~ Sunday, February 7, 1993 - North Shore News

ater beds: salu

STRICTLY PERSONAL

IN MOMENTS of great
passion, { have been known
to say to my wife: ‘I love
you as much as the water
bed!”’

Many wornen would fail to ap-
preciate the enormity and depth of
this compliment. My wife herself,
the first time she heard me say it,
drew back for a moment to exam-
ine my facial expression.

But she could tell, from my
rapturous look, that I thought I
was offering high praise indeed.

Yes, L love my water bed. When
I slosh and splurt into my water
bed, everything wiggling and jiggl-
ing, it is almost as good as throw-:
ing the last line to the dock. ,

Anoather'world. A world where

you don’t move, but you drift.
You are a log in a boom, anda
jellyfish hovering effortlessly
above the hard surface of the
floor below.

The torture of gravity is, if not
defeated, suspended. No matter
which position you roll or curl or
stretch into, the blessed Jiquid
molecules are there to give some
slack.

This is not to slight the rest of
the mattress industry, whose ef-
forts on behalf of humanity
should never go unsaluted.

After a few hours of lying on a
chunk of glacial moraine, with
nothing but pine boughs between
your poor body and the rock, you
are reminded that the greatest ear-
ly invention wasn’t the wheel, it
was the pillow.

i submit that the mass produc-
tion of the Sealey Posture-Pedic
With Comfort-Guard was far
more significant, in terms of the
alleviation of human suffering,
than the mass production of
Henry Fouu'’s Model T, or any
other model, for that matter.

Moreover, has anybody found a
way to use mattresses as offensive
weapons? No! I rest my case,

When 1 owned various boats, I
must say, | loved them too, even
when they behaved atrociously
toward me.

Of course, there is no com-
parison between a boat and a
water bed, you say indignantly.

A boat is a ribbed creature of
the sea, with many components
and sub-systems, and an inchoate

but very real personality, whereas
a water bed, from a design point
of view, is nothing more than a
big plastic sac.

Well, OK, not quite that kind
of love.

But just as heartfelt, let’s say.

Heartfelt and bone-deep, !
might add. Sometimes | think it is
as primeval as love of the womb,
this love of mine for the water
bed.

I concede that sleeping in
Zero-G would be even nicer, but
barring the sudden commer-
cialization of space travel, making
it available to the masses, | doubt
that I’m going to get a chance to
find out for myself.

Sleeping on a ship at sea ina
decp swell is the best sleep of all
in terms of all-around sensory
theills. But weather at sea is an
uneven thing. Flat calms are bor-
ing. Storms introduce stresses and
strains.

With the water bed, the only -
time there is turbulence is when
somebody climbs in or out, or
turns over. Or sneezes, Or hic-
cups. Or...well, you get the drift.

Some people complain that this
very quality is what turns them
off. Poor souls. Yet | understand.

In fact, what we did was add a
four-inch layer of foam pad on
top of the water bed, which acts
ind of like a sea anchor, easing
the movement.

Now it’s perfect.

Destiny being the cruel thing
that it so often is, 1 happened,
when | was a casual risk- -taking

More NV troops sent on UN duty

THREE ADDITIONAL members
of the North Vancouver-based Six
Field Engineer Squadron have
started familiarization training in
Winnipeg to join the 10 squadron
members serving on United Na-
tions duty in the former
Yugoslavia.

The local reserve members are
expected to be deployed in April.
’* Meanwhile in December, the
unit’ conducted an exercise with
members of the North and West

Vancouver Emergency Program to
prepare unit members for response
in the event of a major carth-
quake in the Vancouver area.

The exercise involved training in
the supply of drinkable water,
first aid, search procedures and
the evacuation of injured and
displaced people.

Later this year the squadron’
will be involved in three explosive
demolition projects, one of which
entails the destruction of a water
tower in Surrey.

I would like to thank the hun-
dreds of constituents who took the
time to return questionnaires to my
Victoria office. They are still com- -
ing in and are being tabulated. It
is clear that almost everyone wants

to fight the deficit.

We are setting an example by
continuing a second year of pay
freezes for MLAs and cutting the

salaries of the Premier
Cabinet. In dollar terms that might
not amount to much, but it sets an
example. I believe that we can
manage through the difficult deci-
sions necessary to correct our
financial problems if we all see that
the burdens are being fairly shared.
large to
eliminate just by spending con-
trols. It is going to take a balanc-
‘ed approach. Some people are

The deficit is too

and

MLA

‘telling government to spend more

while others say tax less. The op-

posite may be what’s needed. .
Please continue to write to me /

with your advice on our budget

choices.

Squadron members -vill also be
moving and refurbishing a
heritage house from i location in
North Vancouver to Lynn Valley
Park in the spring.

‘The expanding role of the Ca-
fiadian Foreys’as part of the Unit-
‘ed Nations’ presence in Bosnia-
Herzegovina, Somalia and Cam-
bodia will require more unit
members (o volunteer to augment
the regular force.

Unit inquiries may be made to
the Forbes Armory at 666-4052.

David Schreck,

(North Vancouver
Lonsdale)

Legislative Office:
Parliament Buildings -
Victoria, B.C. V8V 1X4
Phone: (604) 356-3003

Community Office:

140 B Lonsdale Avenue
North Vancouver V7M 2E8
Phone: (604) 986-2254

ing the benefits o

youth, to have mashed the lower
vertebrae of my spine together
after taking a parachute jump
without adequate training.

For decades, J was told by suc-
cessive chiropractors from whom |
sought relief, that a water bed
would be bad for me.

What I really needed was a
plywood board under the thinnest
mattress possible in order to keep
the muscles busy, or something.

This is not intended as medical
advice, God knows, but, to para-
phrase John Lennon, all we are
saying is give sloshing a chance.

Just the sound of the water bed
comforts me. ft is so much more
au naturel, shall we say, than a
steel spring coiling in — or, worst
of all, breaking out of its metal
harness and stabbing into your
buttocks.

Squeak, squeak, as opposed to
slish-slurp.

I'm told by non-water-bed
people that there is some kind of
stigma attached to water beds, in
the forin of a sense that they are

“hippy-dippy.”*

Crue, they made their first ap-
pearance during the ’60s, and in
California, wouldn't you know it?

In Eastern Canada, I’ve notic-
ed, not too many people have
water beds. They think water beds §
are some kind of West Coast
thing, like hot-tubs, and (in the
old days) group sex.

When you think about it, water
beds were probably first conceived §
as a buffer against earthquakes. If §
nothing fell on you, it would sure
give the experience a mellower
twist.

Somebody should, of course,
get funding to do a PhD thesis, at
least, on what happens to the ’
dream life of people who sleep on
water beds.

I also think that’ hospitals
should be equipped with water
beds. The right to a water bed
should be a basic right of every
citizen, from birth to death. And
on this platform, if elected, 1 will -
we - float.

Get on board for all the sewest 1993 power boats, sail boats, :
personal watercraft, havury cruisers, fishing boats, and much more!

Shop | for exciting boating travel getaways and morine ovens

Meet BC's Olympic Salling Medal Ross MacDonald and:
Eric Jesperson i in the 32 THiobility Marine Facls Theatre! -

Aduts $7; Seniors $6; Juniors (ola $5; Family (2 adults; 2 ionic $20 (pls GS. 1] ;
Wed - Fri: Noon-10PM; Sat: 1OAM - OPM Sun: 1OAM- 6PM :

Outdoor
ab Quide ida

Canadian National Sportsmen's Shaws (1959) Lid

Caton Con Deae,
and THA
ECLA GOH,