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ENVIRONMENTALIST.

NEWS VIEWPOINT

nother bad joke —

She recent: flop of ‘the Montrea!

_ International Museum of Humor in its
“inaugural year is no surprise. -

‘After all, how funny could an exhibit dedi-

“cated to an intangible really be?
-Mumor is not something that’ can be

stufed and mounted in a brightly lit ware- .

house with ‘simall’ typeset placards explaining
‘the ‘joke.. What’s next? The Metropolitan
Museuin of Melancholy? .

- And to.expect people to cough up $15
look at cigarette holders of dead comedians
— or worse. — film footage of their perfor-
“ances, isto strain the bounds of common
decency.

“Two bucks. at: yo ur local video store will
-get:you a Laurel and Hardy-fitm that will
provide you With an education in comedy
more complete than any. tourist- trap shrine
“ever could.

In his play Death of a Salesman, Arthur

Minter wrote: “everybody loves a kidder, but
nobody lends him money.”
. But stories chroniciing the museum’s col-
lapse focus primarily on how three levels of
government. fell over each other to lend a
kidder $13.5 million in public funds.

The final act in this black comedy took
place when the entrepreneur who created the
museum, Gilbert Rozon of Just for Laughs
comedy festival fame, came Knockin’. with

-hat in hand. Government investors were told

that the museum needed another $3.4 million
to continue operating in 1994. The half-
backed concept to build the museum was

‘approved by Brian Mulroney’s government,

as part of its bid to stave of the surging Bloc
Quebecois. Thankfully, current governments
have had the good sense to’ bring down the
curtain on this costly bad joke.

‘NEWS QUOTES OF THE WEEK

- “sage accompanying Harcourt’s

“yp thought it was a lot of whoop-
ing and screeching and. people
getting puid for it.”. i
Heidi. Breiér, who is appearing in
» the Vancouver.Opera production of
Leos Janacek’s Jenufa, on opera.
(From the Feb, 2 News Spotlight.) .

“[’m passionately psyched to be
here. I've always felt the
Northwest isthe most civilized
area on the planet.”

Former LSD guru, Timothy Leary.
to an audience at the Universily of
British. Columbia, on being in
Vancouver and the glories of the
Pacific Northwest. (Fram a Feb, 2
News story.)

Publisher
Managing r.
Associate Editor.

Peter Speck
hy Renshaw
“Noel Wright

“} was feeling traumatized yester-
day so I sniffed it repeatedly gnd
got a headache.”

Actress Tina Gilbertson, on the

benefits of aromatherapy. (From a
Feb. 6 News Lifestyles story.)

“If it is money that i is suspected to
have come from illegal activities,
it seems poetic and natural jus-
tice that the money be used to
fight those kinds of activiti

West Vancouver District Coun.
Andy Danyliu, on what he thinks
should be done with the $350.000
seized by the West Vancouver
Police and recently awarded to the
municipality by the courts. (From a
Feh, 4 News story.)

Display Advertising 980-0511

Classified Advertising 985-6222 Fax

Music-store

Distribution
Reai Estate Advertising 985-6982 Subscriptions

“It didn't leave much to the

imagination.”

Parent Karen Russell-T: aylor, on the
explicit lyrics on a Snoop Doggy

Dogg rap CD that her son had pur-

chased. (Fram a Feb. 4 News

story.) a

“T don’t remember as a kid any-
body going around poking peo-
ple’s eyes out just because the
Three Stooges was on television.”
owner Gord
Everingham, on the alleged nega-
tive impact of rap music that con-
tains explicit lyrics. (Fr ram a Feb, 4
News story.)

986-1337 -
986-1337
985-3227

Sales & Marketing Director.. Linda Stewart

£ COMptroller...cesesscseesee

North Shore News, founded in 1969 as an
“independent suburban newspaper and qualified
under Schedule 111, Paragraph 111 of the Excise
-Tax Act, is published each Wednesday, Friday and
. Sunday by North Shore Free Press Ltd. and
; distributed to every door on the North Shore.
Canada Post Canadian Publications Mai! Sales
Product Agreement No. 0087238. Mailing rates
available on request. Submissions ate welcome but
we cannot accept responsibility for unsolicited
material including manuscripts and pictures which
should be accompanied by a stamped, addressed

V7M 2H4

. envelope.

Newsroom °

1139 Lonsdale Avenue
North Vancouver B.C.

North Shore Managed’.

985-2131 Administration, 985-2131.

MEMBER

Gou SR

SDA DIVISION
. 61,582 (average circulation, Wednesday, Friday & Sunday)

==

Entire contents © 1994 North Shore Free Press Lid, All rights reserved.

FEW OF TOMORROW'S
technological wonders —
once they arrive — live up to
their advance billing. Among
them, the vaunted
Information Age.

The Information Age. you'll
recall, was'to eliminate i ignorance,
confusion and misurderstanding by
making instint trath available
instantly to everyone via cable TY
and computers.

_ Since we'd all know the exact

score about everything at the same
moment, we would finally have the
tool to build a gliteh-free human
paradise.

So what on earth went wrong
with Mike Harcourt's European
tour fast week, when he was
besieged at almost every stop in
Switzerland and Germany by bos-
tile demonstrations against: Hogging
practices in B.C?

* “Wanted. Mr.Clearcut —:Forest
Destroyer No. 1," snarled the mes-
pic- «
ture on the T-shirts of thousands of
Greenpeace protesters,

Obviously the Information Age’
had gone temporarily on the blink.
To the German prutesters —— few-ol:
whom have ever been within 6,000
miles of a Pacific coast rain forest
—— the truth wis crystal-clear,

*- Wrevealed to them that British
Columbians in general deserve 10
fry in the same hell as Brazilian
real estate developers denuding the
Amuzon forests; that B.C, is

already just one mega-size clearcut |

where, in a few-years, hardly a sin-
gic tree will still be standing.

And that therefore B.C. must be
punished for its wicked ways — .
with a Europe-wide boycott of its
pulp and paper exports that will put
100,000 out of work and destroy
one-third of the B.C. economy,

Mikey was equally clear about .
the truth. Yes, our lumber barons
KAD been naughty and greedy in.
the past. but they have now been
whipped into shape and are atoning
tor their sins,

Those ugly photos of clearcuts
are only a tiny portion of the big
picture.

After 120 years logging, 80% of
B.C.'s old-growth forests are still
untouched, Meanwhile, clearcut
areas are being reduced in size and
some 240 million new trees a year
are being planted — three for every
tree feed. Today, B.C. forests are
in good, safe hands,

Alas, however, none of the rau-
cous demonstrators wanted to hear
Mikey’s $ truth, any more than he

MIKE HARCOURT... truth and
consequences.

HITHER / AND YON :

wanted to hear theirs. Which fead
us to contemplate sadly the down-
side of the Information Age.

Agreed, electronics doa magni
icent job of distributing truth; uni-
versally and at the speed of light
The problem being that they do.ar
equally magnificent job of distrib
uting the exact opposite.

Or, as the Irishman put it when
warning his son: “The world is full:
of lies m’boy, and the trouble i is
that half of them are true.” °-:

SCRATCHPAD: Billed”
Lower Mainland “first,” the British

ian Social ‘Club, ‘is holding ;

Thursday, Feb. 9-10.in its premis
at 1552 Lonsdale.’ RSVP:'t0:735
2861. Opening early April, the’ full
facilities club will offer'live, énter-
tainment, dancing, TV, sports co

erage. cle. inva warm, friendly

atmosphere. says president Charlie:
Perkins. ... Unique “Heritage”
Choice” proposal for renewal of t
Lions Gate Bridge will be:presen
ed Tuesday, Feb. 8, to the'7:30 a.m
breakfast-meeting of West Va
Chamber’of Commerce. in Pat
Restaurant by architect Roger
Bayley. Reservations (926-6614) |.
essential. ... And many happy’

returns of Tuesday, Feb. 8, to well-

known West Van-retirees Hugh
Addison and Willy Brueckel —

both celebrating their 69th,’

WRIGHT OR WRONG: Nothing
is is invariably the best: Ating to doi in.

WILLY BRUECKEL... a birth.
day shared, ; yo