DEAR CROCODILE DUNDEE:

This is to let you know that you are 2 phony, a cheat, a
fake and a fraud. Also a has-been. You are, admittedly, a
good act and there was once a grain of truth in you. But
you are no more the Aussie cf today than a possum is a

tiger.

I know this because my man in
Oz sends me lots of clippings from
The Australian, which is a hell of a
good newspaper. And what do |
gather from its pages? That
sodomites and lesbians can enter
the country as ‘‘couples.’’

Your immigration minister catls
this ‘‘a humanitarian gesture.’’
Did you ever hear such nonsense,
my dear Dundee? It’s a crock,
that’s what it is. So much so that if
our paths ever cross, I won’t know
whether to shake your hand or kiss
you. ‘

Does Australia include that news
in its official advertising? You
know, ‘Come to Australia Fair,
men. And bring your boy friends
with you. Down under is the land
of opportunity, ha ha.”’

Things may be pretty bad here in
Canada, with pansies like Svend
Robinson, MP, looking to become
the minister of justice, and kids in
the schools being taught to be nice
to homos, but we haven’t quite
gone as far as you have. Perhaps
we’ll get around to it. We are
always looking for progress, and
there’s a general election coming.

That’s not all, though, Mr.
Dundee. For f also see where your
government plans to dedicate a
street in Canberra to Nelson
Mandela, the commie who has
captured so much liberal support
and recently celebrated his 70th
birthday in the clink, which is
where he should be.

Sob stories about Mandela and
his nasty wife, ‘“Winnie,’” abound
in our media. Only the other day
the CBC’s The Journal devoted
two whole evenings (or perhaps
they were hole evenings) to a
regurgitation of left-wing pro-
paganda on Mandela and his
cronies.

This week |

at councils

NORTH VANCOUVER CITY
COUNCIL, Monday, July 25, at 6
p.m.: committee of the whole (in-
camera) re: North Vancouver tran-
sit centre closure; joint city &
district council meeting; zoning in-
fraction. Council re: road im-
provements/ Esplanade theatre/
Lower Lonsdale traffic/ regulation
of propane, natural gas.
NORTH VANCOUVER
DISTRICT COUNCIL, Monday,
Suly 25 at 7:30 p.m.: policy and
planning committee re: WV Youth
Parties ‘Task Force report/
Parkgate Recreation/ Sunday quiet
day/ transit service/ notice of
notice — smoking ban in
municipal buildings. Council re:
variance permits/ bylaws —
Queensdale Community Plan.
WEST VANCOUVER DISTRICT
COUNCIL, Monday, July 25, at
7:45 p.m.: policy & planning
committee re: NS Economic
Development Commission/ auto
insurance task force/ tree-cutting
permit’ Dundarave Hoedown/
regional transit organization.
Council re: lane paving/ citizens’
task force 320 Taylor Way-680
Marine Dr.

Published agenda items in this
column are included as space per-
mits. For a comprehensive agenda,
residents should contact the
respective municipal halls.

Enough to make me throw up, it
was, and I have no doubt that the
Australian Broadcasting Commis-
sion has been up to the same sort
of lark.

What those people forget, natu-
rally, is that “‘Nelson’’ is an
unreconstructed terrorist.

I; Australia trying
to tell me she
wouldn’t stem that
black tide if she
were in the South
Africans’ position?
Come off it,
Dundee. Mandela
Street my ass, if you
don’t mind my using
some language that
they would ,
understand in
Walkabout Creek.’’

After a scrupulously fair trial,
he was found guilty of planning to
blow up half of Johannesburg, and
he could be a free man now if he
renounced the use of terror, which
he refuses to do. :

My apologies if you already
knew all that, dear Dundee. I had
to mention it because your gov-
ernment’s stance on South Africa
is just about as hypocritical as it

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could be. It is even worse than that
of our own Prime Minister, Brian
Baloncy, who is even more skilled :
at talking out of both sides of his
mouth than is your man Hawke.

You have no moral right to go
on about the South Africans. In
the old days you wiped out a hell!
of a lot of aboriginals. Then you
pushed what was left into the out-
back. I also hear that even today,
being an abo around Alice Springs
and places like that is no tea party.

You employed other means to
make damned good and sure that
no race problems arose in Oz.
Didn't you have a White Australia
policy until a few years ago, just as
we had a White Canada policy?
Both policies made sense. The
South Africans, on the other hand,
wiped out no one, and have done
very little to prevent immigration
from the surrounding black states.

That they don’t want to hand
things over to the Mandelas, how-
ever, is understandable. We
wouldn’t want to hand Ottawa
over to the Indians, either,
although some fools pretend we
would.

Is Australia trying to tell me she
wouldn’t try to stem that biack
tide if she were in the South
Africans’ position? Come off it,
Dundee. Mandela Street my ass, if
you don’t mind my using some __
language that they would unders-
tand in Walkabout Creek.

Crocodile Dundee has been
described here as The Pride of Oz.
And I must say I enjoyed your first
effort. But Crocodile Dundee 2 left
something to be desired. You
weren’t quite your old self, and I
think I know why. You knew all
the time that pansies were im-
migrating and that someone was

planning to create a Mandela Street. :

Sorry about this, cobber. But
someone had to say it. In the
meantime, have another Foster’s
and watch those dungpunchers®

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