JES : Pm between the pro- y verbial rock and "a hard place. I love my husband dearly, even after 9 years of unhappiness with him. But I feel strongly that it is not good for me to live with him. The poor guy has a physical in- —ability—-which—bothers him immensely. I have hoped. throughout our acquaintance and our marriage -that- he, with any help I could give him, would develop a better attitude con- cerning his handicap. The exact opposite has . happened. Because he sees himself as disadvantaged, apparently he feels he must be completely -independent, in order -to show that he is O.K. He seems to havea need to be the strong man. He must make ali the decisions. He is com- pletely inflexible-and refuses to discuss a decision he is considering or has. already made. The way it works out. for me is that I have no say about anything at all. I am to do.as Pm told. His say must have my complete acceptance and respect while he is utterly unable to Show any respect | whatsoever for anything I think: There is to be ab- solutely no thought on my part. that, be can. be anything but wight. Ten see. that he has chosen a way to compen- sate for his:own f lings of inadequacy, : but itis a way that depends on my will- ingness to.subordinate myself to another human being, in- deed, even to deny myself of my own individuality. This, in my way of think- ing, is to ask too much of me, although, heaven only knows Displays & Demonstrations 6.30pm Fo obtain your FREC personal avitation for you and one guest please ung 986-1025/921-8506/685-9010 Andres Wines BC Ltd Chantilly Bridal Boutique Ltd Cc &C Glass Decorations Creative Media Gilbey Canada Inc J & RW. Associates Cookware Ladytingers Studios Inc Lady Lincoln Limo Ltd Lawleys of London by Hayden Stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for _indiyidual, family or group counselling. I have actually tried to do that sort of thing because of my love. I think. I have been wrong and have decided the pattern must be broken. For that reason, my mind is made up to leave my husband and to make a new life that is more: fulfilling. But I am far from happy about it. How can I leave the man I love? and, or, how can I stay with him. and wither away? STEWART: It is unthinkable ‘for you to walk away from your love. But it is not un- thinkable for you to walk away from the person you love. It is unthinkable for you to **deny”’ yourself of your “‘in-_ dividuality’’, but it is not un- thinkable for you to find a. way to accept your in- dividuality with him or apart. from him. To stay with the’ man you love will demand of you that you also stay with yourself and find your way into the experience of feeling fulfilled in your selfhood. Ya but, (as my grandson says) ya but - how wilkyou do it? Tell your husband that Ven TV Week Writings Cinderella Quilts & Bedding Gifte for every bride and exciting Door Prizes. me Same 1980 Cordially inviles all Budes-to-be to FREE BRIDAL PARTY on Tuesday, March 7th al The Coach House Inn Fashion Show begins al McLeod Young Welr Mirror image Photography National Lite of Canada North Shore Orchid Florists Ltd Sounds Great Music Services The Baltoonery Tne Coach House tnn C23 - Wednesday, March 21, 1984 - North Shore News Ny =" YOURSELF ro = PICTURE. ‘© HEALTH SUCCESS © EMOTIONS @ ANXIETIES growing where you know it is -Not the best way for you to be ©@ MOTIVATIONS with techniques of life somes which, obvious- who’ ly is to be fully yourself. Tell it in ‘that way. UTOGENIC TRAINING him you are sorry you did not But I agree. a ' ‘doit A..Mind Body system easily learned Jong tu time: ago, but that — Be producing results within the first week ‘COURSE $150.00. 6 WEEKS. ‘One 2 hour session per week ’Next courses start 28th & 3ist March FOR FULL INFORMATION CALL OLISTIC THERAPY: CENTRE 651 WELCH ST.; NORTH VANCOUVER 0 am - 12 noon i. 2 pm - 4 pm call: 986-4131 After 6.pm call 922-3563 you both. Be-sur ‘ ie however, that if, after a ‘good effort, you feel you cannot do this all important thing of being yourself while you are with him, that at that time you will make whatever changes seem “‘right’’ for you. Be sure you do not blame him for anything, or suggest HE should change. Rather, -tell him what YOU have not done well and, with your new awareness, what you have now decided to do with dedication and abandon. Be clear about that in your own mind, because, you know, it ain’t his fault - nor-yours. It’s just that you are now ready fora better life - and ‘perhaps he is ‘too. QUESTION: We have friends who have recently ac- quired 2 hot tub to outdo all hot tubs. It is outsized and extravagantly equipped for all sorts of relaxation and pleasure. They said, when they were in the throws of purchasing it, that they Why should read the Friday News? ou could win $100 O «0 s are looking for Friday News readers. ff they take your photograph with the Fri- day News tn your hand, you could win $100. altend a Each Friday we will publish the photograph of the bucky Friday News reader from the previous week. If that reader calls the News before noon on the following Monday and presents his or her photograph from the Friday News, we pay $100 —- instantly! 7 yopm Find yourself in the Friday News — you could win $100. , canseunernnveneinunalbetcannentetionneeticahnonennmadbcninsverandeonund sunday news north shore news If you find yourself tn the Friday News, cali our affice before noon the following Monday to claim yout $100 prize. 985-2131 eae Magazine