touch her person. Sorry, forgot. Even when [ briefly imagined that the Royals were more useful than harmful, I never believed for a minute that they were otherwise anything more than the main con- spirators in a scheme to shore up an oppressive and tenacious class system The idea that a person from a certain family is any better than somebody from mine simply because of his or her lineage is as deeply offensive as it is ridiculous. The very concept of royalty is something that ought to have been relegated to the jungles by now. ft is tribalistic, anti-egalitarian, and, as an intellectual achievement, on a par with cannibalism. The scandal of tne moment, Sarah Ferguson's alleged infideli- ty, is probably not enough to bring down the monarchy, but it does leave the Throne with no one in line who enjoys a stable marital relationship. That renders the direct lineage beyond King Charlies — if he does indeed manage to outlive his mother — rather iffy, doesn’t it? SEWING | eSMTEINE: (2 roe metres will bs of equal orlesser vatve than the purchased metre) Waa Slowly but steadily, recent Ca- nadian governments have been hacking away at the British con- nection, starting with Lester Pear- son’s replacement of the Red En- sign with the Maple Leaf, and continuing today with Bob Rae’s elimination of the oath to the Queen. Our participation in the Com- monwealth has become more of an embarrassment than anything else, involving as it does the force of treating a gaggle of Third World dictators and thugs as though they were international statesmen. Our trade with Great Britain has shrunk to an insignificant trickle which, as the EC solidifies, and Canada gets dragged kicking and screaming into bed not only with Uncle Sam but with the Frito Bandito, economic ties to Britan- nia are going to be stretched even thinner. I can’t imagine that any halfway intelligent person ever thought for a moment that the Royals were anything like their image — wise, loving, dignified, unshakable, knowledgeable. They may have the kind of im- peccable taste that comes from breeding and having enough money to buy only the best, but when it comes to managing their own domestic affairs, they clearly haven't got any better grip than the poor white trash out in the sticks. Iv’s hard to feel sorry for any of them, except maybe the kids. But 1 would expect the little Royals are royal pains long before they reach the point where they can get on with serious aduit decadence. As for feeling sympathy for Fergie, any woman who marries a _ multimillionaire playboy known as Randy Andy gets what she deserves. District approves shed expansion at Lynnterm NORTH VANCOUVER District has given its approval to Western Stevedoring Co. Lid. to construct a 24,425- square-foot extension to an ex- isting shed at Lynnterm Ter- minals. The addition to the 150,000-square-foot, 36- foot-high storage shed will be 29.5 feet high. The Lynnterm site is desig- nated under the district's Of- ficial Community Plan as a HEAR YE~ development permit area. The forest products terminal is owned by the Vancouver Port Corp. (VPC), although it is operated for the port by Western Stevedoring. The district waived a re- quired development permit - needed for the shed expansion because it was told the exten- sion wili not block any existing views, will not be as high as the existing shed and will not cause any environmental dam- age. HEAR YE RUSTY GULL PUBLIC HEARING ZONING BYLAW AMENDMENT NOTICE is herby given by the City of North Vancouver, pursuant to Section 957 of the Municipal Act of British Columbia, that a Public Hearing will be held on MONDAY, APRIL 6, 1992 at 7:30p.in., in the Council Chamber, City Hall, 141 West 14th Street, North Vancouver B.C., to receive representations in connection with the following proposed amendments to "Zoning Bylaw, 1967 No. 3778": W NO. 62 To amend the text of the CD-52 Zone in the Zoning Bylaw pertaining to Lot 30, Block 166, D.1.. 27+, Plan 878, as indicated in haiched pattern on the map, located at 175 East Ist Street. The proposed bylaw would permit the addition of a patio for use as an outdoor licensed floor area; amend the rear yard setback; require two additional parking stalls which may be provided through a pay-in-licu The City payment and relocate the restriction on the size of the ©" interior licensed floor area to the . clause which restricts use as a housekeeping measure. Additional wording has been _ added to clarify that parking and loading spaces cannot conflict -.. with zarbage facilities. en cast Anat sTHeET ast GPL eos APPLICANT: RUSTY GULL NEIGHBOURHOOD PUB/ HANSED ENGINEERING ' : ALL PERSONS who believe that... their interest in property is : affected by the proposed bylaw shall be afforded a reasonable opportunity to be heard —in | person, by attorney or by petition. . The proposed bylaw and pertinent staff reports may be inspected at the office of the City Clerk between 8:30 a.m. / and 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, - except Statutory Holidays, from - March 23 to April 6,1992. ELEANOR M. RIENSTRA DEPUTY CITY CLERK of North Vancouver The Heart oS Your Comnunily ;