oa &. ’'M DATING a feminist for the first time in my life at age 39. What an experi- ence! 1 love her sexual assertiveness. She is so good at taking charge during sex that 1 don't know bow to reverse the roles once in a while. t's really a treat for me to be with a wornan who doesn’t expect me to do all the work from the seduction sight through giving multiple orgasms. But once in a while J would like to call the sexual shots. I would like to be the one who says wher, where end bow we'll have sex. How can I take the lead occa- sionally without turning her off — or letting ber think I don’t love her the way she is? A. Bravo that you love this new experience! I do not think you re- ally have to worry about upsetting a woman who is this bold by ask- ing for a little equality in the sex- ual assertiveness department. Say, ‘‘Darling, I love the way you take charge in bed, but occa- sionally | want to go back to the Victorian days.”" Maybe you could buy an um- brella and a bowler hat for yourself and some sexy but old- fashioned lingerie for her. When you come home wearing your hat and carrying your um- brella, that could be the signal for her to dress in the special lingerie and let you take charge. Also, br- ing home a single long-stemmed rose that night. Q. My husband, who is 12 years oider than I am, has peaked pro- fessionally and be knows it. I am, however, just coming in$o my own in the business world. Unfortunately, he is having sexual performance problems. The sex is only good now if I make some professional concession to be with bim. For example, if I cut short a business trip te get home because he has been complaining about my absence, the sex is great. If I leave the office early wken I really should be working because he 44 - Wednesday, September 18, 1991 - North Shore News De LIFESTYLES Fear of initiative cramping his style Dr. Ruth Westheimer ASK DR. RUTH asked me to, the sex is great. You get the picture. Whai can I do to make the sex better without making these grand gestures which could hurt me eventually at the office? He, by the way, denies the connection. A. You must go together to see a counsellor. If you don’t get this behavior in the open right now, you’re going tc be in real trouble soon, It may not take many sessions to work out the problem. He needs help in recognizing what he is doing to you, since he honestly doesn't see it. Unless he has to confront his behavior, he will continue making unfair requests of you. The situa- tion will escalate to the point where you have to choose between your marriage and your career. Get help now before it reaches that point! Q. I overheard a group of women talking about penis size in a bar last week. This is not the first time I've heard women put- ting a man down because he has a small penis. They are probably the same women who always answer survey questions about penis size by say- ing, ‘It really doesn’t matter.’ What hypocrites! How come you sever hear any- oue talk about vagina size? If the Fitness classes offered at recCentre Wm. Griffin A FITNESS class for people who are sensitive about their fitness level or body shape is being of- fered this fall at recCentre Griffin. Grand Beginnings is a program for women who are size 18 and over. According to Jody Sandler, Grand Beginnings will be a wel- come alternative to large women who have been intimidated by fitness classes or felt their needs were not met by regular fitness classes. The program, which starts Sept. 24 through Dec. 4, provides a new dimension to fitness classes. In addition to learning dance exercises and weight room pro- cedures, participants will also hear guest speakers present information on fashion, autrition, makeup, and hair design. The class will be held 10:15- 11:15. a.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays at recCentre Griffin. Participants are asked to regis- ter by Sept. 20. For information call Sandler at 984-9435. ATTENTION: T.W.U. PENSIONERS The Annual T.W.U. Pensioners Dinner/Dance will be held in Vancouver on Oct. 11, 1991 Due to postal uncertainties we are unable to mail your invitations and RSVP's as usual. if you are planning to attend Please call the T.W.U. at 437-8601 to register by Oct. 4, 1991 penis size is so important, why isn’t the size of a woman's vagina equally important? ! think this is just another example of women's unfairness to men. A. You rarely hear men discuss- ing vagina size because the vagina is clastic and accommodates penises of all sizes. Also, women can do exercises to increase elas- ticity, Sometimes 4 woman's vagina grows slack after the birth of sev- eral children. Surgical procedures exist for tightening the vagina which has been stretched. A penis, on the other hand, cannot be enlarged by surgery or exercises. _ In general, discussing vagina size isn't: fruitful. What is the point? However, I want to con- gratulate you on being such a good eavesdropper. You gave me a good letter — and a good gigele at the thought of you in that bar. Visionary Video _Value Pare HITACHI Superior picture and sound quality in monitor style TVs from Hitachi. Ex- perience surround sound with MTS stereo audio presence that doesn't need excra wire or speakers. Other features include on-screen menu, last channel 21” Stereo Special 29” high resolution, an amazing pic- ture with stereo and surround sound. 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