26 — Sunday, April 23, 1995 — North Shore News

The unrave :

vintage years

I’M WRITING this coi-
umn so that you and I can
read it and gnash our
teeth quietly to ‘ourselves
without bringing down on
our heads a lot of “Oh
Gramma” and “Oh
Grampa” deplorings.

It will, I hope, unload some of
our more aghast observations of
life as we see it around us without
exposing our apprehensions to
those younger, more resilient citi-
zens who accept that that’s what
life is like now.

Parents seem to have shed the
idea of supervision beyond the age
of 10 or 11. Kids can be found at
alt hours on the street, in the
movies, tipping garbage cans in
alleys, threatening the elderly in
their homes, robbing stores, steal-
ing cars and setting fire to build-
ings.

Perhaps it’s because their par-
ents can’t tell them apart. The
boys all wear great roomy canvas
pants and jerseys and back-to-front
hats. They move in coveys,
always, shoelaces trickling along
beside them.

The family as we’ve known it
is in many cases in danger of
unravelling altogether because
there’s no certain reliable core any
more. Mother’s not about because
she’s busy at her career, she has to
develop her potential, and the chil-
dren have to develop theirs the
best they can. It’s not always the
best.

The children need guidance in
designing their own blueprint for
life and haven’t yet developed an
ardour for anything but a warm lap

.and an encouraging parent who’s
there when they get home and
knows how to make a decent meal.

As arule , dads don’t really fill

that role in an effective way. Their |

coticerns are the mortgage and the
“taxes and the car and who’ 's got his
eye on my job? -

And darn few sitters — in lofti-
er circumstances, nannies —- are
prepared to be mother and father
.to their charges. We have cases
where nursing infants are carried
to the workplace. The mothers °
take for granted that their schedule
of breastfeedings will be blended
into the workday. .

' - It boggles the old mind that the

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Lawyer/Notary

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and:
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father should bring the child to the
mother’s office for this sustenance,
while the rest of the staff coos and
goos. Who's paying their wages?

Would it not be reasonable to
think a nursiag mother would want
to be with her child, in her home,
giving full attention to her own
priorities as wel! as those of the
child?

One of the tellers in my bank
assured me she'd be back in six
weeks, once she was delivered of
her imminent child. Someone else,
some stranger, possibly a grand-
mother, is going to watch all of
that baby’s development into a
person. Well, there are week-ends.

The television set, so often
leaned on as a sitter for little kids
on rainy days, and adult kids any
time, is at best mind-dulling. At its
worst, threatening and obscene.
Aggression and violence lapped up
in this mindless way can stir up all
sorts of childish traumas that total-
ly overshadow the normalities of
school and home.

Shari Graydon, head of Media
Watch, tells us that elementary
teachers claim kids aren’t playing
tag or jumping rope at recess these
days — they’re too preoccupied
practising martial kicks and
punches that will keep the bad
guys at bay. Innocence has
become just a condition to make
fun of.

High-profile women in law and
politics find that having children is
of course very acceptable to their

fans and supporters — they’re
raising the female image from boz-
ing home-maker to competent
mover and shaker. But, when their
husbands decide their children are
getting the short end of the stick,
they do the unthinkable and make
their own custodial arrangements.
The mothers protest that their suc-
cess is militating against them.
One could suggest that they use
their fertile years for the children
and that at the end of that time
they begin to work to save the

world in their image when they are [Q

indisputably older and smarter.

{n any event, doing it the way
they are doing it is bound to make
a mess of their children’s lives. I
can vouch. My parents divorced
when | was about three. I have no
childish memories at all of my
father — when I met him in my
late teens he was into his fifties.

We quite liked each other. It
was rather touching, but his depar-
ture from my life had caused revo-
lutionary change in my growing-
up. ;

Of course, divorce in those
days was a freak thing anyway,
especially in the unsophisticated
world cf the Canadian small town.
At least our mother was a con-
stant.

Having children is a career on
its own, not just another item to
prove she can do everything he -
can do. Better.

There, that’s a load off my
chest.

VOLUNTEER RECOGNITION WEEK

April 23 - 29

THANK-YOU

NORTH
SHORE
DISABILITY
RESOURCE
CENTRE

to all VOLUNTEERS...

who have contributed their fime and
effort to our organization and others
in the community

“Working for a
Community

for All”

If you are interested in becoming a VOLUNTEER
with the NSDRC call Teresa at 985-5371

Stephen Wong
Pharmacist
Capsule Comment j

The American Diabetic Assoc. uses
the acronyms DIABETES and
CAUTION to halp people recognize
the warming signs of diabetes. .
Since many Canadians may have
diabetes and not know It, we men-
tion them here. If you experience a
faw of these symptoms, check with
your doctor...

Rrowsiness, {tching, A family histo-
ty of diabetos, Blurred vision,
Excessive weight, Tingling, numb-
ness and pain in extremities, Easy
fatigue, $kin iniection, siow healing,
cuts, scratches, especially on feet.
Gonstant urination, Abnormal thirst,
Unusual hunger, The rapid loss of
weight, Irritability, Obvious weak-
ness and fatigue, Nausea and vorn-
iting.

Sure! The Peopie Get. Seat

Belts... bast what about ust

ur vohicile. Botter yor,
ve your deg :
at home.

A messane from your local $.FCA.

THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 10:00 - 5:00 pm
Company Representative in store 9:00 - 1:00 pm

MEDISENSE For: ]

| SAgee

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Blood
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| with

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1401 St. Georges Ave..
(across from Lions Gate Emergency), * 385- 8771