‘

r—,

Freetance | ©

’ Hayden . Stewart

_ reached at 261-6242 ‘Yor
~ appointments for individual,
family or group counselling.
His new oiffice-in the Plaza
International Hotel (open
Tuesdays only) Is for the.
convenience of North Shore
residents.

you want
to hear?

QUESTION:Different times
Ihave thought of writing you
but this is the first time. The
reason I have hesitated is
that the things I want to ask
you about are all very
personal. and therefore
would not be interesting to
your readers.

E know you want your
column to be interesting to
all of your readers, not just
to the person who has

written in a question and-

awaits an answer. So why
' don't you tell us what kinds
of questions are appropriate
for your columns?

STEWART: The most in-
teresting questions, and the
ones that give me the best
opportunity to make a bit of
a contribution to the value of
the column = and_ its
usefulness to the paper itself,
are the very kinds you say
you are hesitating to write.

Your situation and ex-
periences are unique. Yet
we all have the same kinds of
feelings, and for that reason,
we have a keen interest in
each other, even if we do not
know cach other.

Feel free to write
whatever is on you mind or
heart. Try to avoid
“theories” you have, and
some sort of “philosophy”
you want to promote. And
above all, try to avoid
generalities.

A letter for this column
that starts off with, “the
trouble with men is...”, is
not as welcome as one that
starts off with, “I met this
creep the other night and
he..." Get the idea?

Our publisher, Peter
Speck has o good way of
putting it. He says the best
letters are the ones that cut
off a slice of life for us. Feel
better now? Get started on
your next letter and don’t be
afraid to tet it be a slice of
your life!

““: Catholic” - and 20,”
“opposed to birth control and.
abortion. I am loyal-to the -
charch

~ QUESTION: There can be
--be'..no consideration of age-

- FOGETHER.

» mot have any more! I' guess I
. am what people call “a good

and want to. know.

that I am obeying its in-

functions. What in the world
can nl do? : .

S STEWART; You closed and
”: locked most of the doors and

et’s

limits when you are thinking
of the six Love Principles as
guides to LIVING

would it not be of WORLD
BENEFIT if the subject of
LOVE could be included as

‘I am.

. Therefore |

“then invited me in to taik
with you! Short ‘of re-
examining your relationship

- with your church, the only

thing left for you is to refrain
from sexual relations. ,

Is am ‘sure many loyal and
‘devoted Catholics have done
that very thing, and perhaps
you are willing to ‘go ‘that
route. But it may be more
rewarding for: you to give
‘some honest thought to ‘your
“own nature and particularly
your. F relationship ‘ ada God,

. school

a regula public
curriculum subject?

STEWART: You added at
the bottom of your letter that
‘you are a retired teacher.and
that, for me, makes your
letter even-more interesting.
What a splendid, down-to-
earth idea!

Don’t ruin today

fair to keep a secret from
someone you lave,
especially if you are just
starting off on a new phase in
your relationship which is
mutually based on trusting?

I've just GOT to keep a
secret or I will. ruin the
wonderful relationship we
have. When we were not
trusting each other very
much and having a bad time
of it, I did a thing out of
spite, that I really did not
want to do at all. But I did it.
If I tell what I did, I feel
absolutely certain it will be
game over. I don’t want to
tell my secret and yet I feel
so guilty about not disclosing
it. What will I do?

STEWART: What would be
accomplished by your
opening up? Perhaps, but

Teach love

QUESTION: The word Is
getting around about
something you're doing like
a family gabfest for
teenagers & their parents.
When fs it? I hope you know
that ff you don't say what the

parents want to hear, sh€y'll
drop you like a hot wetete

STEWART: A lot of parents
are like that, but that’s not
all. I think iL YOU guys don’t
hear what you want, you'll
do the hot potato thing too.

just to ease guilt

- QUESTION: Is it right and only perhaps, you would get _

over your guilty feelings.
Otherwise, nothing would be
accomplished that I can see.
Don’t wreck a relationship
just in order to ease your
guilt feelings. Love NOW
not then.

And please don’t punish
yourself about doing a “bad”
thing. You did your best at
the time. You see now that
what you did was unwise in
the light of your present
awareness and so you -have
learned a very important
lesson. Your learning ex-
perience will not spoil your
relationship if you see it as a
learning experience and are
grateful for your learning.

NOW is the time for your
living and loving. Get on
with it, gratefully and
exuberantly.

in school

It will be all about growing
up, no matter if you are 15 or
60. It will be about in-
dependence — in-
dependence at ANY agel
Parents are weird — and
beautiful. You guys = are
weird and beautiful too.

What will happen if we get
a bunch of you together and
talk about your weirdness
and beauty? It will probably
be May 13.

The ‘profound’
Hayden Stewart

QUESTION: It's Sunday
afternoon and I've just come
home from a walk. Spring is
so early this year and the
trees and flower are so
delightful. I feel sort of
bubbly and wanted to tell
everyone about it. Then it
dawned on me to write ASK

HAYDEN STEWART and.

may to ‘the whole world
“SPRING HAS SPRUNG!"

STEWART: That was nico
of you! Do you know the rest
of the poem you started? It
goes:

“Spring has sprung!

De boids is on da wing.
Why dats absoid,

De wings is on da boid!

You see the profound
values you receive by
reading this column?

“(ther ‘than - ‘simply your

relationship with the

- church). You may become

the recipient of important
insight ‘as to the true nature.

of the church as it was in its:
early-- days and: as“ your -
church is now. You may thus.
gain: some ‘understanding.’ ‘of

your. situation and how: to

. handle it.

If you are convinced that
your church really has the
ultimate word about ‘your

TI have always felt that sex-
education should be a
curriculum subject, and yet I
have felt squeamish about it
being a separate subject all
on its own. To have it settle
in to its own rightful (and
important) place within such

_8 broad base as the LOVE

PRINCIPLES, may come

“personal °

and” “Gntimate -
processes, then, obviously,
the question in your letter is
answered for you. If you
believe that: these matters

are between you and: your
God, you may come out with .

the very same answer, but

“there is also the possibility

that you will be a more
flexible possessor of some
alternatives to consider.

.: Thave been able to respect _
~ your. religious convictions,

h love in school

‘close -to what is really
needed so desperately in this
new age.

Could you find it in your
heart and your. time-
schedule to write up a

tentative outline of such a
course? I have a feeling you
would enjoy doing it, and

OF. traditions, “becatise | I
respect yau. And you. seem
to be sincere . about. ac-
cepting them. Open to.you,”.
however, is: ithe. opportunity
of, re-examining: them with
honesty and devotion:

Of course, that is a healthy
program to follow ' ¢on-
tinuously, . about
“EVERYTHING that.
important to you - not simply ;
about your need’ to find
answers to your letter.

would probably do it well.
Then there would be
something to talk about and
promote through the proper
channels. Why not? I think
you've got hold of
something!

If you do it, I would be | °

‘delighted to see your work, |