A8 - Sunday, January 13, 1985 - North Shore N ews Boxing Day gift with MY ears! expectant father, as we were having a libation. 4 r4 O K,”’ SAYS I to Son Number One, the pre-Christmas “You'll give us a call about 4:15 in the morning to let us know you’re on your way. And if you don’t call us, we'll call you.”’ “‘Right,’’ says he. Gray Eyes and I were on our way to Hawaii, you see, and Son Number Onw was going to drive us out t> the airport at that God-iwful hour. In returr, we were go- ing to lend him. our car for the two weeks, his oeing at the first-aid Station. That sort of arrangement doesn’t do the taxi companies ‘any good, I know, but you can have several . very happy happy ‘hours’ for what it costs to get family straight to the airport ‘by cab from” darkest West: Van. ne rang at 4 a.m. ” 15 minutes early,“ ft ““*You’re™ not” believe . this,” ‘going. “says - Son “Number. ‘One, “but Jan’ s in. labor.” : ‘Waddaya’ ask, foggily. “Well, you could collect nna “dor” i Dear. Editor: “We. of the Canadian ‘Association for Free Expres- = sion were delighted to hear the news of Doug Collins’ exoneration. “: Those: who would censor the’ free expression of ideas “have been dealt a might blow, and. the forces of freedom have triumphed. The victory in one, battle, however, does not mean that the war is won, ’ With a host of . feminists seeking to ban all ideas perceived by them as ‘‘sex- What all of us need us, and we'll all go out to the airport. Or to Grace hospital.”* “It’s a deal,’’ says I. The sprog being cooperative, we went to the airport first. 1 was perfectly calm, as ever, but Gray Eyes was quite excited. You know how women are. The friends with whom we were vacationing were already on parade, they not being about to give birth, and there was a lot of !aughing over all this having happened the way it did. And about our becoming grandparents for the first time. Our story so far had taken place two days before Christmas. There was no news on Christmas Eve. And none on Christmas Day. What could have happened? Happy hour that day was clouded by vi- sions of dreadful things, and the thought that no one wanted to give us bad news. I was unruffled, of course, but Gray Eyes looked worried. You know how women are. We phone Son Number -ist,’” and a slew of minority spokesmen demanding the rewriting of history in school textbooks to reflect no ill. upon minorities, (regardless of facts}, Canadians must be- constantly on guard to pro- tect the freedom of expres- sion which is their right. Doug Collins is a perfect example of one who has fought for freedom and won. We-: sincerely congratulate him. : Miss Daryl Reside . President, CAFE, Toronto. s «comprehensive and systematic Waste Management Plan covering the next 15-50 years. The goal of the Lower Mainland Refuse Project is to produce such a plan, We've come up with some options, but we need your input. Please atuend one of the OPEN HOUSES listed below to get more information and give us your views. All the OPEN HOUSES are open to the public between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m. January 15 January 16 Deita ‘Town 6005 No. 17 Hwy. Ladner and Country Inn, Newlands Golf and Racquet Club, 21025 ~ 48th Ave., One, No answer. Some people think that, Doug, the old lizard, is also worried. But | am my usual calm self. We phone Son Number Two, with whom the whole small Collins tribe was to have had Christmas dinner, Mum having skipped out for the first time in 35 years. It is immediately obvious that no tragedy has occurred. Sounds of ribaldry and mer- rymaking fill the phone, and we are told that our early- morning odyssey had been a false alarm. But the alarm had sounded again that very Christmas morning, and Son Number Two advised us to eal! back in a couple of hours, the word being that the great event is imminent. We do. Still nothing. . Boxing Day dawns. No message. What's with this troublesome newcomer? The phone rings shortly before happy hour. it’s a boy. Born after 52 hours of labor. Son Number One was present at the birth, as is the fashion these days. He sounded happy but tired. Poor Son Number One, |] say over my Mai Tai. Poor Jan,, chorus all four women in our group. The whole thing was rather neat, really, because Boxing Day happened to be Gray Eyes’ birthday, too. Whicii means, she says meaningfully, that our grandson's birthday will always be an afterthought. While we're dealing with this baby business, let’s pay the younger generation a compliment. They take this stuff seriously. Expectant fathers gO tO pre-natal classes, too. They talk like doctors about epidurals and oxytocin and scans and other mysteries, and already Son Number One is changing diapers, whereas his old man never changed a diaper in his life (and proud of it!) This marvellous nipper’ 8 name, by the way, is James Douglas. A_ real British Columbian. And he has my ears. 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