A return to the Gong show

QUESTION: Is it possible
for you to reprint a column
you did last summer that us-
ed the phrase, “God's Gong
Show”?
STEWART: I remember it
well because of some intrigu-
ing reaction to it. It was
dated August 5 and ap
peared under the heading,
GOD AND THE
CELESTIAL GONG
SHOW. Here it is:
QUESTION: I have a well-
meaning friend who is fast
earning my resentment. He
ts very religious and ts
always squirting his pet
phrases at me. Right now he
has been saying to me, “If
you insist on living the way
you do, you can't expect
God's blessings.” With slight
variations, he says this to me
about four or five times a
week. I don't think he has
any right to talk that way.
After all, it & my life. What
can I say to him?
STEWART: Keep in mind
that you feel he is a “well-
| meaning friend.” That will
help you. What you can say
to him is not nearly as impor-
tant as what you can say to
yourself. Whether he has
“any right to talk that way” is
also not important. That is
the way he is talking! How
- are you talking to yourself?
Are you saying “He's right
you know?” Do you agree
with him even while you re-
sent what he is saying?

This well meaning friend is
making ap assumption he is
not qualified to make, in that
he is deciding how God will
relate to you, and then pass-
ing that on to you as his pro-

nouncement. My feeling is
that God “blesses” all of us

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in one way or another,
regardless of our earning, or
not earning his love and sup-
port. It is difficult for me to
see God as running a sort of
celestial gong-show. Even if
your act deserves a gong be-
mg rung on you, it is not
rung by God, but only by
some judgmental and of-
ficious human beings —

perhaps by yourself!
If you feel your act needs
cleaning up — clean it up! If

you feel O.K. about
yourself, proceed with your
life fulfilment in your own
way. Doing that will help
you know what to say to your
well-meaning friend. Who
knows? You may have
something to give him that
he is longing for.

NOTE FROM HAYDEN: In
looking for the above piece,
I ran across another that had
been requested for reprint,
bat which eluded me when I
hunted for it. The questioner
had criticized what he called
my “seeming avoidance of
social issues” and asked, “Is
ft your deliberate choice to
be thus?” I answered as
follows:

STEWART: Glad you said
“seeming” avoidance of

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or

» Sos y |
we consider our H

social issues. I feel like I'm
right in there! I am grateful
for many of the social action
groups. Whatever
WEAKNESSES they may
have seem to stem from the
excesses of those members
who are idolatrous regarding
their group and its stance.
The STRENGTHS in them
come through their members

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling.

who are respectful of their
own convictions and are BE-
ING the change they want to
see happen. I am even
grateful for some of the ex-
cesses to which some social
action groups go. When no

Experiencing

QUESTION: I would like an
intellectual and reasonable
definition of love. 1 am not
sceptical of love, nor am I
the slightest bit negative
about ft. I am convinced that
it ts one of the most
profoundly alluring
phenomena of all of the
experiences of human kind.
But what fs it?

STEWART: It is impossible
for me to imagine “an in-

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one “goes too far”, there is MISSED!

an unhealthy tendency on
the part of the rest of us to be
so laid back that we don’t go
anyplace! We are in dire
need of sacial action and I
am convinced that the best
quality social action comes
from individuals who are liv-
ing lives of integrity and

156 W. 3rd St.
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986-3111 or 987-5012

always saying “YES!” to
their own inner convictions.
We need more and more
people who are saying,
“Here stand I, so help me
God.” And I want to be one
of them. ,

and other cruel traps each year in Canada.
THIS SUFFERING MUST STOP!

YOU CAN HELP!

tellectual and reasonable ° WRITE YOUR MLA

definition of love”. A highly Send a copy of your tefies to Presser Bennet
respected philosopher, (or e JOIN THE APFA

perhaps he was a stand-up For sembexstap send $2 O00 arxtior Gorsticrrs to

comedian) once said, “A god 874-5816

who is understood is no god” (APFA) Mrs. J. Andrews
It is far more difficult to 1316 E. 12m Ave ¥ BC VSN 129
define love than it is to ASEGSTEREDOUIAME 4530 ,
“know” it. And as one learns
that he or she can BE love,
there is less and less interest
in definition, and more in
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C7 - Wedmesdny, Febranry 16, 1982 - North Shore News