HAVING been in both the education business and the parenting busi- ness, Ehave watched, sometimes in sheer ter- ror and sometimes with utter joy, the developing relationships berween teachers and parents, [will keep my advice to teachers for another tine, but this week [ would ike to offer a few insights for parents on how to best work with teach- ers. Let me begin by saying there is no magic formula for interpersonal success. Parents Parental Guidance and teachers come in all sizes, shapes and philosophies and there is no guarantee there will be perfect harmony. Add the permutation of children’s per- sonalities and you can see that the likelihood. of absolute smooth sailing — over a year of trying to stretch a student's abilities --- is limited. Yet, the vast majority of parents and teachers do work well togedier and P believe there is a good reason for it --- both have the same goal Parents want their children ta do well in school, Teachers want students to do well in school. A common goal can vo a long way in generating both conversation and ideas between people who may vast- ly differ on many issues, bur not on student achievement. This is the key to starting off good relationships with teach- ers. In those first moments of conversation, at the interview or over the phone, state emphatically that you are will ing to work with the teacher to help the child achieve suc cess, Immediately, vou are on the sane team Common goal established, it’s Time co move on to the strategies which might be used to achieve that goal, While a parent certainly knows their child better than most teach- ers, most parents do not understand the dynamics of a classroom teaching situation, nor is their view of their child's abilities necessarily accurate. If Thad a penny for every bril- liant child that has been pre- sented to me, I'd be ona yacht in the Mediterranean somewhere. That's not to say the child isn’t bright — they all are in some way, but in a class of 20 of 30, they may be quite average in some areas and may need some support from ime to time to do the necessary stretching. My sec- ond tip then, is for parents to listen with an open mind to what the teacher says. Don’t ith teachers start defending or denying, simply Hsten carefully and ask for examples for clantication. ‘Try ty see what the teacher is seeling. Ifthe teacher is noticing something that is new, ask them for advice. What can vou do at home to support what the teacher is doing, at school? What support services can you tap inte, either at school or in the community? Ifthe teacher is noticing something that vou are also dealing with at home, particularly in the behavioural mde, let the teacher know that it is already a concern and oudine the steps you are tak- ing, Ask if there is anything, you can do, in conjunction with them, to send a clear message to your child that his/her behaviour will be con- sistently monitored at home and at school and that there will be communication between the nev. Work to make sure this link happens on a regular basis so the child doesn’t have the opportunity Birthday Parties ! | from only’ 5 per person ! induding 3 games of Lasertag and then 1 hour in our Party Room with a pan size Pizza each & pop. H to manipulate information. Be a huge supporter of the child and the teacher. Even if you feel the teaching situation is nat the best, don’t lay this at the feet of your child. Work with your child to overcome any temporary setbacks they are facing. ‘Try to help them sce the teacher's point of view, or, if you can’t figure out what the teacher's point of view is, simply state that you will speak to the teacher, Speak and act, at least in the presence of your child, as though you believe any issues can be worked out, and express your confidence that the child and the teacher will do so. In the worst case scenano, where you honestly believe the teacher is a serious problem, work to fix this situa- tion with the school adminis- tation, not through your child. At worst, stay neutral. And finally, volunteer something, to the classroom. If you have time, give a little. If you have expertise in a topic they are covering, offer to speak. If you have connec- tions, offer them. If you can bake, send me (oops), the class some cookies. The casiest way to get along with people is to be an easy person to get along with. 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Expires Dec. 31/00 an ee ae ane ee on eo ee te wre re remind ourselves of on a regu- Jar basis, We need teachers to be good influences on our children and we should do whatever we can to help them do that. — ghookey@vahoo.com * ™ SS a or EF & Fa or FSU Fe ot £3 Gu Uncle Ravdy Prociuctions age, Amazing technicolor Dreamecat Centennial Theatre | Nov. 10 - 19 N. Vancouver om Nov. 9 Preview | And Ap 984-4484 id Ss TY Orphons Fund Preview Might... pert proceeds go to the kids.” 2:00PM matinee ond 2:00PM evening performances Tickets: $25 Adults / $21 Students Seniors / $17 Children - + applicable charges. Save $5 on ihe (RAW Orphers Fund Fumily Pockage - $5 also goes to the kids Group Tickets & Information - Cali 950-7942 aS=| (en FE al oe Insegh sed the Amating Iectuicaier Sreowseat is seeseased threegh speciel nasqeecet eth aed 38 secdeoned pecfo'meace woveceah wo1 sapphed by Corie Theatre txcernatrnenl, $45 Eighth Sevan, ew York, 2.1. 10005 ceemenr sm co i 1 Mame &