= Freelance cunsellor Hayden 2s
Stewart may. be. reached at .
7 261-6242 for appointmenis. for.

‘individuel,
counseling. © :

His. new. office. in the Plaza
International. Hote! . fopen.

family” or ‘group ;

"|, Tuesdays. only} is: for” ‘the
- convenience of. ‘North - ‘Shore :

‘residents...
7 oN

steam. It’s that he is plain
mean a whole lot of the time.

The other day he ‘came: in-
with a sad leok on his face’
‘and told our two little boys.

R_ 42 «B.

thai iheir pet dog had been -
killed by a car. They cried’

and cried. Then after a while,

~ the told them he was just

having fun with them and he |

let the dog in! That’s mean! I.

told him he was a heel and I.
felt good about it... .

Tcould fil your. paper with .
stories showing what a heel
he fs. He does his mean
tricks on purpose. He says he
has fun doing it but it’s a
sure bet nobody else does.
ve been married to him
nine years now and I think

- QUESTION: a
. cheer much for me. I don’t _
have the right kind of job, : on
don’t have the right kind of.
husband, or children or diet ae
ted in living their own lives in. a
their own ways 2 as ik am. How’ T

. QUES ON My. husband _
_ is mean. It’s not that Pm just.

mad at him about something |
and have decided to blow off -

— Bat now comes the great big. -
Mo REVELATION. I still like my
drive, mind you, BUT my -

People. don’t

or. clothes. or. religion, | |
-ambition or sex life or living
_ arrangements or. politics. I.
HAVE all of the above, . with
“the pessible exception of
oe ambition, - but not. any of.
_ them seem to fit in to what is 7
expected of an ordinary :
& "average: 1978. person: ‘I can.
-, say honestly that I Ike my |
way of life,” but Pm ‘getting ©
Very. very. tired of having ‘too |
: amy - people — refusing to
_- gecept me, . _
nee one. Tabelling a and exclu: 7

i . ees

apy Ue 7 one

a aL Walt Ww. be treated and”
thought | of» more. -compas-*
‘sionately, but. 1: ‘don’t: know
how: to’ bring © that » about
without turning . my back on -
some of the things that. are
very important tome. I may .
have a bit of an obsession

drugs, Why?

how ‘silly it is to mould my

life-style on being far-out.

Most. of my uniqueness
pleases me and
‘described as commitment to

my idea of Life. But let’s face

he’s getting worse and =

worse.

Pve tried everything to get
him to be nice to people, but |
i giiéas you can’t make a
good guy out of a heel. Pm
getting kepeless. Do you
think he'll ever get better, or

do you think he'll get worse?

I don’t think I can stand hin

much longer, but he doesn’t
know that because I don’t
want to rock the boat. I really
don’t want to hurt him.

STEWART:
like , that, the boat- needs
rocking! Being hurt is not the .
worst thing that can happen
to a person. In your.
husband's case, he is quite
likely hurting badly as it is.
Not many people can be
deliberately mean and see
other people being hurt

without feeling pretty sad_

themselves. He may not

show it, but Vl bet he’s’

privately suffering because
of his cruelty to others.
However, it could be that his
hurting will become his

CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

if he is really.

painting —

We've ‘been

services are fully insured. °

‘Customer satisfaction is guaranteed | ae

FRED. HARRIS

Se _ wife, for one really matters to you”.
Be _ years, has called me a driver. 2 ge em, Pe Se
: «’ve realized for 2 long time
> that when she calls mes |
ae driver, she is being critical of wi
‘ime. She fs mot proud of my Is rig
drive. Her. criticism” = fan
> mever™ really © ‘bothered. me
- been proud. of my drive. Pye.
felt: ‘She. had. a ‘funny. Sura ay I have a

her to he happy about one "et - making’ things happen, but

my best characteristics. 1 still. not. maki

- think my drive is a darn good tant:
quality i in me. Pm the kind of ela

“it, 1 would ‘also like to
more welcomed into or

. ‘STEWART: - Please. ae
_-back off from your. ‘emphasis on
on individuality and original- ft
_ ity and-uniqueness. We need on

; non-thinking,

‘and, indeed,
in the.

could be |

‘contractor

Right now is the time to think about
re-painting the interior or exterior of your oy
home, office or building to give your proporty |

a bright now look and add to its yaluo. .

; professional
- contractors for almost 20 years, we use |
' only top quality : products, -

. 4340 Crestwell Road
West Vancouver

926-0741

HAPPEN again — to ‘make’

wife: said something te me -itcome about that I'care and
the. other day. that really love people and people | care.
ako home. She’ said, “No fi

are probably just as imteres-"

do i do it?

or and k love me. ‘That 1 seems :

ease to me. It’s the language aga

os of a Griver, not the language |
af a caring person. Tam

t about . amazed that I P have tet. this

- happen to me without realiz-

y ing what. Pve been doing.

What ‘now? Do you think EF.
meaty wma re a ghance - ‘that. ama ‘tik

ao enough. ‘And the. thing ‘that

ow got to me is that. you. can’t

“keep | what - re Hike about

myself?

fo STEWART: “Why ‘not? Tie
“deed you have a head-start."
It takes some commitment: to:
ike be. a. driver. It

a. , dedication. » :

‘takes .
To" ‘become. a.

mee : in’ feeding ‘my lover you will want to use
eels ‘that is jou not goed
enough. My” ‘tendency’ mow.’
would be to MAKE ‘THINGS

_ those ". qualities — that
_-already: well developed in

yyou.”” -Continue™ to. “drive”, :

but as you. move. toward more |
~ warmth | and. ‘love and: con-.
cern, ‘keep -in- mind. that’
* “using, People’ will militate

‘Are yon, GIVING.

compassion you say aoe
‘circles of human beings, who want? Be the change you
may be pretty’ ‘straight, bat - ‘want to see Rapeeat. 7

more and more of your “‘way 5

very. ways |

of life’’ to save us from being |
hum-drum, 7
‘piastic pieces of. life’ s puzzle a
which must fit.in-to-be J
_ Counted at all. ‘It will cost you: | no Se ey
| you fo
describe, but it will be worth — Se a
_° it to _you AND to the rest of “]- -

us, ‘especially. if you follow J

“You'll find | answers. if F you |
‘about being. my own person. “ réally want to find them. lam
'—unique, individualistic and _
original. For example, Iwas
_in the forefront in those carly —
years of drug experimenta-.
tion. Now I don’t use. ANY
“everyone else”’ does. ‘Even:
telling you this helps me see |

pulling for you in. one

“See if. you are ine erforming po}.
- uniquely for the purpose of fF
or. f-
shocking. someone, or simply. |
to show-off.. Are you? Are.
you, trying to convert anyone |
to your way? Are you saying —
(perhaps even in a laid-back

impressing .. someone, .

-way,) ‘‘Hey, i’m very. indi- q
vidualistic and special, come |
be Just I like mel"? : .

“painting |

and our

- through in seeing if there are jt
“ways open’: to’ you” to. ‘be | io
-yourseif’’ and yet be a “‘part |
of the ‘whole. e family” too.

“will not - ‘need to”

| “Joving. and enjoy being a

-very valuable. quality ‘illu-
- strated: in your. ability to.

you have that hunger and are °

- . ‘willing wo do something ‘to-

- ‘satisfy it. Jack. Nicklaus says» | 1
that. being a good - driver -

‘not. making the approach :
‘shots. Best wishes to you. I

ainst. ‘your ‘goal. You may ro
‘even come to sense that. -you |.

“‘drive’’. |,
‘toward the: “ACHIEVEMENT on
of love and concern,’ ‘bu
‘rather, will. find’ what you
have. ‘been hiding. by. ‘simply :
giving yourself pene ‘to.
make: new. choices.

“You can: ‘CHOOSE to. be .

lover. The strength in you
that. you: have. called. drive p
has- undoubtedly. ‘developed:
’ partially ° to compensate ‘for |
your lack of. ‘something you.
_ want. and need, namely, |
- caring. ‘You -have’ another .

= of your. 7
hunger. for. something more, ’.
and your willingness to admit -

— if only to yourself — that |

“682-8881 -

. % We’ re Service Or Sones De
. Service seek 7: 30am - ~6pm_ an Poe

doesn’t.help much if you are

_ wish [knew you! Qe

“The Bay Park Royal i is very ) pleased to. host Mr
Rudy ‘Alperin,. Executive Vice-President of ~~

Riverdale Drapery Fabrics, New York. This Fri-
- day and Saturday, he'll be sharing his. home
| Gecorating expertise in three informative
seminars at our new store. — 7

os Subjects such as the importance of colour and.
design, the effective use of drapery fabrics, and

along.

seat.

Friday, August Ws

2:30 P.M. and 7:30 P.M.

Saturday, August 12
2:30 P.M. only -

Draperies (second floor)

; a you have specific.
a questions, bring ‘them.
‘There's
charge for. these Pop-
ular events, but as Mr.
: Alperin always attracts
a large audience, please
arrive early for your

creative directions for the future will all be — .
- covered in this instructive home fashion forum...
Mr. Alperin will also. display The Shalimar East —

. Collection—exciting new — decorator
featured by the Bay. |

fabrics

no_

‘There’ sa grand adventure
waiting for you at the Bay.

| Busons Ba Company