10 - Wednesday, September 9, 1992 — North Shore News Squamish initiate treatment for abusive males Change of Seasons program ON THE small, circular table are the things from the past. —- an eagle feather, cedar boughs, bowls of sweet grass and sage. By Paul Hughes Contributing Writer On the walis are the things from the present — several large sheets of paper on which are writ- ten the raw ‘feelings: of the men who regularly meet in this room. The men “who gather here are ‘violently -ebusive. Their victims - “are the ones they love the most — their. families. And the feelings that. are scrib- bled on the sheets of paper echo - * the pain. of the men who ‘wrote them. They are full of rage, tor- ment and fear. . They ..also . represent the _ first, mall step in :the.healing process that these men learn by enroiling in the Change of: Seasons Pro- gram, a‘ concept: of dealing - with family. - violence - “developed by Robert. Kiyoshk in cooperation with the Squam::h Nation. The program is specifically aimed at native men. ~ Kiyoshk pointed out that there are services to help the victims of abuse, but few to help the abusers to. break the circle of victent behavior, . ° “Many abusers were once victims ; themseives. , . Aside from. Kiyoshk, there are _ four members of the program who Bre ‘currently undergoing a: six- fionth - training course to learn Strategies for combating. family ‘violence. ov: Edward Baker, Marcel . Fon- : taine; . Ross Muehifarth and .. Robert Nahanee. began their train- _ing in’April and will finish later this month, when they will become facilitators for groups of abusive men. » «The waining focuses on ‘‘per- .senal wellness.” The trainees reg- larly-have sharing circles where ghey ‘are sncouraged ta voice their feelings. Mr ee (2) essence, program first others through it. y experience the before _ helping ‘but what _self- or agency referrals. Said Kiyoshk, ‘‘Rather thar follow a strict lecture formai, we become an abusive men’s group. We walk through the exact con- tent that would be taught."* He added that this is particular- ly important because men do not traditionally express their feelings well. “Certain things are supposed to be uncomfortable for a man. Em- barrassment. If he can’t express these things they will eventually come out in anger.’” The program utilizes many traditiona! spiritual practices such as cleansing smudges and cold- water baths. There is a need for the strong emphasis on native culture because many abusers have icst touch with who they are. “They know they are Indian, is an indian?’’ - said Robert Nahanee. ‘‘This program gives them an opportunity to identify .themselves; to open the doors to their spirituality.” Abusers join the group through Partici- pants are also referred through the - courts. . Ross Muchifarth suggested that men who are up on assault charges should be given the chance to participate in an abusive .Men’s group as an alternative to a jail sentence. . “incarceration really doesn’t help to change behavior in any way,” he said, Once undergoing an assessment to determine if the abuser is likely to benefit from the program, the participant attends a two-hour healing session every Wednesday evening at the day centre on the Capilano reserve. Using the culture as a focus, the men are encouraged io ‘express their emotions through the sharing circles, the sweat lodges and the strictly male socialization that the program calls for. Although the purpose is to change the abusers’ behavior, the “facilitators do not believe in the “holier than thou’’ approach. *“*We don't say we're any better than them because we all come from the same environment,’ said Muehlfarth. Added Kiyoshk, ‘“‘We don’t place blame on them. We try to Waterfront lots for saie! ‘Rare opportunity to.purchase waterfront & “> on the River. Choice of 8 Waterfront lots, . : 8 Riverview lots _Private launching to great sailing Spectacular: Views Private swimming beach & tennis court » Across the river from Rowena, a 2 miles west of Doug’s Beach ‘the ONLY available WATERFRONT. sailing community on the river Reserve your lot now!! The Gorge Partnership (604) 731-8602 local (503) 386-3899 Hood River NATIVE AFFAIRS give them the tools to understand their abusive behavior so they know when to say ‘Time Out.’ ” The statistics related to abuse are frightening. Marcei Fontaine said that 80% to 85% of women living in native communities are victims of abuse. When asked why the incidents of violent behavior against women are so high, Nahanee pointed to several factors, including alcohol, drugs and the way society itself has stereotyped Indians as being of less worth. Kiyoshk said that although a Band hosts men’s issues THE SQUAMISH Nation Social Development Depart- ment is hosting the Men's Issues Conference, Sept. 23 through the 25, at the Capilano reserve longhouse, 100 Mathias Rd. The conference will use workshops to explore ap- proaches in dealing with family native man may be made to feel inferior and powerless outside the home, the situation changes once he is back within the famiiy circle. “That’s the one piace he does have absolute control. He may be out of control in the workplace; he may be a subordinate. But the home is one place where he can exert some power.”” The former residential school system is also cited as a factor in family violence. Under the system, generations of native chitdren were removed from their homes, put into board- ing schools and denied access to both their culture and their fami- lies. These children eventualiy grew violence within aboriginal communities. Resource people from various backgrounds will discuss traditional aboriginal, lay and clinical approaches to therapy. The Change of Seasons pro- ject will be coordinating the events, Students, social workers, up with virtually no knowledge of normal family life. ‘*You have generations . of our pecple who have no_ parents! skills,” said Meuhlfarth. ‘The generation that has come since (the closing of residentia! schools) is still dealing with that.” However, despite all these con- tributing elements, Nahance Stresses that these are only ingre- dients in an abuser’s character, not excuses. “The motto of our "Change of Seasons project is: ‘No Excuse for the Abuse.’ ’” For further information: on.the’ .. Squamish ‘Nation “Change: of Seasons program . contact: ‘Bob Kiyoshk — 986-9015. conference : legal advocates, © professionals; and laypersons interested~ ue working. within’. "aboriginal * communities in’ the: area. of family violence are invited to attend. For information on registra- : tion or further information, ~~ please contact Bob Kiyoshk ‘at - 986-9015 or Walter Knott’ at 985-4111, _ And You I | Say met “WEIGHT bier: 04. call Weight Watchers today. And get prepared to to handle a whole lotof compliments. > a 62 ee 1 a, ed ed ATTEND A weETiNG NS NORTH VANCOUVER CENTRE #102 - 123 East 15th Strest HAORDAYS......00.sccessecsessssssserssersnsecseeeee 00 PRA ..$:30 AM, 5:69 PM & 7:00 FM vee 5280 PH & 7:00 PM ooo 2:30 PM & 7:00 PA cosenesaneeneeseeG:00 ARR Offer vata 18 ‘9726/52 in Arca 968, 8.C.. Cannot be combined with any other special prices Tuesdays.. Wodnesdays. Thursdays.......... Saturdays. : YOU'VE GOT IT IN YOU ™ TO GET IT OFF YOU": West Vancouver Masonic Hall 1763 Bolisvue Westies days...o-eseveeeesees42e 8 PR & 7:00 prices of discounts, Cannot be used for AT WORK or COMMUNITY MEETINGS. 1992 Weight Watchers Intl, Inc, owner of the registered trademare All rights reserved. Individuunl weight loss may vary.