46 - Wednesday. February 13, 1991 - North Shore News _

LIFESTYLES _
Is newlywed

addicted

Q. RECENTLY I. read an
article on sex addicts in one
of my wife’s magazines. I
am a little concerned I
might be one.

Dr. Ruth
Westheimer

ASK DR. RUTH

We've been married for six
months and we're both in our 20s.
{ want to have sex with her every
day and twice a day on the
weekends. We don't actually do it
that often, but I'd like to. We do
have sex four or five times a
week.

Does thal amount, and the time
1 spend fantasizing and thinking
about it, indicate a problem?

She says she is very happy with
our sex life. But after reading that
article I see how easily one can be
addicted without even knowing it.

She says if I read her magazines
alg the time I'd realize articles
about addictions are tike TV
movies. There has to be a new
disease every week. What do you
think?

A. Enjoy making love to your
brice and fantasizing about mak-
ing love to her, and stop worrying
about sex addiction! I really don’t
know what a ‘‘sex addict’’ is, but
I do know that the honeymoon
phase of a marriage can last a
year or more.

You are a honeymooner. As
long as both of you are satisfied
with your sex life, you don’t have
any problems.

Q. I want to tet your readers
know that having a hysterectomy

to sex?

doesn’t cause a woman to lose her
interest in sex.

Iam 30 years old now, and I
had a hysterectomy when I was
59. My hushand and I continued
to enjoy a wondérful sex life until
he died iast year.-

But 1 do have a concern. It
seems I am siill interested in sex,
about once a month. Is that ab-
normal or unusual at my age?

I do masturbate at these times
and that satisfies me. In a recent
column you advised another older
woman to use a vibrator. Would
that make masturbating even more
pleasurable for me?

A. Bravo to you! I won’t com-
ment on your doctor. Everyone
over age 65 and every woman who
has had a hysterectomy at any age
should read your letter.

The desire for sex does not
disappear because the uterus has
been removed. It doesn’t have to
disappear with age either. There is
nothing ‘‘abnormal’’ or
“unusual’’ about your continuing
libido.

Yes, a vibrator might enliven
your fife! But be careful not to
harm those delicate tissues, which
are a little thinner and drier as we
age.

Q. Pve been going with a miar-
ried man for two years.

He is getting a divorce, but his
wife is making it difficult. They
have been working on 2 divorce
for most of the time I’ve known
him. .

Lam wondering if the stress of
this is what has caused him to be
less interested in me sexually.

I want to be understanding. Is
there anything I can do sexually to
make him as excited about me as
he was at first?

Aiso, I don’t want to make any
mistakes with him. When his
divorce finally comes through, I
want to marry him. What can I
do in bed to make sure that hap-
pens?

A. Nothing! But, you can do
something for yourself,

Take a pad and pen and write
the following: ‘‘I deserve a good
relationship with a man who
makes me feel sexually desirable.
This is not a good relationship. 1
will give him 30 days. If he isn't
separated by that time, I will get
out of this relationship.’’

‘Saliy Ann’ appeals
for more volunteers

THE SALVATION Army Greater
Vancouver Red Shicld Appeal
begins on Mon. May 6 but they
need volunteer canvassers and
zone organizers now.

The Red Shield Appeal is the
Salvation Army’s annual major
fund raising effort which helps to
support a network of programs
and services for people in the
community who need help.

A network of progams is made
available to abused women and
children, the homeless and
hungry, alcoholics and drug ad-

dicts, teenagers in trouble with the
law, and unmarried mothers.

“Volunteers make a big dif-
ference to the Army organization
and we greatly appreciate their
help,’” say organizers.

People interested in becoming
volunteer canvassers can donate as
little as two hours of their time.
Individuals able to share more of
their time may want to enquire
about zone managing positions.

For more information call the
North Shore chapter of the Salva-
tion Army, 986-0479.

Author to speak in NV

AWARD-WINNING author, Kit
Pearson, will participate in the
Writers In Libraries Program tak-
ing place at the North Vancouver
City Fibrary, 121 West 14th Se.
on Feb. 19 and Feb. 21.

Pearson won the 1990 Canadian
Library Association Book of the
Year Award for Children and the
1990 Geoffrey Bilson Award for
Historical Fiction for Young Pco-
pie for her book The Sky Is Fall-
ing.

The Writers In Libraries Pro-

gram is being presented by the
North Vancouer City Library and
is funded by a grant from B.C.
Cultural Services,

Pearson will read) from her
newest book and talk about the
challange of writing. Potential
authors interested in constructive
criticism may also arrange for an
appointment with Pearson.

For more information and to
pre-register for the program call
Joyce Moller, 980-4424.

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