SOME years ago there
was a very successful
film starring Erad Pitt
entitled Seven.

It categorized the seven
so-called weaknesses of man
which emanated from biblical
times and expressed them
through a bizarre tale of
murder and horror.

“[ thought it might be

interesting to exploit these -

, deadly sins of humankind in
a less violent’vein, and ‘to dis-
cuss them: from a physical
activity /athletic point of view

‘ (ordack thereof). IF 1 do hit a

“nerve along the vay only you

Will know and maybe as a

». result will adopt 2 more dis-
“ciplined.approach to ‘your °
own wellness goals. .-.

»: Remember, be good to
yourself. Be patient. Be kind.

‘Be forgiving. fe all,'you’re -

all you've got!
: “Gluttony: .

You're ving dinner with’

yeu significant ¢ other at a
local ‘pasta joint and order

the largest meal on the menu...
along, with a huge pitcher of

beer, at the same time telling:

the: waiter you’re carbo load- :

ing for your upcoming
marathon ‘run some. fou
months. down the r road, oe

responds by ordéring the:
death-by cho olat:

cake, served with six forks
(get the idea). When you
give her the ‘eye’ she tells
you to sod off because she
too has to make sure she’s
getting enough ‘calories to
keep her mentally alert for
the bridge game with her
girlfriends the following day.
You’ll know food has
taken the place of sex in

: your life when you install a

mirror above the dining
room table.
Greed, : .
: This is. a truly unpleasant

characteristic: of our species

and T'can think of. many

“examples when J pick-up the

paper‘and read about hockey.
players turning down $5 mil-

‘lion annual contracts because

they think they are worth “

more (God only knows why). .

As this ‘is supposed ‘to be a

: less ‘somber comment on ath-

letics, I will pass on the ¢ cate-

» gory today. weet

> Sloth |
: You: missed a workout but

really weren't as sick as you
told your training buddy and
besides, meditation in front
of the boob tube is very
important for mental
imagery, especially when The
Young and The Restless is on..
Yeah right.

“It is possible to appear
busy, very busy....without
actually being very effective.”
(Just take a look at our own
local councillors).

Envy

Okay, so you’ve entered
the focal !0km race and have
spent cight weeks priming
and conditioning your body
into a tightly coiled stcel
spring waiting to unwind and
destroy the competition. The
problem is you didn’t exactly
do all the training required

. and that spring ain’t coiled

too tightly, In fact it’s hang-
ing over your running shorts
and you just have to think of
a reason. for not being able
to beat your training buddies
and look bad (in your cyes

anyway).

On race morning you
show up with a pasty com-
plexion (courtesy of the :
wife’s face powder) and tell - :
everyone within half a mile

you had really. pianned to be +”

ready for the event but you:
came down with the bubonic
plague just a couple of weeks’

“ago.and: your Orthopedic.

Surgeon has just, diagnosed
latent rickets which could
prove fatal if you go all out.

But, like a brave soldier

you'll get out there anyway
and do your best. Makes you
want to gag doesn’t it?

“Never complain about
your problems. Eighty per-
cent of people aren’t interest-
ed and the other 20% are
happy you have them.”

Wrath

Halfway into a tough
marathon swim you become
so frustrated with getting
bashed around by the waves
you start swearing and shout-
ing at them for being so
unfair and persistent. After
realizing that losing contro!
isn’t going to affect the
weather you sete down,
stop acting like a child and
set to the task ahead.

“In the confrontation
between the stream.and the
rock, the stream always wins
— not through strength but
by perseverance.”

Pride

You’ve finally made the

decision to start running as a

means of losing that extra
“weight and after preparing
_ Yourself mentally you realize
" you’re not’as ready as you
thought.
“Not wanting to be seen as

a novice (image is everything:

" you know), ) you drive, not

walk, to the local running
store and outfit yourself with
a pair of the most expensive,
flashy running shoes avail-
able. While you're at it you
invest in a second skin jog-
ging suit ($300) for when
it’s too hot, the Gore-Tex
outfit for when it’s too wet
(another $400) and the
Patagonia-styled suit with
matching balaclava and
gloves for when it’s too cold
($500).

After buying all that stuff

you're exhausted and your

mouth feels like the bottom
of a bird cage so off you trot
to a local eatery for a double
latte grande and a.French
pastry. There’ s always
tomorrow.

“Most people rust before
they wear out.”

Lust :

You've just seen this’
incredibte babe at the inau-
gural meeting of the locai

marathon training clinic and -

decide — this is the sport for
you. You know she/he feels
the same way about you -—

: well she/he would if she-.
knew you actually existed —

so out comes the muscle.‘

_ Shirt and $100 running

tights to suck in and dghten
that otherwise Arnold-like

. physique. |
‘As the weeks unfold the. oS

training becomes much

tougher, the weigl.t isn’t
coming off (just. got to cut.
down on the beer) and your
dreamboat is beginning to
look fess like a goddess/god.
After two more long runs -

you decide she really isn’t.
that cute — she/he also runs ©
faster than you — and in fact
probably has some bizarre
character defect that would’
prevent you hitting it off..,
Heck, you say, I didn’t
really fancy her/him ‘anyway ~,
as you dump your running
gear into the nearest disposal”
bin, light up a smoke and...

head off to the nearest bowl. .

ing alley.

“We do not see things 3 as.
‘they.are — we sec things’; as’.
we are!”

So there you have it you, ;
bunch of sinners — go out .
into.the world:and absolve: ,

.yourselyes, cleanse your.
souls, :

‘And. while you’ reat it
_stop making ‘excuses and g
your head-on straig

“Remember, “Few: men'in

\ their lifetime come anywhere

near.to exhausting th
resources that dwell w

Collins is a’ physica

trainer and athletic coach as

Swell'as ‘an. accomplished ultra

‘endurance runter ar

” marathon : swimmer: Heian’

be reached. at (604) 921-072