THE BIGGEST OBSTACLE to driving in the Highlands of Scotland was cows, such
as this occupant of a passing place and the sheep. (Colin Fraser photo)

By ANDY FRASER

‘Your spare’s in the boot,
so’s the jack and here's your
keys.’ That, in the rich
Ayrshire dialect of the young
Scot was the sum total of my
instruction for the hiring of a
car for a month of driving in
Britain - that _ singularly
unique nation who can't
understand why the rest of
the world is backwards when
it comes to ways of the
automobile.

The young attendant was
at least kind enough to point
out the geiteral direction of
Edinburgh from the parking
lot where we stood at the
tiny airport in Prestwick on
Scotland's west coast.

From here on we were on
our own and wonder of
wonders, it was fun! Oh
sure] sweatedblood that first
76 miles across the country,
and of course I managed to
get lost in virtually every city
- and always during rush
hour, and of course I threw

the odd temper tantruf
when driving in what ap-
peared to be ever

diminishing circles around
roundabouts.

But it was not a horror
story and we didn’t spend all
our time worrying about
what side of the road we
were on

Any competent” driver
should be able to handle the
roads in Britain as long as
he or she 1s aot a ‘nervous
Nelhe’ and is prepared to be
lost some of the lime

We carried two or three
different sets of maps and it
was most interesting to
discover that each set was
just different enough from

the other to raise some.

genuine doubts in our minds
about where we were and
where we were going.
However, it usually worked
out in the end, because
where we were going was
totally different from what
any of the maps said.

The roads are narrow.
Very narrow. The most
difficult bit to catch on to
was learning to judge how
much space on the left side
between the side of the car
and the either (a) the hedge:

(bd) the house; or in Scotland
(c) the sheep. No shoulders,

no gu , ho sides worth
talking about. |

And of course, that led to
the parking. They have a
unique sense of priorities
regarding parking. It seems
that the simplest way to
describe it is ‘anything goes’.

If you park on the op-
posite side of the road facing
the oncoming traffic - so
what! The space taken up ts
the same no matter which
way you point. But it does
throw you when you belt
around a corner and find
some little three whecled
motorized machine pulling
out facing you That's when
you begin to wonder about
what side of the road you're
supposed to be on

In fact. all the traffic laws

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riving backwards

in Britain appear to be based
on the concept of ‘do it’.
They seem to park anywhere
and everywhere, no matter
how narrow the street. And
it works.

There’s very little use of
the horn, people just flash
their lights at you, which was
kind of fun once I figured
out where the lights were.

Of course the higher up in
Scotland you go,.the less
trouble with other vehicles
and the more problems with
sheep and cattle. Mind you,
by then you have decided
that the slow and easy pace
of the sheep is probably a lot
healthier and you have no
desire to rush madly all over
the roads.

One physical or
geographical feature which
is a must for the North
American who ends up in
Britain behind the wheel is
the fact that those old cities
are ail built like a wheel with
the hub being the centre and
the spokes being the streets.
It is not, we discovered
much to our chagrin, on a
squared grid system like over
here.

And that's why they don't
have normal intersections,

CONTINUED ON PAGE C11

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A lot of people want to
escape for Christmas.
Although it may be the
“season to be jolly” for most
of us, it is anything but jolly
for people who, by some
quirk of fate are suddenly
left alone. It’s pure bloody
awful for newly widowed,
divorced or separated in-
dividuals.

A lot try heading for
places far away. Leave the
pain, leave the familiar,
leave the country.

What can one expect?

There are whoopy-ding :

cruises that program fan-
tastic meals and en-
tertainment between the
24th of one month till the Ist
of the next. Not cheap but
for some, better than staying
home.

England celebrates
Christmas in a_ wholly
traditional way but the trick
is finding the right inn in the
country.

Germany celebrates with
musical festivals, traditional
foods and packages are
available. Ome, through
Lufthansa Airlines, crossed
my desk the other day. From
grand balls to the Vienna
Boys’ Choir, it ain’t cheap
but surely different.

The Mediterranean
countries celebrate
Christmas with religious
festivals but it’s mighty low-
key compared to North
America.

" Hot countries have an
added bonus. Although the
airport in Honolulu may be
playing ‘‘Frosty the
Snowman” it isn't hard to
forget pine trees and
flickering lights when you're
body surfing off Kaanapali.

The Mexicans stage
processions featuring masks
and crosses. If you don't
want to be reminded, head
for the beach with a large
glass of tequilla.

We North Americans take
the whole thing much harder
than any other group of
people. Don't blame it on
TV or the shopping malls.
We were firmly entrenched
ina traditional way = of
celebrating Christianity's
biggest blast since back to
the pilgrims or pioneers Just
read some of the literature
about Christmas feasts in
Upper Canada. Un
fortunately, all geared to
family and frends.

If you're alone, there's NO
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en

_ C9- Wednesday, November 4, 1981

you to hide during the
Christmas season.
Australia, even in hot

spots like Queensland, does
the whole British tradition
bit — huge meals featuring
hefty cuts of pork, beef,
poultry and game followed
by body numbing cuts of
pud. All that when the
temperature is hovering near
the cooking point.

trayel-
wise

by Barbara
McCreadie
me

Look, I don’t want to spoil
your escape. You think you
can’t handle it here? You

passport |

photos
NORTH SHORE

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while you wait
1527 Lonsdale -988-9812

- North Shore News

‘may be right. But, before

you spend a king’s ransom
on a_ cruise, resort or
caravan, give it a bit more
thought. Someday You'll.
have to face the music —
and the tinsel —- and the gifts
— or lack -of same, right
here. Better now than later!

If you’ve got any second
thoughts, try making an
effort to get together with
others who have the same
problems. Give a gift or ten
to underpriviledged kids
through Big Brothers or Big
Sisters. Offer your help to
one of the local service
groups.

Join “Parents Without
Partners” or place an ad in

the paper. Reach out and
touch someone.
But, don't waste a

premium bundle of cash
“escaping”.

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