HELP’S AT Hand, by North
Shore Community Services
(NSCS), is a forum for discussing
government policies and pro-
grams, benefits, consumer and
legal rights, taxation and public
services,

Answers are intended only as a
general guide and should not be
applied to individual cases without
further consultation.

In last week's cotumn we dealt
with a question from a young
woman experiencing conflict with
her elderly landtady. The
landlady, who iad severe health
problems, often expecied her te-
nant to run errands, and although
her tenant did these favors, she
received a rude snd unappreciative
response. The Sandlady also
bothered her tenant lafe at night
by shouting for her to come and
get her mail.

We outlined the tenant's legal
rights, but added that there may
be ways of resolving the conflicts
if the tenant wished to do so. This
week we'll explore some of those
possibilities.

if you value your relationship
with your landlady and would like
to remain living in your suite in
her house, there are some ways of
dealing with your conflicts.

You may have heard about
resolving conflicts to the point of
a win-win situation instead of a

win-lose. What this means is chat
it is usually possible for people in
a conflict to discuss changes in the
way they relate to one another,
and to arrive at a result where
both parties feel satisfied.

In its simplest form, this could
be a meeting between you and
your landlady to discuss the prob-
tems you are having. This would
be an opportunity for you to ex-
press your views and also a chance
for you to hear about her situa-
tion and feelings.

Quite often, sick and elderly
people express their loncliness and
frustration by projecting anger
towards others. Although it is not
your responsibility to counsel her
or try to make her feel better, you
may discover some information
that helps you to deal with the
situation differently.

For example, you might
discover that she is not receiving
enough help to deal with all of her
needs. It could be that she needs a
homemaker more often than once
a week and this would reveal why
she asks for your help.

You could encourage her to
discuss this with her homemaker
so that she can be re-assessed for
more help. In this way, you are
uncovering some of the real issues
beneath the anger.

This is, of course, above and
beyond your responsibility as a

Holiday camp fun offered

GYMNASTICS, FUN and games
will all be part of the special
Christmas Break Gymsport Camp,
which is being offered by Eagle
‘Harbour Community Centre to
children who are six to 12 years of
age.

Participants will join Geoff
Patterson and Sue Slattery, two
nationally certified gym coaches,
for four days of active play,
learning and fun.

The Going Green onthe North

The camp is scheduled for Dec.
30, 31 and Jan. 2 and 3 from 9
a.m. to 3 p.m.

“Each day promises to bring
smiles to your face and lots of ex-
ercise while enjoying the sport of
gymnastics and the fun of recre-
ational sports,’’ say organizers.

Advance registration is sug-

gested as space is limited. For
more information call 921-7425,

"Shore committee together with
Environment Canada and
community sponsors-have put
together a GOING GREEN
Calendar for 1992. - |
Each month will highlight: .
different ways you can heip keep
our environment green.

THE YOICE OF NORTH AND WEST VANCOUVER

eran

anne Li?

WEDNESDAY - FRIDAY

tenant. As we said earlier, these
are ideas you could try if you
value the relationship with your
landlady enough to try and change
it.

These ideas, however, are not
meant to excuse her rude and in-
appropriate behavior. This
meeting will give you the oppor-
tunity to talk about how you
dislike that treatment and want it
to change.

If you feel that you Tack the
skills to deal with the conflict
yourselves, you could try media-
tion. Mediation is an affordable
service for resolving disputes be-
(ween people in families, the
workplace, neighborhoods, or in

Wednesday, December 18, 1991 - North Shore News - S7

other relationships.

A professionally trained media-
tor would meet both you and your
landlady, help you to hear and
understand each other and to
come to new agreements about
your behavior. In order for
mediation to be effective both
Parties must be willing.

On the North Shore you can
contact Westcoast Mediation Ser-
vices at 985-7135 for more infor-
mation or to set up an appoint-
ment.

If your efforts to negotiate with
your landlady don't change
things, it would be best to seek
out a more suitable living situa-
tion. If you can stand it, give

For All The Men In Your Life
Fabulous Shirts From Around The World

vourself some time to look at ail
of your options for another place
to live. Think about setting a
three-month goal, for exampic,
instead of trying to move im-
mediately to avoid adding to your
crisis.

We have recently printed a
brochure called Finding a Place to
Live: The Steps and Skills, which
you may find helpful and which is
available at our office.

If you find yourself sharing liv-
ing space in the future, try having
a contract with the other person.

This column is prepared with
financial assistance from the
Notary Foundation. For more in-
formation call NSCS at 985-7138.

Shirts from 69° to $17900

Caulfeild Village Exit No. 4 on the Upper Levels Hwy.
5365 Headland Drive, West Vancouver