; Page 38, March 28, 1979 - North: Shore News

Hayden |
Stewart —

Freelance ,
Hayden Stewart may
reached at 261-6242 for
_ appointments for individual,
family or group counselling.
His new office in the Plaza

Counsellor
be

International Hotel (open
Tuesdays only) is. for -the
convenience of North Shore
residents.

QUESTION: I'm pretty sure
rll pass my grade XII and
then what I want to do is
travel for six months or 2
year. My dad can easily
afford to let me do it, but he
is dead set against it.

He says I should go to
university right away this
fall, or, as a second best
choice, get a job and work
for a year or two then go to
university. He says if I will
go to university In the fall
that he'll back me in some
summer travel, but if I refuse
to go to university, then it's
work, right away, without
any summer off.

He says he'll be able to get
me work through some sort
of pull he’s got. I just can’t
understand the money bit. If
he’s got lots of it, why can’t I
use a bit of it now while I
want to?

STEWART: Your dad isina
squeeze. He probably feels
he has helped you too much
already and has somchow
missed his chance to help
you understand “the money
bit”. He may have something

. ‘QUESTION:

little

sensitive. about crudities. I

_am very uncomfortable with - .

coarse people. I nearly . die

when I am thrown into a
situation in which there are

people who seem to like what
I call ‘bathroom humour’’.

I simply hate TV commerc-
ials that address themselves
to the business of selling
products that I think should
not be talked about openly.
simply
products related to matters
that I consider intimate and
private. I just cannot feel

there. Your letter sounds a

bit like the whines of a leech.

(Do leeches whine?) That
isn’t a crack at you really,
although it may sound like it.
Your dad may be thinking
that if you have learned as
about being in-
dependent as it seems, then
he should try to help you see
belatedly that life ain't easy.

What would you think of
getting a job for the summer
(even through your dad's
pull) and getting some part-

time work you could do

through your first year
university while you save
like mad for some travel
after your first year?

By then you will know a

whole lot more about the
money bit and a whole lot
more about how life works
and a whole lot more about
your dad’s desire to help you
in the best way he can un-
derstand, and a whole lot
more about university life
and whether you want to
continue in it after your
break.

Your dad sounds, (to you)
as though he is trying to be a

Reference services
popular at libraries

The high cost of living
accounted for the most
often-asked questions in the
reference department of the
North Vancouver District
libraries during 1978.

Buying and selling cars,
do-it-yourself home projects,
prices of antiques, collecting
stamps and = coins, = the
probating and preparation of
wills: all these were subjects
which could not be answered
from an encyclopedia, atlas
or dictionary, once thought to
be the staples of a reference
collection.

In answering approximate-
ly 26,000 questions, tibrari-
ans and staff used) many
different types of materials:

pamphlets, government
documents, clipping files and
periodicals are all necessary
for keeping up-to-date
information.

The club file, a listing of
clubs and organizations on
the North Shore, is a new
service which is proving very
useful,

Students of all ages
continuc to be heavy users of
the reference services and
many queries are related to
the multitude of courses
offered. The newly arranged
Reference area at the
Capilano Branch and the
separatc Reference room at
Lynn Valley are in constant
UAC.

| ‘Whenever he feels like it’

because they are

I guess you'-~comfortable’ about all that.
-could say that I am a bit

sort of thing.

‘} ams sure there are
hundreds of your readers
that fee] the same way. But,
do they have. the additional
embarrassments that I

suffer? My husband, who fs a

dear kind man and who is
well-versed and at ease in
most of the social amenities,

insists on his right to burp.

whenever he feels like it and

’ proceeds to do so in good

round stentorious tones and
without the slightest bit of
awkwardness.- It. -is just
awful. (He

Dad vetos travel
before university for son

bit tough on you. Your letter
sounds, (to me) as though he
may have a good idea. You
sound a bit soft. Are you?

I must confess I don’t feel
too good about suggesting
you get summer work, “even
through your dad’s pull”. I
know work is darn hard to

of all ages appreciate.
Select from —

PARKING IN FRONT

also makes.

it’s Spring
Jean-ing time!

For the casual look in fashion Sangar has the
answer. Good looking styles that men and ladies

Jeans & Cords
(Wide & Narrow Leg)
Shirts, Blouses, Slacks, Pants,
Summer Tops, T-Shirts & More!

SANGAR

Mens & Ladies Casual Wear
Located at.

EDGEMONT VILLAGE
“FOR YOUR SHOPPING EASE’

3055 WOODBINE DR.

Next to 1 Hour Martinizing)

another ‘contribution to my"
dismay, about which I have
no ‘way

to talk in . this
medium.) ~

I haye been frankly critical
of him but he laughs it off
and says’I am snobbish and
inhibited and thinking too
much about what people
think of me as a “proper
person’’. He also makes little
speeches to be about burping
being a natural thing that is

socially accepted in other ‘

cultures. What can I do?

STEWART: Tell him that
even if he is quite right about

find, but I find myself
wishing you would make one
big fat effort to find it on
your own. You just may
have a whole lot on the ball.
I hope you won't turn your
back on it and spend a few
months, or yéars wandering
around picking daisies.

967-6424

his burping . theories, and.
even if he is quite right about

‘your inhibiting: queasiness, ~

you are nevertheless left with
a situation that is’ very

difficult for you to handle and —

that you need from him some
help that he can easily offer
to you out of his love for-you.

Ask him if he would be

willing to lessen your embar- |

rassment (even though he

. feels it is not justified) simply

because it is hard for you to —

handle. Don’t ask him to

change because you think he

‘is crude, ask him to help you
ina
- difficult to deal with: graci-

situation you find
ously. Don’t make it an issue
in which Someone must win
and someone lose. Simply
ask him to help someone he
loves. Provide him with an
opportunity to give:

PLAY RACQUETBALL

AND SQUASH NOW!
THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN
JOIN FOR AS LOW AS

$250.

(plus monthly dues)

Lions Gate's economical squash and racquetball membership
iS designed for families that want to keep fil and active, and
have a good time doing it! Here's some of the features of the
Lower Mainland’s finest indoor racquets club

@ No court fees tor
squash & racquetball

@ Beautiful viewing
lounge

@ Lockers with saunas
@ Nursery

@ Use ot indoor &
outdoor tennis courts
during the summer
months

@ Resident pro offering
lessons & clinics

@ Matches arranged &
tournaments organized

@ Asocial program tor
meeting new friends

@ All facilities open now

@ Convenient location —
off Upper Levels &
Qapilano

For more intormation on this or other great Lions Gate
memberships call 980-5734 Christine or Sylvia will be
pleased to arrange a visit to the club

LIONS GATE J RACQUETS CLUB

1185 West 26th Street, North Vancouver

‘-

980-5734

4

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