Learning the facts of life

Why are men so rude?

QUESTION: Help! Help!!
Please tell men the facts of
life! I mean the facts of
social-etiquette-life. Or tell
me I am old-fashioned, or
laughably naive. Whatever
comes first.

Here we go. NEWS ITEM
(we see it frequently) Lady is
suing gentleman friend for
rape/ seduction.
QUESTION: Where did it
happen? ANSWER: His
apartment. Q. How did you
(chuckle) happen (snicker)
to be there? A. I thought he
was a gentleman. (Laughter
in court-room. She must be
stupid.)

Und recently, I thought a
man who didn't know it isn't
proper to invite a lady to his
home alone is rare. Read on:
CASE ONE: Last year a
charming, well-mannered
Englishman asked me to
“have dinner” with him. We

QUESTION: I am aware of
what you call “the rising
tide” of protest § against
nuclear weapons. But is all
the protesting being done by
idealists? Or, does the rising
tide include practical down
to earth people?

STEWART: Well, first off.
keep in mind that idealists
are the most practical people
on earth these days! Having
said that, I hasten to add that
scientists and educators and
politicians are in the rising
tide by the thousands.

“Physicians for Social

agreed on a day. When the
day came (after I'd idly
wondered where we were
going....Pizza? Seafood?
Chinese? Steak?) he ‘phoned
to say: “Dinnah will be at six.
I've marinated steaks and
Tm tossing the salad...”
When I said I'd really rather
go out someplace, he gave
me quite a reprimanding
lecture about spending S40
in a restaurant (Fd have
settled for McDonald's) I
haven't seen him since.
CASE TWO: Avery
likeable divorced man
askjed me if I were free for
dinner after a tennis game. I
was pleased and told him rd
go home for a shower and
call him when ready. When I
‘phoned, he said, “You know
where | live, don't you? It's

apartment 7 = at....” I
stammered, “Not at your
place, surely” “I've got

Responsibility” are num-
bering themselves at about
13,000. We have a branch
right here. The local branch
has printed a folder for
distribution that reads, in
part, OUR PURPOSE IS TO
INFORM OURSELVES
AND OTHERS ABOUT
THE FACTS OF NUCLEAR
WARPARE, ITS MEDICAL
CONSEQUENCES, THE
IMPOSSIBILITY OF ANY
MEANINGFUL MEDICAL
RESPONSE AND CON-
SEQUENTLY. THE
URGENCY OF BRINGING
PRESSURE TO BEAR ON

OUR LEADERS TO
Now you know
The first US) deaths ino German U-boat torpedoed

World War I] were not at
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CASE THREE: This one
beats all! A handsome,
gracious widower invited me
to dinner and took me to a
first class restaurant where
the food was delicious. As
we drove away, I mentally
praised him for having the
good taste to know about
propriety. I was thanking
him when he turned the car
left and drawing up to a
high-rise apartment, said,
brightly, “Here we are.”
“You mean,” I said, “we're
going to someone's party? I
really must go home...” “No,
no party, but you'd surely
like to see my apartment.”

I know none of these three
men I mention had any dis-
honourable intentions. !
think they are just ignorant
of the facts of etiquette.

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling.

LOVE BEATS NUCLEAR

PERSUADE ALL NATIONS
TO HALT THE ARMS
RACE AND TO WORK TO
PREVENT NUCLEAR
WAR.

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Maybe you could ask your
readers what they think. Not
that I don't have faith in your
opinion, but maybe YOU
ask ladies to your apartment
for innocent dinners when
your wife is away. Perhaps
you can't see what ['m
pacing the floor about.

STEWART: Perhaps you,
yourself, are not very clear
in your mind what you are
“pacing the floor about.” If
you really sense that none of
the three men “had any dis-
honourable intentions” (as
you state) what was it that
prompted you to pull back?
Was it because you would
rather worship what you call
“the facts of etiquette” than
experience the joys and risks
of interrelating with a fellow
human being?

Etiquette is intended to
serve us. It is not meant to
control us. It needs to be
flexible. When it tenaciously
takes a stand at a point that
is no longer important to the
people it is in existence to
serve, then it has become in-
sensitive to its own raison
detre. We need to be
grateful for the contributions
etiquette offers us, but when
we allow ourselves to be
slaves to it, we erase its

AR

. In 1982 there “abideth,”
fear, nuclear-war potential
and love - these three. And
the greatest of these is love.
It gets my vote.

seonme

©

C7 - Wednesday, Jume 9, 1962 - North Shore News

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