junkie. Such a statement 15s blasphemous, of course, and a crowd of unemployed reporters will soon be parading outside the News building demanding that Col- lins be turned into tomato ketchup. But [ cannot tell a he. | don’t miss the daily papers that much. In fact, life is a lot quieter without them. Being without the Van- couver papers is a bit like be- ing on holiday. Last August, for instance, | was in London while the Solidarity en- thusiasts were developing high blood pressure in these parts. But me, | was downing a pintin the Arab Boy, a nice pub in Putney For all 1 knew, the whole lower Mainland had disappeared into a black hole. Very relax- ing. And it is nearly the same now SPLIT SPLEENS Imagine how upset we would have been this last week or so if the dailies had been in action. They would have had a field day on the Expo story. There would have been banner headlines like “‘EXPO CANCELL- ED?”’ plus a dozen variations on the same theme filling half the paper. (Incidentally, have you ever noticed how good the headline writers are at asking questions when they should be giving answers?) The types we are talking about would also have split their spleens over Bill Ben- nett’s sensible new human tights legislation, and the more. watery-nosed colum- mists, So-called, would have been writing a_ latter-day Book of Lamentations. But thanks to their being on the picket lines or in the office picking thetr noses or out trv- ing to earn an honest living for a change, we've spared all that. The only ones who yearn been for such stuff, discounting those who write it, are Art Kube and his) Solidarity choir, the B.C. Teachers Federation, the depressing Jean Jeffries, the Vancouver Status of Women, and so on Speaking of the Status of Women, I'm glad that Ben- nett has killed their $83,500 a year provincial grant. I've been telling him to do that for years, and was beginning A9 - Friday, April 20, 1984 - North Shore News Thanks, Pacific Press, for a nice holiday T’S A FUNNY THING, but I don’t miss daily papers that much even though I’m a news get this straight by Doug Collins to think he needed an ear- trumpet. What a fine keen- ing the parlor-pinks would Turn Collins into ketchup have worked up over that move. You would have thought you were at a show- ° ing Of Apocalypse Now. But why should the public finance a_ little nest of adicals lke that? If they want money, let them hold a yake sale. STOAT EFFECT As | was saying, life is a lot quieter now that the presses al Pacific Press are silent. There’s not so much depress- ing news. Relative calm has fallen on the land. You can even kid yourself that Trudeau was a bad dream. Bankruptcies aren't played up as if they were the end of the world, and even the na- uonal debt seems to be a bit smaller. Say what you will, televi- sion doesn’t have the same influence as print, and even if it did you can always press a button and send the picture into orbit. Newspapers, however, have the same ef- fect on readers as a stoat does on a rabbit. Meanwhile, | hear that cer- tain well-known newspaper types are mvading the free- lunch circuit, they not being busy. Recently, three of them turned up uninvited at the Fraser Institute’s Bill Buckley fest, munching and guzzling away like mad. What's go- ing? | thought the Fraser In- stitule was against welfare. Anyway, you must be pleased to be left alone with a nice quiet fellow like me. Very relaxing! POTTER’S A BRITISH COLUMBIA COMPANY WITH... Zz POTTER'S KUM RHUM BLAM ) ———_— »—- Bottled a B.C. A 4 owt 1988) Fas vs 4 an eee) ee “4 re eet pe: : POTTERS | Sanyo SPECIAL ou l vad Larabee 1¢ Cocteasebie CAP 4H 8 TMP OAT ED: watch Wha IM PORTE: . oemeemne enamel rue 06008 3 edith Ot POTTER'S | gcotch Whisty PROUT OF SCOTLAND MonuET De LE CUN AE Ld eet a F:E9ES spewed is 0-0 bee canes aeceeres. A B.C. Company employing British Columbians