Friday, February 14, 1992 — North Shore News -— 7

INSIGHTS

Of naked priests, goats and Valentines

PVE BEEN married for
over 21 years now, and J
must say I can’t imagine a
more perfect partner.

I say that absolutely and un-
equivocally, with little ar no
regard for the sharp object she is
presently holding against what, I
think, is one of my vital organs.

But if I can inject one tiny crit-
icism, it is that she is an incredible
romantic. And no more so than
on Valentine’s Day.

You may be interested to know
that this modern-day ritual
celebrating lovers actually has its
roots in an ancient Roman festival
called the Lupercalia — a fertility
rite involving childless women,
naked priests of the college of
Luperci, and a goat. And I refuse
to say another word on the sub-
ject.

Later on, with the birth of
Christianity, the focus of the
celebration shifted because, well,
let’s face it, the whole thing was
becoming fairly disgusting.
Besides, the goats were unreliable.

Gradually, the festival became
associated with two third-century
Christian martyrs named Valen-
tine, one of whom used to send
heart-shaped bits of papyrus to
his lady friends. It is unclear why

both of them died, although I
suspect the Romans were just be-
ing thorough:

Roman — ‘‘Bring me this Mr.

Valentine character. He’s been

sending his girlfriend these

heart-shaped what-nots, and
now he's writing this sappy’
poetry, too. My wife is asking
why I don’t do the same for
her."’

Underling — ‘‘Bur there are

two Mr. Valentines, your

Caesarship.”’

Roman — ‘‘Right! Feed them

both to the lions!’

And they were both promptly,
and quite rightly, killed.

But some people refused to
forget what St. Valentine started,
and we are, to this day, saddled
with the yearly problem of coming
up with some new, surprising,
and, most important of all, deeply
romantic way of telling those
dearest to us how much we love
them.

This wouldn’t be so bad if your
dearest ones changed every couple
of years. You could repeat
yourself, you see, with no one be-
ing the wiser. But in my case,
we're talking 21 Valentine’s Days,
and, quite frankiy, I’m running
out of ideas.

This first five or 10 years were

! Let the Miss
Canada pageant
rest In peace

Dear Editor:

Good riddance to the Miss
Canada Pageant! The recent an-
nouncement confirming the
demise of this ceremony was wel-
comed by many as long overduc.

It was with stunned surprise
that I later picked up the North
Shore News to find columnists
upset at the disappearance of this
event from the annual TY listings.

Noel Wright (Jan. 10) chose to
place his support squarely in favor
of the continuation of ‘tone more
of life’s traditional, harmless
pleasures.”’

Wright would have us believe
that his past participation as a
pageant judge qualifies him to
challenge the general perception
that these events exploit women
for their bodies. Mr. Wright’s
response to this vital concern —
“that is baloney’? — is obviously
a conclusion reached after serious
and careful consideration of the
issues that surround the ‘females
as objects’” debate.

The exploitation is real. I know.
I grew up with Barbie and it took
me two decades to come to the
realization that my worth is not
measured by my ‘‘bust-waist-hip”’
dimensions.

As a society we regularly pay lip
service to tearing down stereotypes
in an attempt to get to all the im-
portant ‘‘stuff.”” It’s what’s inside
that counts — isn’t that what we
tell our kids? Skin color doesn’t

matter, wheelchairs don’t matter,
disfiguration doesn’t matter —
that’s not what makes the person.

While this is a basic premise
that most thinking individuals
would not dispute, its support in
practical situations is another
matter entirely.

How do we explain to a
seven-year-old that while Sooks
don’t really matter, her mother
just can't go out of the house
without her makeup on? What
can we do to get the message
across to her young minds that all
the makeup in the world won’t
boost her seif-esteem?

"
I don’t fit the puritan label nor

could I be called a ‘‘radical fem’’
as Noel Wright would describe
those of us happy with the
cancellation of the Miss Canada
Pageant. | do believe we must
work to change those situations
(and there are many) that reinforce
the false importance of the shape
and size of various parts of the
female anatomy. .

How many more anorexic
teenage girls need to be admitted
to our hospitals before this most
basic concept is understood?

Despite many changes during
Tecent years, the Miss Canada
Pageant is so fundamentally
wrong that it now ceases to exist.
Mr. Wright, let it rest in peace.

Debbie MeVittie
North Vancouver

N. Shore News Mailbox policy

LETTERS TO the editor must
include your name, written
legibly, your full address and
telephone number.

Due to space contraints the
North Shore News cannot

publish all letters. Published
letters may be edited for brevi-
ty, clarity, accuracy, legality
and taste. Letters can be faxed
to 985-3227.

Paul
Hughes

HUGHES’ VIEWS

no particular problem. You could
get away with chocolates the first
year, a book of Elizabeth Barrett
Browning’s love poetry the se-
cond, a gold locket the third, and
so on. However, once into the
double digits, things get a bit
touchy.

For a while, | considered writ-
ing her my own little love verses,
but somehow these always
degenerated into questionable
couplets beginning with, ‘‘There
was a young girl from Nan-

MAILBOX

44 In my case, we're
talking 21 Valentine's
Days, and, quite frankly,
I'm running out of ideas. 99

tucket...,’" so | abandoned the
plan.

Television advertising is filled
with ideas I haven't yet tried, all
of which cost slightly less than, oh
say, Bermuda. As for the dozen
roses routine, | used that old
standby from Valentine XV right
through to XIX, and it has lost
some of its ability to impress her
with just the right amount of mar-
ital points, if you get my drift.

I don’t want you to get the
idea, though, that my life partner
is anything less than gracious with
whatever I present her on St.
Valentine’s Day.

From the raushy card to the
wilted flowers, she has greeted

4

each with the same misty-eyed
look of complete happiness as if 1
had plopped the Hope Diamond
in her lap. The search for the
perfect way to say what I feel for
her is solely my agony.

Somehow, no matter what, it
never seems adequate.

This year ’'m well and truly
stumped. For some time, I con-
sidered resurrecting the goat thing,
until finally deciding that the idea
was best left buried in the mists of
Roman mythology.

Perhaps, { should simply say,
“Thanks, Sue, for being there ...
and, hey, I love you.”’

N VD shouldn't sell commen land

Dear Editor:

Regarding your Feb.’ 2 article
“*Road revenue rapped,’’ I sup-
port North Vancouver District
Ald. Ernie Crist’s motion that it is
“fiscally unsound’? to allocate
land-sale money for road con-
struction. As a matter of fact, I
was not even aware of this sad
policy.

During public hearings a few
years back, regarding the devel-
opment of housing projects
around the Rice Lake area in

Lynn Canyon Park, many
speakers made it clear that the
district should refrain from selling
commonly held land, leaving it in-
stead for future generations to
come.

This message seems to have
been ignored by the municipality.

Cutting waste on the municipal
level is the first action a taxpayer
would like to see to hold taxes at
their present level. It would be
helpful if the district would in-
form us where our tax money goes

and where it comes from. What
options are there to make an
educated choice as a taxpayer, and
a comparison of how other
municipalities, who do not have a
land-sale option, manage their
taxes regarding road construction?

An honest, “plain written,
educational information sheet
issued by the district would be of
great help.

Nachiko Yokota
North Vancouver