‘8 + Wednesday, December 25, 1985’ ~ North Shore News

Doug Collins

° get this straight

NEVER MARRY the same woman twice. do some yodelling. Or to
That's Doug's free Xmas married with only three Scotland for some

advice to those disappear- days left in which to get Highland dancing.

ing into the maw of measured for a suit, not to

marriage. i mention a change of socks? We were used to
! married the ‘same There will be a certain Highland dancing. Only the
woman twice, and have suf- amount of panic. You will previous year we had been
fered for it ever since. get your suit the night up there for a holiday and it
Don't misunderstand me. before the churching, it was affthey would let us do.

You don't have to be won't fit and you will ap- We stayed at the
divorced in order to marry pear for the great event Trossachs Hotel, an ancient
the same woman twice. All looking like Bobo the manor crammed with

you have to be is me. | Clown, complete with dessicated ladies ‘and
We were working in Ger- baggy pants. gentlemen who were there
many at the time, and the ‘’ for a Scottish Tory
nit-picking Military Ee | Convention.
Government wouldn’t put Which meant,. let me
“1 satellite civilians on the list assure you, that there was
{ for a house unless they were . no opportunity for cuddlin’
spliced, Even then there was : and kissin’ or anything un- | &
a waiting period. So the ‘ce Presbyterian. af
house factor was one of the We were : The chieftan at the recep- |
facts of life. Yeah, timés , tion desk wore kilt and
were tough then, » Son. 0 used to sporran, and looked as if he
i nyway, one Nov. 3( ight. have fought with
TT Gray Eyes ‘ind 1 went tothe Li ighland — Bennie have oe Charlie in
; |. consulate in Hamburg with 4
'-{ honorable inenions and a, dancing. oo te ye? "re nay married,
‘*{ couple of friends for! on “lad.”
witnesses. And the deed was | Only the . a eNay.”

ae then went back to her ‘p re evious Jy ear My love wits into the

lonely east wing turret of

town and I to mine. ‘No | \we had been the grand old building. 1 got

time for frolicking around. 7 ce -*. the west wing turret. The in- §
—'[wat’getting on tor UD there for a servening tate condor
' -’T Christmas, and we were due holiday. and- it Scottish matrons. Occa-

to. be married again. in sionally, we leaned out of | }

‘.:f) church. In England. You was all they ’ our windows and waved to } -
:4--know. how parents are. Or each other. . - _
“were. would let us. “. Our lives have improved : Rea. - _ Sale
; The’ train ‘and boat trip: . sn a bit since then, but having 3.
a ‘home was a foretaste of our do. two wedding days has not f fm Look Adult Ski
-| exciting life to come. helped much. The first was | ffm . Look 39 Binding 32498 129”
“The German railway a, official but not a fot of fun, | fm installation
_Porter mistook my impec- : ~~. t-. > while’ the second was unof- | ig
cable iPexcited i instructions, ; ficial and had too much} & Atomic ART Sil .
with the result that 1 went i . : fun. And I always forget | §@ Salomon inding : 99
on one train and my lug- (REDE dates. y B 2 Installation & Hot Wax 3068 179
gage on another. Gray. This year, the usual Nov. | &
Eyes’ stuff was OK, It must say, though, ‘that ., 30 exchange took Place. = ©Dynastar 3003 Ski
though,.so perhaps it was’ hardly anyone; laughed "- “It was our. anniversary | fq Tyrolla 190D 98 199”
- | all a plot: In any event, 1° when I nearly hit the parson ._yesterday,”’ she said. | “Installation & Hot Wax 361
: “Uf, got back looking even more in the eye. 1 was, after all, ~~. “‘Not™- really,’ says 1. a
: {sf} rumpled’. than -.Rumpole,” only trying to free my hands “It’s Dec. 22."" ‘Bl Head 4.0 Ski . vo,
; “f} and. ie didn’t take a lot-of from the. all- -enveloping Come Dec. 22, of course, he  Tyrolia 90D. 98 239%
Loe savy to see that the dear . sleeves “of the wonderful her faithful servant's Installation & Hot Wax 371
*F one’s parents were elevating’: new suit. thoughts are on Christmas. .
theis eyebrows a bit. Talk | By that time it wasdawn- Haven't we already had one
,about : something the cat: ing on me that getting mar- anniversary?
“had brought in! : {tied ‘twice was not the As'I say, children, never

e Worse ‘was to, come.'( brainiest thing. We could marry the same woman
7 Have you ever tried to. get! have gone to Switzerland to twice.

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