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1OooinnesO CENTS:

Use this cdupiin tqwands any Toyoea Service or fepa

im a good driver... reati

PEOPLE occasionally
ask me if I am as good
a driver as implied by
this here weekly traffic
column.

“Better,” I assure them.
“Much better.”

After all, I can hold a pip-
ing hot double-tall, high-fat,
no-foam, vanilla latte, light a
smoke and turn lett acrass a
six-lane highway using my
knee with the best of them.

And my fancy feats of mar-
vellous motoring don’t end
there.

Sometimes, when waiting,
to turn left, Pl use the occa-
sion ro surf the radio dial.
When it is clear to go I am
blissfully unaware of the
opportunity to complete the
turn. Only when hear the-
blaring horn of the car
behind me harmonizing with
the blaring horns of the cross-
traffic do snap to.

Invariably, I end up stuck
on some dismal soft-rock sta-
tion!

At this paint I complete

Steamed

= so, were the. windows~ leak

the turn, being sure to keep
my eyes fixed straight ahead
and completely ignoring
those drivers chomping at the
bit -:id dying to broadside
me. I keep my eyes fixed for-
ward for the next few blocks
so anyone scooting up beside
me with a fandful of gestures
and mouthful of select
superlatives go unnoticed.

Parking? I’m a whiz. :

If fm parallel parking I
usually just jam it in a curb- _
side spot, leave my car slightly
askew and fling my door open
and hope that no one honks.

If I'm pulling into a park-.
ing stall at the shopping mall

T try to straddle the fine that *

“other leaks.” 002 =

, The leaks are just-as bad

ing:

‘miss, ‘and withdut costing-an’”

welcome, -

YOUR. CLEAN

" Ariy ideas would be most.

separates my spot from the
next, Often; however, Pm
thwarted by the presence of!
another car and merely park
on the fine rather than over
it. ;
Speeding? I’m a demon, .
actually — but clever enough
to recognize those conspicu-
ous Chevy vans sitting shoul-_
der-side and far-sighted
enough to see the radar guns
of the boys in blue who kind-
ly wear bright, easy-to-see yel- ”
low raincoats this time of - .°”
year. The boys in yellow.”

Speaking of far-sighted, —
T’m an ace at running red ~~
lights. Well acquainted with ~ -
the “stale green” phise of a
traffic light’s cycle, I often
speed up if a light is tareaten:
ing to change. Sometimes I
get it up to L00km/h before
the light turns yellow. That’s
oh so invigorating.’

Oh yes, Pm a much
driver than 1 let on iti,
columns. 2.5 5

CAR EXPERIENCE