te z 6 - Wednesday, March 16, 1988 - North Shore News INSIGHTS Tell the Svends to stop monkeying with English! “T DON'T CARE WHAT THEY DO, so long as they don’t do it on the street and frighten the horses,"’ says a liberated lady character in a Victorian novel. I {cel the same way about Svend Robinson, Laurier LaPierre and their sexual soulmates — so long as they conduct their frolics in private and allow me simply to forget they exist. Unforgettable (and un- forgivable), however, are the things they’re doing to the English language. Twenty years ago ‘‘gay”’ was stilla happy, carefree adjective, universally used. Today ,if you compliment a man on his gay necktie — or thank your hostess for her gay dinner party — you isk a punch on the nose or a sharp slap on the check. And that's only a beginning. Other once-innocent words like “consent’’, ‘‘alternative’ and “lifestyle are becoming suspect. Now, even my wardrobe is en- dangered — Svend and Laurier having just hijacked the word “eloset."* Henceforth, anything ART JONES...voice of excellence. that comes out of it will automatically rate as belonging to an “alternative lifestyle’. What will we think in Cuture of such sexually straight types as ‘‘closet Liberals’, ‘closet poets" and “closet drinkers’? Can one ever again be ‘closeted’* with one’s lawyer, broker or accountant without people presuming the worst? And those ‘skeletons in the closet"? — were THEY all once “pays? Do what you will, Svend and Laurier, behind closed doors. But for God's sake stop monkeying with our mother tongue! “PLACE OF EXCELLENCE" — the description of West Van that former mayor Derrick Humphreys made his trademark — are the closing words in the 35-minute video of the community’s 75th Anniversary last year. It's called GERTIE TODD...St. Patrick's birthday piri. School traffic EST VANCOUVER’S Collingwood School has reason On its side for proposing an ex~- Y tension to its present facilities. Yet area residents are opposed to the scheme. They are concerned over increased traffic problems in the British Properties caused by a rise in Collingwood schoci enrolment. Increased schoo! enrolment may in- deed increase traffic problems, but school enrolment quotas are not at issue in the Collingwood expansion bid. The private school is proposing an expansion to upgrade school facilities and to aid in accommodating a further 100 studests who are registered for the 1988-89 school year. Collingwood officials have stated | that there will be increased enrolment at the school next year whether the expansion is built or not. In- . creased enrolment — meaning increased traffic — will , occur regardless of Collingwood expansion. However, unlimited growth of the school population in the future is a legitimate concern for local residents. No one wants to see a mega-schooi built in the middle of a residential neighborhood. If the school proposes this expansion in the future then British Properties res- idents have a legitimate reason to protest. For now, Collingwood School’s expansion plans are for a school of moderate size and limited enrolment. Residents will have to get used to the increased traffic. Let the construction begin. -| Wednesday, Friday and Sunday by North Shore Free NOEL WRIGHT “Cheers For 75 Years", produced by Michael Wilson and narrated by Art Janes, After seeing it, Mim pretty sure every (rue Tiddlycovian will tove it and be proud to show it to out-of-town guests on the VOR, Asa memento of an exciting year, the video covers all the main celebrations of 1987. But it atso includes much of general interest on West Van — its past and pres- ent. Production and photography are highly professional, and Art Jones’ narration is excellent, The price of dub tapes (VHS or BETA) is estimated at around $35. However, they aced to know the potential market before placing an order, If you'd like your own copy of the tape (and/or one to use as a gift), write or callthe Parks & Reereation Dept., Municipal Hall, 750-17th St., West Van — 922- #211, local 208 — as soon as possible, fo sign up as 1988-89 members of North Shore Community Concerts, which brings them world class per- formers for only $7 per concert, Far info call 986-7717 or Ernie Timbers, 988-8696 — or you can join tomorrow and Friday in per- son, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m, at the Cen- tennial Theatre. eee WRIGHT OR WRONG: There is: a time to wink as well as to sce. @ WRAP-UP: In case you missed the Local-Girl-Makes-Good Dept. in Rigtowa's Sunday’s Enquirer last weekend, 61-year-old Playboy Hugh Hefner's latest girlfriend of record is 1981 West Van Secondary grad Kimberley Conrad. After gracing the centre spread of January’s Playboy, Kim moved in- to Hefner's L.A. mansion two months ago .... Gertle Todd, in- destructible founder and president of the Miss North Shore Pageant, celebrates yet another 39th birth- day tomorrow (St, Patrick's Day, March 17) by inviting you to an open house from noon onward at her Perfect Setting wedding bouti- que, 124 West 16th, North Van. it’s also the fifth anniversary of the store itself... Meanwhile, with two concerts still to go in the cur- rent season and this year's membership, alas, fully sold out, it's none too early for music lovers eer NEWS photo Nell Lucente HOW IT’S DONE...Versatile Shipyard supervisor Rolan Webb (I) ex- plains the command centre of the Coast Guard vessel ‘Henry Larsen", buiit at Versatile, to a Continuing Education class of shipbuilding en- thusiasts, Publisher ........... Peter Speck Display Advertising 980-0511 Managing Editor. . . . Barrett Fisher Classilied Advertising 986-6222 Associate Editor Noel Wright newsroom eas 2151 . ne INS g Distribution 986-1337 Advertising Director . Linda Stewart Pecan hs: Subscriptions 986-1337 North Shore News, founded in 1969. as an independent SVNOAY * WEDrERNAY ¢ FeuDay Fax 985-3227 suburban newspaper and qualified under Schedule 111, 1339 Lonsdale Avenue, News Tips 988-NEWS Paragraph 1! of the Excise Tax Act, is published each North Vancouver, B.C. gress Lid. and distrnuted to every door on ine Nowtn V7M 2H4 nore. Second Class Mail Registration Number . Subscriptions Norih and West ‘fancouver, $25 per year. 58,489 (average, Wednesday Maiting rates aveitable on requesi. Submissions are = Friday & Sunday) welcome bul we cannot accept responsibility for unsolicited material including manuscripts and pictures a which should be accompanie a slamped. addresse: envelope. ° Y re SDA DIVISION North Shore owned and managed Entire contents © 1988 North Shore Free Press Ltd. All rights reserved.