a C8-Wednesday, October 15, 1980 - North Shore News QUESTION: I am sincerely and seriously interested in | improving my life and becoming the sort of person who is really all together. God knows [I've tried everything I can think of. (Except going to you for counselling!) When a person has really tried as hard as | have and js still not getting the feeling he bs making much headway, what's the one word you can say to him? STEWART: Boy! What an opening for me to say, “Come tomefor counselling.” But that is five words, not the one you want. Instead of the five and instead of the one, would you settle for three? Anyway, here they. are. 1 & 2 — QUIT TRYING; and 3 — LISTEN! It's important to keep it in QUESTION: [m captured by the terrible ‘habit of always the worst for myself. I know it ts logical and that even the law of averages is against it, brut that’s the way I am. For me, I expect anything that can go wrong to do so — and most of the time it does. On many occasions, things have gone wrong in exactly the way I expected them to. Why am I like that and what can I do about it? that order. You are trying so hard and in so many. ways, that your inner self begins to believe that you don't have much confidence in it, or much hope for it. So quit trying for a while. Accept yourself and your reality exactly as you see them. Say, “This is what it’s like with me and I accept that it is like that with me. That's how I am.” Only when you accept who you are, aS you are, are or the STEWART: I think you're right in calling it a habit. You were probably taught or conditioned to develop that attitude when you were quite young. It's a habit that Strengthens until you recognize it and lay it low. Ancient literature gives many warnings against being blinded and paralyzed by it. For example, “As a man thinketh in his heart (sub- conscious) so is he”. have the right, You the op- you ready for much change. And when you accept yourself as you are, you are then ready to LISTEN. Listen to your own higher self. Pay attention to your centre. There. That's enough. If I say too much about such a difficult thing to put into words, Ill either lose you altogether, or say so much that it will seem to you that you should try hard once more to pay attention portunity and the respon- sibility to make another choice about what you keep telling your subconscious. You can CHOOSE to create your own reality consciously rather than living as though that “habit” has power over you. Make NEW choices. Drive in another lane. Throw out the old pattern. Get off your stump. The good for you is all around you. Reach for it. IS COMING WHY WAIT? RE-UPHOLSTER NOW 20% OFF Most Custom Fabrics 5 yds. or more r Lynn Valicy Rd. & Mountain Hwys N Van 988-1220 of 988 1525 TAKE ADVANTAGE. THE COLORS AND FABRICS THAT SUIT YOU. AT LOW COST! FREE ESTIMATES ashton horne mceriors Lto Setting it all together ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 forappointments for individual. family or group counselling. His new office in the Internauonal Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the convenence of North Shore residents. to one more human being. Don't listen to me. Listen to YOU. And say YES! Wait before you get it on QUESTION: Can you give me one good reason why I (1S years) shouldn't he getting it on with girls? STEWART: Just one? Why sure. The first one that leaps to mind is that you are so unsure of your own reasons that you feel the urge to ask someone else. When you are that unsure about any very important matter, it is usually a good idea to wait a minute and think it out. O.K.? For instance, our cooktop grill you can have Feeling dumb and wanti QUESTION: For y been on drugs. I'vé into all sorts of things and all my friends have been into one kind of stuff or another for a long time. I feel so damn dumb and ashamed of myself for being the sort of guy who wants to quit and doesn't do it. Not one of my friends knows I want to quit. What I want to know is if vou know of some new way of kicking my habit. [ve tried all the old ways. STEW ART: Sorry, old man, there’s no new way. In fact Derek needs a home ng to quit there isn’t even an old way. The only thing open to you is YOUR way. So far, you have not quite wanted to get into it, have you? YOUR way will work for you when you want to go along with it. It will be hard, you know that. But when you want it to, it will work for you. When you think you are ready, and KNOW you are ready, (and: are not just giving yourself a pious or frightened line) give me a call. Some of it we might work on together. But it will be YOUR thing! Derek is 14% yrs. old and needs strong committed parents. 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