a

C8-Wednesday, October 15, 1980 - North Shore News

QUESTION: I am sincerely

and seriously interested in |

improving my life and
becoming the sort of person
who is really all together.
God knows [I've tried
everything I can think of.

(Except going to you for

counselling!) When a person
has really tried as hard as |
have and js still not getting
the feeling he bs making
much headway, what's the
one word you can say to
him?

STEWART: Boy! What an
opening for me to say,
“Come tomefor counselling.”
But that is five words, not
the one you want. Instead of
the five and instead of the
one, would you settle for

three? Anyway, here they.

are. 1 & 2 — QUIT
TRYING; and 3 — LISTEN!
It's important to keep it in

QUESTION: [m captured
by the terrible ‘habit of

always the worst
for myself. I know it ts
logical and that even the
law of averages is against it,
brut that’s the way I am. For
me, I expect anything that
can go wrong to do so — and
most of the time it does. On
many occasions, things have
gone wrong in exactly the
way I expected them to.
Why am I like that and what
can I do about it?

that order. You are trying so
hard and in so many. ways,
that your inner self begins to
believe that you don't have
much confidence in it, or
much hope for it. So quit
trying for a while. Accept
yourself and your reality
exactly as you see them. Say,
“This is what it’s like with me
and I accept that it is like
that with me. That's how I
am.” Only when you accept
who you are, aS you are, are

or the

STEWART: I think you're
right in calling it a habit.
You were probably taught or
conditioned to develop that
attitude when you were quite
young. It's a habit that
Strengthens until you
recognize it and lay it low.
Ancient literature gives

many warnings against being
blinded and paralyzed by it.
For example, “As a man
thinketh in his heart (sub-
conscious) so is he”.
have the right,

You
the op-

you ready for much change.
And when you accept
yourself as you are, you are
then ready to LISTEN.
Listen to your own higher
self. Pay attention to your
centre. There. That's
enough. If I say too much
about such a difficult thing
to put into words, Ill either
lose you altogether, or say so
much that it will seem to you
that you should try hard
once more to pay attention

portunity and the respon-

sibility to make another
choice about what you keep
telling your subconscious.
You can CHOOSE to create
your own reality consciously
rather than living as though
that “habit” has power over
you. Make NEW choices.

Drive in another lane.
Throw out the old pattern.
Get off your stump. The
good for you is all around
you. Reach for it.

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Setting it all together

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
forappointments for individual. family or group counselling. His new
office in the Internauonal Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the
convenence of North Shore residents.

to one more human being.
Don't listen to me. Listen to
YOU. And say YES!

Wait before
you get it on

QUESTION: Can you give
me one good reason why I
(1S years) shouldn't he
getting it on with girls?

STEWART: Just one? Why
sure. The first one that leaps
to mind is that you are so
unsure of your own reasons
that you feel the urge to ask
someone else. When you are
that unsure about any very
important matter, it is
usually a good idea to wait a
minute and think it out.
O.K.?

For instance, our cooktop grill you can have

Feeling dumb

and wanti

QUESTION: For y

been on drugs. I'vé into
all sorts of things and all my
friends have been into one
kind of stuff or another for a
long time. I feel so damn
dumb and ashamed of myself
for being the sort of guy who
wants to quit and doesn't do
it. Not one of my friends
knows I want to quit. What I
want to know is if vou know
of some new way of kicking
my habit. [ve tried all the
old ways.

STEW ART: Sorry, old man,
there’s no new way. In fact

Derek
needs a home

ng to quit
there isn’t even an old way.
The only thing open to you is
YOUR way. So far, you have
not quite wanted to get into
it, have you? YOUR way will
work for you when you want
to go along with it. It will be
hard, you know that. But
when you want it to, it will
work for you. When you
think you are ready, and

KNOW you are ready, (and:

are not just giving yourself a
pious or frightened line) give
me a call. Some of it we
might work on together. But
it will be YOUR thing!

Derek is 14% yrs. old and needs strong committed
parents. He craves friendship, needs 1-1 attention,
help in teaming self-control, coping with frustrations &
learning to reiate to his peers. A rural! setting would be

desirable
available .

Support services & special

rates are

For more information please call
David Hoviand
986-2294

Province of

British Columbia
Ministry of

Human Resources

E

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